What We Could Have Done
by drgemini86
Summary: Sam comes back from Atlantis. The team attends the extraction ceremony of the last Ba'al clone, but will this be their last adventure? Missing scenes and tags for Stargate Continuum. Sequel to What We Should Be Doing. SamDaniel CamVala TealcIshta JackSara
1. Chapter 1

_**What We Could Have Done, by DrGemini86 (DrGemini24)**_

_**Summary: **Sam catches up with old friends when her time in Atlantis is cut short. The team attends the extraction ceremony of the last Ba'al clone, but will this be their last adventure? Missing scenes and tags for Stargate: Continuum. Sequel to What We Should Be Doing  
_

_**Pairings: **Sam/Daniel, Cam/Vala, Teal'c/Ish'ta, Jack/Sara_

_**Rating: **T_

_**Category: **Established Romance_

_**Genres: **A/U, Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, Episode-related, Friendship, Relationship, Romance, Tragedy_

_**Series: **3 of 3 (preceded by What We Should Be Doing)_

_**A/N: **This is the Continuum missing scene/tag thing that I've been wanting to do for a long time. It's the final story in a trilogy (1: What I Should Have Told You, 2: What We Should Be Doing). I hope you like it. All comments/criticism are welcome. :o)_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel hadn't done this in years; too many to think of right now. He was in the middle of a desert, in the blistering heat, watching as dozens of archaeology students and locally-sourced labourers busily yet carefully scraped away the sand and dust. He watched them peel back the layers and years of civilisation, digging further into the past. He glanced at the large grid-map that he held, but his mind was miles away; light years to be precise.

He had come out here so he could do something other than languishing about in Colorado Springs between surprisingly run-of-the-mill missions off-world. Egypt had once again beckoned, promising adventures. Well, so far it had delivered unspoken promises of heat rash and mosquitoes, and, if he was honest with himself, this felt dull compared to the things he had done in the past decade.

But it was an escape.

Still, when he was an active member of SG-1, while he was cynical about governmental and military policy, this wasn't how he had envisioned his life outside of the SGC. This seemed somehow like a step-down. It was hard to remember that while he had been immersed in origins of off-world civilisations and myths, that they really did come back here. Of course, that was the basis of the theories he had proven, but it was easy for him to forget the vast wealth of history on Earth. He grimaced a little – how had he come to look down on his own planet so?

He was about to climb down the wooden ladder into the pit where the diggers were. However, he stopped on hearing what sounded like a helicopter nearby. He turned and squinted up at the sky, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the sun. He frowned. It looked like a military helicopter. His frown vanished and a sinking feeling grew in his stomach. Had an emergency arose at the SGC? He then visibly blanched. Had Atlantis been attacked?

Around him, people stopped working and got up to have a look as the helicopter hovered, looking for a place to land. Daniel held his scarf around his mouth and nose as dust and sand was blown into the air. He then stared as he recognised one of the people inside the helicopter. As the blades slowed, Daniel ran towards the craft, crouching as he neared it. As he did so, Jack O'Neill stepped out of the cockpit and coolly slid on a pair of sunglasses and his olive-green baseball cap.

The two men stared at one another for a moment, and then they hugged suddenly. When they let go, Daniel asked, "What are you doing here?"

Jack retorted, "What, an old friend can't drop in when you decide to be incommunicado?"

Daniel shrugged and said, "I'm on leave. You won't let me go to..." He cleared his throat, well aware of his relatively public surroundings. "... Pegasus; I've got to do something."

Jack cocked his head and said, "Well, Danny, that's the thing."

That sinking feeling returned. Daniel asked, "Jack, please don't play with me – what's happened to Sam?"

"She's back."

Daniel seemed surprised and then happy. However, there was only one reason in his mind for his fiancée to return prematurely. "Is she hurt?"

"No, no, just her pride. Woolsey's in charge out there now. She's been cursing up a treat." Jack looked out at the crowd of people which slowly dispersed now that nothing of interest was happening. Jack then looked at Daniel again. "Go on, pack your things. I'm taking you home."

"Now?"

"Yeah. You know, I might tell you someday why I get itchy anywhere near the Middle East." Jack patted Daniel on the shoulder. "Go on, we can catch up on the ride back to Cairo. Big, big news going down. You were due back anyway."

Daniel looked up at the helicopter and noticed the pilot. The pilot – a well-built man with dark hair – leaned out of the cockpit and grinned at him. He said, "Hey, Doc, how's it hanging?"

Daniel recognised the man – he was one of the F-302 pilots at the SGC. Daniel replied with a tight smile, "Lieutenant Wood."

Further conversation was cut off when Jack pressured him once again to get ready to leave.

_Home_. He smiled as he made his way to a nearby trailer. He was going home. He was going back to Sam. He hadn't envisioned that she'd come back before he did, and while he was concerned about how she would feel about her return, it would be good to see her again. He then paused. How could he leave this place prematurely? His coming here had been a long-standing favour from Catherine Langford's niece.

But those doubts were swept away as he thought of going home to Sam. For the moment, he forgot what Jack had said about there being big news.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Vala sat on the floor of the living room with only a blanket around her to cover her nakedness. She closed her eyes as she savoured a spoonful of ice cream, finding yet another reason for loving Earth. She flicked through channels on the TV until she found a programme she recognised. She watched it for a few minutes, before bursting into tears as she continued eating ice cream.

She then froze on hearing the sound of a key in the lock of the front door. She quickly dried her tears and resumed watching, but the tears returned.

Cam entered the house and called, "Baby! I'm home!"

He dropped his keys on a table in the hall, and hung his jacket up. He entered the living room and stopped in his tracks on seeing his wife on the floor with only a blanket on, and watching soap operas. As he neared her, he remarked,

"You could at least have put something on... especially since we have a different mailman 'cos of last time." He sat down next to her and put an arm her. Noticing her tears, he kissed her, and asked, "Hey, what's wrong?"

She sniffed and looked past him at the screen. Distraught, she said, "What's wrong??" She looked at him again. "Rachel just told Ross how she felt and he walked out on her. I mean, he came back, but..."

He stared at her calmly and said, "_That's_ what you're upset about? A bunch of fictional characters going about their fictional lives? Baby, it's not real. I don't know who's been talking to you, but if it says it's a sitcom, it's not real."

She was still upset so he took the tub of ice cream from her and put it on the floor. He then hugged her and she cried in his arms. He kissed the side of her head. "Aww, come on, this'll pass." He paused. "I hope." He rubbed her back. "It's some stupid hormones."

She closed her eyes and sniffed in his embrace. She said, "I hate feeling like this. I couldn't stop crying during You've Got Mail. Come on, it's You've Got Mail. I mean... agh!" She shook her head. "I never felt like this carrying Adria."

"Well, you know, that wasn't exactly a normal pregnancy. This, I'm told, is completely normal. I know it sucks but just ride it out a little. I'm not going anywhere without you." He smiled a little as he looked at her and he dried her tears. "There's my beautiful gal." His smile faded and he soon grew serious. "You sure you're okay enough to go to Ba'al's extraction? I don't like that they're letting you go in your condition."

She grew just as serious as she regarded him coldly. She said, "No, I have to be there. You're not stopping me." She whacked him on the shoulder. "And, you know, Cameron, it's not like I'm a bomb or anything. I'm pregnant. Women throughout time and space have gone through the same thing." When he looked as though he was going to speak, she pointed at him. "No, don't. I'll be fine. I won't be if I'm not there. I'm not even that far gone yet."

He kissed her neck, and murmured, "Vala, I'm just worried about you. You could get all upset with all the memories coming back."

She retorted sharply, "Honey, they never went anywhere. Do you honestly think that I am ever going to forget what I've been through? It's scarred me for life."

"That's what I'm worried about." He kissed her gently. "Come on, let's get you something to eat."

She asked, concerned, "How's Sam doing?"

"Itching to go back. Don't tell anyone, but I think O'Neill had a hand in that IOA decision. It's not something you hear everyday. She'll kill him if she finds out."

"I'll bet." As Cam helped her to her feet, Vala asked, "So, when are Daniel and Muscles due back?"

Now standing, he kissed her as he adjusted the blanket around her. He said, "Well, Muscles is already back from Hak'tyl. Jackson's not due back 'til tonight."

She frowned. "I wish I could've gone out to Egypt. I've never been outside of this country before." She looked at Cam. "Don't get me wrong; I like it, but if you didn't want me getting itchy, you shouldn't have shown me a world map."

Cam looked at her in bemusement. He said, "Hey, we've been to Canada."

She looked confused, and he continued, "Don't get Jackson started about North American history. I made that mistake once – he wouldn't stop talking for hours. I had to rope in Sam to distract him."

He put an arm around his wife. "Anyway, enough yak-yak. Let's go eat."


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay, we have to get the IOA to overturn their decision. This meant a lot for Sam, and they just pull the rug from under her feet like that? What's most disturbing in all of this is that you let them." Daniel tried albeit unsuccessfully to keep a lid on his temper. "You let them do that to her. I mean, why!?"

Jack and Landry sat behind Landry's desk. They quietly watched as the troubled archaeologist paced the length of the office. The two Generals exchanged a meaningful look, and then Landry nodded in Daniel's direction. Jack sighed, and he got up. He walked around to Daniel, and said,

"Daniel, listen. She was due back anyway for Ba'al's extraction."

Daniel stopped suddenly and faced Jack. He frowned as he stared at him for a few seconds. He then shook his head. He said, "You let them do it."

A frustrated Jack snapped, "Oh fer cryin' out loud, Daniel! Wake up and smell the coffee." He turned towards Landry. "Are you hearin' this!? Try and do something nice for Love Monkey and he gets all aggressive. You're explaining this before I do something that I really will regret."

Daniel looked as though he was about to square up to Jack, so Landry quickly got to his feet. Landry said loudly, "Cut that out! You're two grown men. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! I wouldn't even expect this sort of behaviour from a bunch of second graders!"

The two other men folded their arms across their chests, and Jack said, "He started it."

Landry looked from one man to the other. He then said to Daniel, "Doctor Jackson, someone with Colonel Carter's experience and skills is very valuable; too valuable, in fact, to be left in command of a civilian expedition in another galaxy. We need her here. As you may or may not know, the Phoenix is nearing completion and we thought it better for her to be in command of it when it's done."

When Daniel looked surprised, Landry continued, "So, be assured that we had no malicious intent when we approved the IOA's decision." The General shook his head. "She's one of our people – the IOA can't decide immediately to remove her like that. They had to come through us."

Daniel asked, confused, "So you're saying it was your decision all along?"

Jack grimaced briefly. He said, "No... Well, yeah, but the IOA were itching to replace her from the get-go. Something about them not liking a soldier in charge but knowing that it was necessary."

Landry said, "Our apologies though, Doctor Jackson. We should have kept you informed of the developments."

Jack added, "If you'd actually stayed in touch." Landry gave Jack a reproving look, and Jack said, "What? Our boy was incommunicado." Jack then turned to Daniel. "Anywho. Daniel, you haven't seen your little lady in over a year. Don't make me nudge you."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam sat alone in the Commissary, the Colonel idly stirring coffee that she had no intention of drinking. She looked up every once in a while when acquaintances and colleagues greeted her, but they all went to their own tables or left to do some work. All she had managed to do was smile and nod, and thank them for the greeting, whether it was just a 'welcome back' or a slap on the back from one of the Marines.

It wasn't fair. While she would have been here anyway, it wasn't fair that she couldn't go back. She had been good; considering that it was another galaxy with different protocols. What had she done wrong that the IOA had seen fit to replace her? Were they just intimidated by the idea of a member of the US military being in charge? It wasn't like she was actually in charge of that place – it had seemed to be pretty self-sufficient... and if she was honest with herself, she had always felt that she could never quite fill the shoes left by Elizabeth Weir.

No matter how good she was, she knew that they would always compare her to her predecessor, and well, she couldn't blame them. Elizabeth had been their friend and confidante for a long time. Sam found herself asking what Elizabeth would have done in such a situation. Well, for one, she would never have taken the IOA's decision lying down. She would have found some way to go back.

Sam sighed. What was the point? The decision had been made, and, well, she was finally back home for a lot longer than she had initially thought she would be. She should be happy, but it felt so different – so alien to her. There were people she knew but they had moved on with their lives – they were different. She had missed so much and now felt out of place.

She looked at the engagement ring on her finger. She hadn't thought it a good idea to wear it while on duty, and, in more ways than one, she was glad she hadn't. Safety issues aside, it reminded her too much of the things she had left behind; the people, or rather, one person in particular. Hot tears burned her eyes as she thought of the man that she had longed for each night she had been out there.

And he wasn't there to welcome her back. She wanted nothing more than to be held by him and told that everything was going to be okay. Cam had told her that Daniel had left for Egypt not long after she had left to take command of Atlantis. She had pressed him for details – for anything that Daniel might have said – but Cam hadn't been forthcoming.

SG-1 and Jack had been invited to the Tok'ra home world to attend the extraction ceremony of the last Ba'al clone. The Goa'uld had been captured by Cam, Teal'c, and SG-3, following some undercover work on Cam's part. There was talk of medals for the two teams involved, and Sam wondered how Cam and Teal'c had been allowed to continue operating as SG-1 without any extra members since Vala had had to cutback her duties because of her pregnancy.

Sam sighed again. That was something else she had missed, although a small part of her was glad not to have been there. She was jealous. At her age, it was very unlikely that she could conceive naturally, and it hurt. There was nothing more she wanted than to have a child with Daniel. But they had already accepted that perhaps they would need a little help if and when having a child would be convenient for both of them, considering the nature of their jobs.

She had dealt with it, or so she had thought. She had been happy when Cam had told her about Vala. She knew that he and Vala had struggled for a while to conceive. But now that it was finally happening, she couldn't help but feel sad. It felt as though they were going on a wonderful journey together that she could never be a part of.

She was a mess. She silently chastised herself for thinking such thoughts and allowing herself to get so depressed. She was home. While it wasn't expected of her to be happy about the IOA's decision, she should at least have been happy to be back.

Now sure she wasn't going to drink the coffee, she poured even more sugar into it. She continued stirring as she once again became lost in her thoughts.

On feeling a hand on her shoulder, she looked up, expecting one more scientist or soldier. However, she had to look again to make sure she hadn't been seeing things. Standing next to her seat was Daniel. Her heart rate speeded up. He was here. She quickly got up and was swept off her feet in a fierce hug. She laughed, ignoring the wolf whistles from behind her as she kissed him.

She never thought she'd feel so happy to see him. It felt as though a lightbulb had switched on within her. When he eventually let her go, she quickly hugged him and tears filled her eyes. He rested his head against hers and murmured,

"It's good to have you back." He kissed her head. "I missed you."

She nodded, unable to speak. She closed her eyes and managed to smile. This was much better than her dreams or her memories. She could stay there forever. He kissed her again, and he slowly let go of her. He touched her cheek and said, "Come on, Sam. Let's go somewhere a bit quieter."

She had been crying and she hadn't realised it until he began to dry her tears. She nodded and smiled again. She said hoarsely, "Sure. It's so good to see you again."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Alone with him in his office, Sam finally noticed the little differences – the changes – in him. He was tanned from his time in Egypt and his hair seemed lighter to her, and a little longer than he usually allowed it to be. She reached up to feel his hair and noticed some grey hairs too. Daniel appeared momentarily self-conscious as he held the hand that seemed to be lost in his hair. He said,

"I'm getting it cut before we go to the extraction... and getting that grey covered. It was nice forgetting how old I'm getting."

She laughed a little at his self-consciousness. She said, "It suits you." She smiled teasingly. "Well, at least this time when I leave you for a spell, you didn't decide to grow a beard." She sighed happily as she rested her head against his chest. She then looked up at him. "How was Egypt?"

"Surprisingly not as interesting as I thought it would be." He looked troubled as he looked down at her. "You know, I always imagined that if the SGC closed, we could go to Egypt together. I'm not so sure now. I guess it's because I know that there is so much more out there and that there is a lot more to Egyptian mythology than is common knowledge around here."

She closed her eyes as she breathed in his scent, reacquainting herself with the old. She said quietly, "Well, this place is home after all."

He smiled as he looked down at her. He said, "It sure is." His smile faded as previous doubts resurfaced. He said, "How are you holding up?"

She shrugged as she tried not to let thoughts of the IOA ruin her happiness at being with Daniel again. Sam said, "I don't want to talk about it right now."

He said cautiously, "You're going to have to at some point."

She nodded wistfully, and said, "I know. I just don't want to have to deal with it right now." She looked up at him. "Just so you know, Daniel, I am really happy to see you again, okay? And, you know..." She sighed as she looked away from him. "... if I did have to go back after the extraction, it would have been the hardest decision I'd have made to date."

She looked back at him and he didn't miss the longing in her eyes. She had seen things that he hadn't and it seemed as though she was a world away from him. He was happy that she had done those things and had been tested more than she could have been on SG-1. But what made him a little sad was that it felt as though he had lost a part of her; as though she was still in that other galaxy; still walking around the Lost City of the Ancients.

He said, "Sam, I know it's hard for you right now, but you did a good job." When she looked up at him, he looked at her in concern. "How's the leg? Jack told me you broke it on a mission."

"It's good... that was a few months ago." She suddenly covered her eyes with a hand. She sighed. "Sorry, you deserve more than this. It feels like I'm falling apart."

He shook his head as he held her tighter as she began to cry. He gently nuzzled her neck, and whispered, "We need you here way more than they ever could." He smiled even though his heart was breaking to see her so upset. "... _I_ need you."

Her voice wobbled when she spoke. She said, "You know what's stupid about this?" She looked up at him and he slowly dried her tears. "Every night I was out there, I wanted you by my side. I was so messed up – Jennifer had to give me sleeping pills. And now I'm here, I'd rather be back out there again." She sighed. "Okay, you know, maybe I'd be better at dealing with this if the IOA told me in advance that I might not go back. All they told me about was some stinkin' and, you know, pointless review and..." She sniffed. "They expected me to be calm and civil during that review. It was so freakin' hard. They wouldn't even listen when I made a formal complaint."

He felt guilty, knowing the real reasons behind her reassignment. He said, "Jack and General Landry are all over it. Don't worry about it so much. I'm sure it's nothing against you – they just weren't comfortable about a member of the US military being in charge. You knew it wasn't permanent."

"It just sucks, you know?"

He went to sit down behind his desk, feeling as though he had come home. He smiled slightly as he started feeling more like 'Daniel Jackson of SG-1' rather than 'Doctor Jackson, the odd archaeologist'. He then looked up at her to see that she was trying to be happy again. He patted his knees and said,

"Come on."

He was perturbed when she didn't laugh or make a joke about sitting on his lap. Instead, she just passively sat across his knees, and his heart cracked further to see how sad she looked. He held her in his arms and kissed her. He said quietly,

"You're going to be okay, Sam. Just hang in there."

She began to cry again in his arms. She whispered, "It's just so frustrating. I mean, I kinda felt out of place, but I didn't think it'd end like this." Teary-eyed, she then stared at his chest and played with the shirt buttons. "I'm sorry for being like this."

He kissed her once again and said, "Don't be. At least you had that time out there." He rested his head against hers. "Anyway, let's just stay here a while." He kissed her forehead and smirked. "I'll show you my mosquito bites later."

She undid a couple of buttons on his shirt, revealing a series of large but faded red spots on his chest. She said, concerned nonetheless, "Found some." She lightly felt a couple of them. She met his gaze. "It's not as bad as the time you got bitten all over by those bugs on 178."

He groaned, remembering being in severe discomfort after a previous mission. He said, "Oh God, don't remind me. I've never been so itchy in my entire life."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"So, big guy, how was the old lady?"

Teal'c raised a curious eyebrow at Cam's question. The rest of SG-1 followed suit from around a table in the kitchen of Sam and Daniel's house. Everyone except Teal'c and Cam then burst out laughing. Teal'c looked at them oddly while Cam glared. The Jaffa replied,

"Ish'ta is well."

Cam exchanged a couple of loaded looks with his wife. The Colonel then remarked, "So, uh, not so big fight this time? You guys gonna make O'Neill happy with a wedding?"

Teal'c replied coldly, "No."

Everyone else exchanged guarded looks. They then looked up when Jack entered the room. The General put a few six packs of Guinness into the fridge. He then said, "It's not about making _me_ happy, Mitchell." When Cam and Daniel moved away from one another, Jack sat down in between them and helped himself to a takeaway container. Jack looked at Teal'c. "What happened?"

"Ish'ta is not amenable to the idea of marriage. She believes it makes her look weak. She also believes that she will have to move to Earth."

"So, I'm taking it that your girl doesn't like us Earthlings then?"

Teal'c said, "She does not dislike you. She would rather that she remained with her people."

Daniel appeared curious as he asked, "What do you want, Teal'c?"

"It is irrelevant."

Jack pointed at Teal'c with his fork. He said, "Hey, if you have to move in with the little lady, don't think she's gonna get you so easily, T."

Teal'c didn't reply, the Jaffa remaining impassive. As the others fell into smaller conversations, Jack asked Sam, "Hey, Carter, how's it going?"

Sam was seated next to Daniel, a hand on his knee. She looked a lot happier and relaxed than she had on base. She said, "It's going good, Sir; thanks. Are you and Sara still getting married with us?"

"Well, depends if you two are still on." Jack shot a sly glance Daniel's way. "I wouldn't if I knew the things I do. You know, he's had a different woman each night out in Egypt. Those aren't mosquito bites, you know; they're hickies."

An annoyed Daniel rolled his eyes, and said, "Shut up, Jack."

"Hey, I get it you don't want the missus finding out, but..."

Cam turned from his conversation with Teal'c. He remarked aloud, "Boy, how I love the band being back together again." He cleared his throat, pretending to be embarrassed. "Certainly looks like our boy's been getting some action."

Vala said with a twinkle in her eyes, "Oh! I've seen the videos on YouTube. You could have been more discreet, Daniel."

Teal'c grinned broadly. "Indeed."

Daniel said, still annoyed, "I don't believe you guys. Get a life."

He glanced at Sam when she moved her hand from his knee. He then looked again to see that she had her arms folded across her chest. He looked at her in bemusement to see that she looked a stone's throw away from harming him. He nervously glanced around her, and said,

"Uh, Sam, you can't seriously believe a word they're saying."

She sighed and looked away from him. She said in a monotone, "I'm not sure what to believe any more."

A shocked hush descended on the table as Daniel looked incredibly worried. He touched her shoulder but she shied from his touch. Daniel couldn't believe what was happening – how could she take their friends' jokes so seriously?

"Sam. Come on..."

She slowly turned back to him. He was about to reassure her when he stopped in his tracks to see that she was grinning. Daniel closed his eyes in dismay, and said, "You were messing about, weren't you?"

Sam laughed. "I'm sorry, honey... but your face was priceless."

Jack was about to speak when there was a loud noise as Sam bolted from the table. Daniel then followed suit, chasing her out of the room and upstairs as he shouted at her. The rest of the team exchanged uncomfortable looks, and Jack said, "Yeah, I think we all know those two are going to go have hot wild monkey sex for the first time in a year. It could be noisy."

With the same uncomfortable looks, they all then slowly looked up at the ceiling as it began to shake, and they heard bed springs squeaking with increasing frequency. They also heard laughter and squeals. They looked at each other, and a grimacing Cam slowly put his fork down. Vala looked up again, looking as though she was going to say something until Cam glared at her. She poked her tongue out at him instead, and remarked,

"I have to say, Daniel moves fast."

Jack replied awkwardly, "Yeah." He looked at Teal'c and Cam. "So, boys... blackmail?"

Teal'c nodded with a smug smile. Cam said, "Oh yeah. Blackmail. Hey, if your mini-me was here, he'd be recording it."

Jack surreptitiously pulled out his mobile phone from his inside pocket. He put it on the table and said, "Special Forces at your service." Cam laughed and slapped the table, and Jack said, "So, you guys looking forward to watching them take the snake out of Ba'al? They're going to get really pissed if they have to delay it another week."

Cam retorted, "Yeah, like you care, Sir."

"Hey! I care. That bastard's finally going down." Jack nodded at Teal'c who was smiling slightly. "See? Even T's loving it."

Vala feigned innocence as she retorted, "Well, Muscles here would enjoy a lot of things if Ish'ta hadn't held out on her goodies."

Cam covered his eyes with a hand for a moment. He groaned and said, "You know, I thought we'd have less innuendo without l'il-Jack here, but you make up for him every time."


	3. Chapter 3

Daniel lie on his back, his hands clasped behind his head as he drifted between waking and dozing. Sam lie next to him, her head resting on his shoulder as one of her arms lie across his stomach. She looked at him adoringly, feeling that everything else was unimportant in comparison to what she had with him. With a smile of girlish glee, she kissed him, and closed her eyes.

He turned to kiss her head as he woke up for the countless time in countless hours. He murmured drowsily, "A week off from work shouldn't feel this good." He groaned a little as he slowly but painfully became aware of previous exertions. He whined, "I think I'm sore."

Sam finally breathed a sigh of relief. He looked down at her, puzzled, and she looked up at him. She gently rubbed his chest, and said, "Sorry. I was going to say something but I thought you'd be disappointed. It's been a year after all."

He moved his hands from behind his head and held her in his arms. He said, closing his eyes, "Sam, I'm in my mid-forties. If we hadn't had all those years on SG-1, I would have had a heart attack two days ago." He nuzzled at her throat, making her laugh. "Let's try to get some sleep. I don't want to be sleeping during the extraction."

She grew serious as she idly rubbed his waist. She said, "Somehow I doubt whether any of us will sleep during that." Her shoulders slumped a little. "I know the Goa'uld have already had their power dismantled, but this is pretty symbolic."

He nodded as he thought back over the years. He held her tighter, and said, "It is. It doesn't seem real. I thought it was all over but this is it. It's closure." He rested his chin on her shoulder as he became lost in his thoughts. "It doesn't make up for everything that they did – to so many millions of people in recent times and over the millennia – but it will have to do."

He looked at her and his gaze dropped. He said, "Come on, let's go get something to eat. I don't want to be a downer here."

She shook her head and said, "It's the harsh reality that all of us are left with. You know, I doubt whether the Stargate programme will ever be made public in our lifetimes, but I'd like to think that when or if it does, people will know the harsh truths rather than some jazzed up Hallmark movie with awful, swelling music and all of us as an extended version of the Fantastic Four."

He laughed and then groaned wearily. He said, "Actually, I could see that happening... with extra loud West Wing style music." He frowned. "I think that's going to give me a nightmare."

She appeared wistful as she looked up at him. "After everything you and all of us have been through... that's saying a lot."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sara O'Neill stood in the doorway as, for what seemed like the millionth time, Jack packed a bag. Ordinarily, she wouldn't have paid it any mind, but since coming to Colorado Springs for a fortnight, she had barely seen him properly. He had always found some excuse to go to NORAD at Cheyenne Mountain. She knew the nature of his job was classified, but she had to wonder just what was actually work and what was just him having a mid-life crisis and cruising around town with a college girl.

She mentally shook her head; she shouldn't have been thinking like that, but it was hard not to when she hadn't seen hide nor hair of her soon-to-be-again husband for more than a week at a time. There was always something he had to do, even when they were on vacation in Minnesota. It was worse than before. Before, the Jack O'Neill that she knew – or at least thought that she knew – would always switch off his phone when they went to their cabin, let alone bring a laptop. Now, it was as though he had to know what his old combat team were doing at all times. If she hadn't known that Sam was engaged to Daniel, and that Vala was married to Cam, she would suspect a few things.

But then Jack always seemed particularly close to both Daniel and Murray...

What was she doing? She had no solid proof – no text messages or phone records. Suffice to say, there were very few times when she was allowed anywhere near his phone or laptop. She sighed. Was this it? Was this how married life would be for her now? She had hoped that they could pick up from where they had left off – both of them older and hopefully a little wiser. But doubts crept in. She should be his equal; not part of his entourage.

It was the twenty-first century, for crying out loud.

As though sensing the turn her thoughts had taken, Jack glanced over his shoulder at her. He tossed some more things into his bag. He then turned and sat down on the bed, facing her as she still stood in the doorway. He said,

"Sara, I know you're pissed at me – there's no point hiding."

She retorted, "Speaking of hiding, you expect me to marry you again and I have no idea what you do."

He sighed and dropped his head. He looked up at her once again and said carefully, "Sara, we've been over this. I can't. You're better off not knowing. It's safer that way."

"Safer for whom? You and the soldiers you're too old to go on missions with?"

Jack wearily got to his feet. He turned away from her. "For cryin' out loud, Sara!" He tried to stop himself from shouting but only barely managed to do so. He said, "There are things I can't tell you. Okay? I wish I could, but I can't." He shrugged as he forced himself to calm down. "Look, I know that isn't enough for you, and in a way, I'm tickled pink that the gal I'm marrying again doesn't fall for stuff easily."

He looked at her, and Sara was taken aback to see the unending regret in his eyes. He said, "Look, one day, I'll tell you; I promise. I know I've put you through the ringer more times than I can count... but what I do is important."

Sara folded her arms across her chest. She said angrily, "More than me?"

He sighed and looked at his feet. He said quietly, "For a long time, yes." He looked up at her once more, realising that she was very close to walking out. "Hey! At least let me finish before you go crying at Daniel's again."

"Go screw yourself."

He tiredly rubbed his face with his hands. He said, "Sara. I can't do this alone any more. I'm going to be retiring soon after this mission. We can settle in Minnesota, or back in Chicago... we can do anything."

"But you're always going to want to stay in contact with your old team."

Jack looked at her openly for the first time in a very long time. He said bluntly, "They're the only family I've known for the past twelve years. If you'd seen the things that we went through together, you'd understand."

Sara looked down and she caught sight of the rock on her finger. She said wistfully, "I don't know any more, Jack. I don't know whether I can keep this up while you disappear off everywhere. We used to hang out a lot more before. Why is it so hard for you to understand that I actually do want some time with you?"

He got to his feet and slowly walked towards her. He put his hands on her shoulders and planted a kiss on her forehead. He gazed deeply into her clear grey eyes. He said, "After this mission, you can do whatever the hell you want with me."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam lie on his side as he faced a sleeping Vala. His bare stomach was touching hers, and he smiled as he touched the first outward signs of the life growing inside of her. He then grinned as a sense of satisfaction washed over him, and not for the first time. He had helped make their unborn child. There were times such as this where he wanted to hang a sign on her swollen abdomen which read, 'I made this'. He wondered whether it was natural or a sign of dementia to actually seriously consider doing that.

He smoothed Vala's long dark hair, his hand going to her shoulder. He felt complete. He had finally done everything that his parents had expected of him: he had gone far in the Air Force – further than they actually knew. He had married one hell of a woman, and they were expecting their first child together.

So this is what it feels like to fulfil your dreams, he thought. It wasn't as boring as he imagined it to be; far from it. He was living his dreams. Four years ago, he could never have imagined doing anything that he was doing right now. Back then, it was as though his life had been over, but then SG-1 had proven, like it had repeatedly since then, to be his lifeline.

Even a year ago when he had been heavily injured after fighting a Replicator version of Agent Merek, he hadn't lost hope like he had back then. That experience had taught him that life was his for the taking; that he could actually be whatever he wanted to be – something which he had stopped believing when he had become a man.

He could have remained there forever. There he was, a member of Earth's foremost planetary defence team, with his wife in his arms, and their unborn child between them. He gently kissed her as he slowly sobered from his glee.

While he felt as though he could shout from mountaintops, Vala had the real work to do. He didn't envy her on that account, but he felt bad about it all the same. She was struggling to cope with the burdens that pregnancy had placed on her body. The emotional side of things were too harrowing to think of considering the nature of her previous pregnancy.

For the first time that he could remember clearly, he wished that he could know how she was feeling. It felt wrong to be in the role of his wife's mental support when he couldn't imagine half the things going through her head. All he could do, he reasoned, was to be there for her as much as possible. While he didn't like the idea of her being allowed to join them on their upcoming mission, he knew that she needed it. It was closure for her; for all of them.

She murmured something and then shifted in her sleep. He kissed her again and then put an arm around her as he held her to his chest. He couldn't help smiling again when she seemed to settle against his chest, as though she knew his body well in her sleep. Whenever he had doubts about how she felt about him, it was moments like that that wiped all traces of doubt from his mind.

They were going to be alright, he thought. He just had to keep a hold of things.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Teal'c sat alone in the Commissary. He felt left out as the rest of his friends had places to go; people to be with, while he had to remain at the SGC. However, he had missed this place when he had been on Hak'tyl and Dakara. Stargate Command had been home for him; the first place to – eventually – welcome him when he had turned his back on, and deserted a false god.

But coming back reminded him how good it had been to be away. In years past, there had always been someone to talk to or to perform kel-no-reem with. Now, everyone had their own lives to lead. He was happy for his friends; they deserved to find great happiness after fighting and working for so long.

He smiled slightly as his thoughts turned to Daniel. The smile vanished when he recalled the time they had all been stranded aboard the Odyssey for fifty years. Only he remembered that time now as he, strictly speaking, had been the only one to live it; the others being younger versions of the SG-1 he had grown old with. Both Daniel and Vala had contracted a mutated form of the Asgard virus and had lost all memory of their respective relationships with Sam and Cam.

It had been a great source of internal pain for Teal'c to watch his long-standing friend change into someone he barely recognised. That time aboard the ship had been painful for at least three members of SG-1, with seemingly Daniel and Vala finding solace in one another.

On their return to Earth, Teal'c's pain manifested itself in anger. In an uncharacteristic move, he had sprayed graffiti on Daniel's office wall. He didn't know what else to do, and, to be fair, those events hadn't happened to them. But it was the only way to partially relieve himself of the burden he continued to carry since that mission. He would continue to remain quiet about that time because his friends were much happier now than they had been then.

As he mused on the nature of happiness, his thoughts turned to Ish'ta. His friends on Earth could not understand the relationship between him and her. It wasn't as simple as falling in love and getting married. It had never been that simple with Drey'auc. In Jaffa culture, there were a great many feats that a man must achieve; a great many dangers he must face before he can even begin to think of being betrothed to his beloved.

Earth courtships seemed too easily made, and just as easily broken.

He had grown up with the belief that courtship had to be earned. Even after all the years that had gone by, this belief was one of only a few to remain unshaken. Truth be told, now, after all the time that had gone, there were few things he could do to impress Ish'ta now. However, because of his position as the unofficial leader of the Free Jaffa, and her position as the leader of the Hak'tyl, they were under pressure to adhere to Jaffa culture completely.

He wasn't sure he could do it any more. He loved Ish'ta greatly, but there was nothing that he could do. He had no more mountains to climb, nor oceans to swim. As far as he was concerned, the rituals were pretty much obsolete to him; they were beneath him almost. He was an old man, and they were designed for boys. True, both he, and no doubt Bra'tac too, would excel at the challenges; they just seemed unsightly and undignified for an old man.

Another element of Jaffa culture that Teal'c still adhered to was respecting his elders; even if those elders happened to include himself. He wasn't going to start dishonouring his culture and people now.

Teal'c looked up on hearing a noise and he turned to see General Landry emerge from the shadows. Teal'c nodded, and said, "GeneralLandry."

Landry nodded and smiled a little. "Teal'c." He put a chess set down on the table and then sat down. He looked at Teal'c and said, "Burning the midnight oil again?"

Both he and Teal'c assembled the pieces on the board. Teal'c replied drily, "I am not involved in the combustion of oil." Teal'c eyed Landry with mild curiosity. "Is your wife not expecting you at home?"

Landry tried to appear casual. He said, "Oh, you know what women are like." He fiddled with a piece. "You try to do something nice for them and they bring up the past."

Teal'c nodded slowly. With a mutual understanding between them, the two men began the game in silence.


	4. Chapter 4

Cam entered Sam's lab, finding an uncomfortable looking Vala perched on a stool. Both Mitchells were dressed in desert camouflage uniforms ready for SG-1's impending departure for the Tok'ra homeworld. He was already worried about her health and her state of mind, but her recent introversion hadn't helped matters. He immediately went to her side and asked,

"Hey, you okay?"

He smoothed her hair as she wearily rested her head against his stomach. Vala said, "Yeah." She glanced up at him. "How come we're not meeting in Daniel's office? That place is a lot more interesting."

He continued to smooth her hair as he looked down at her in concern. He said, "Well, you don't have to be here. Jackson and Sam should be on their way, so he won't catch you reading in his office if you go now. And besides, you know what I'm gonna tell the band."

Vala got to her feet and was about to leave, but he stopped her. She didn't turn around so he went in front of her. He touched her cheek affectionately. He said quietly, "Look, Vala, I know this is going to be hard for you... especially with the baby. If you don't want to go, it's okay. You can stay here 'til we get back, and I _promise_ that I'll take you somewhere nice."

She looked down but he didn't miss the barely concealed anguish on her face. She shook her head but didn't look at him. She said, "I have be there." She then left, saying quietly, "I'll see you in the gateroom."

Cam let her go, knowing she had to deal with her feelings in her own way. His back to the door, he rubbed his face with his hands and groaned. The upcoming extraction of Ba'al's symbiote was going to be the first extraction he had ever attended. He was hoping, albeit in vain, that it would be as straightforward as his two-hundredth trip through a Stargate. Of course, there would be no cake or balloons this time, and this time, he had to deal with the emotional fallout of what his wife had gone through in recent years.

"Bad time?"

Cam spun around to see Daniel and Sam in the doorway, the two soon joined by Teal'c. They entered the room, perching on various stools or tables. When they settled down, they all looked at him expectantly.

Cam said in reply to Daniel, "Always a bad time."

Sam moved a pile of papers to one side. She then said, "Why can't we meet in your office?"

Daniel added facetiously, "You do know you have one, don't you?"

Teal'c remarked dryly, "ColonelMitchell is still finding his way around Cheyenne Mountain. Perhaps it would be wise to issue him with a map."

The three original members of SG-1 exchanged a series of amused smirks. They then tried hard to be casual when Cam took to glaring at them. He remarked heatedly, "Hey! The newbie shit is old."

Feigning surprise, Daniel raised his eyebrows. He looked at Sam and then at Teal'c. He said, "Wow, bad language while on duty. I think he's trying to out-do Jack. Unless you're going to get stoned on some alien plant and streak through the base, you won't even measure up halfway."

Sam snickered quietly as Teal'c looked mildly amused. Cam glared at them again. He then appeared surprised. He said, "_That_ actually happened? I thought those were just stories to faze the new guy."

Sam laughed, embarrassed. She said, "Oh yeah... while singing folk songs. I'm sure you could find surveillance footage somewhere if you're curious enough."

Daniel remarked, "You could also see if he has the same mole on his..."

Sam and Teal'c both started laughing, the sound of the latter's laughter startling Cam. Cam glared harder at Daniel. He then said, "I've called you all here for a reason. Standing order."

His team-mates looked confused and then sceptical. As Sam frowned, Daniel appeared snippy. The archaeologist raised his hand, and said, "Uh, where's Vala? She's still a part of SG-1 and the memo explicitly said all of us. Just because she's your wife now doesn't mean she's exempt, otherwise we'll all get ideas."

Sam covered her sudden laugh with a cough. Cam blinked slowly and said, "Jackson, if you want me, just say so." The Colonel grew serious as he said, "Okay, gang. Standing order."

Daniel piped up once again, "We know what our standing orders are."

Cam resumed glaring at him coldly. He said, "I know what our standing orders are too. I said 'standing order'... whole other ball game in this context."

"Oh, well, if you're going to bring a ball game into it..."

"Shut up, Jackson."

Cam pointed at Daniel and Sam. "Seeing as Thing One and Thing Two can't seem to get enough of each other, y'all are gonna be standing in a certain order."

Daniel raised his hand again, but Cam ignored him. The Colonel continued, "The order will go, left to right, O'Neill, Carter, myself, T, Jackson, and then my l'il lady. The sequence has been designed to limit hanky-panky and is also rank order. Y'all are gonna have plenty time for hanky-panky after."

Daniel punched the air as though he was disappointed. He then asked, "Where is Jack?"

"No idea. He's wandering around somewhere." Cam appeared momentarily apologetic. "Hey, I hate to obsess about this, but I just want this to go smoothly."

Sam nodded sympathetically. She said, "We understand... it must be hard having to worry about Vala now of all times. How is she?"

"She's down about it, but she's determined to go."

Daniel looked at Cam challengingly. He said suddenly, "I'm outranked by Teal'c?"

Teal'c regarded Daniel sceptically as Sam hid a smile. Cam said reprovingly, "Look, I've given this a lot of thought. Don't rain on it because you can't hold your gal's hand. T has a lot more battle experience than you do."

Teal'c said, feigning innocence, "Also, more than one person is required between yourself and ColonelCarter to maintain proper decorum."

Teal'c then took to quietly imposing on Daniel's personal space. The archaeologist took one look at him and said, "You can't faze me, Teal'c. I've known you for too long."

Daniel was about to say something to Cam, but was left floundering by what Teal'c did next. The Jaffa, a tad disgruntled by Daniel's remark, swiftly removed Daniel's glasses before going back to where he had initially been standing. While Cam and Sam hid smiles, Daniel tried hard to scowl at a smirking Teal'c, but ended up squinting.

Cam ended up laughing. He pointed at Daniel, and said, "Now that's what I'm talkin' about! 'bout time you got what's coming to you." Cam smiled a little. "I totally dig this whole karma thing now. Cassie's gonna be happy."

Sam raised her eyebrows as she tried not to laugh. She said, "She's happy to see you anyway."

Cam glared at her coldly. "Aw, not that whole thing again..."

"I wouldn't joke about it if it wasn't true... somewhat."

Daniel folded his arms across his chest and looked at Cam teasingly. The archaeologist said, "Wow, the fight between your wife and Cassie is going to be worth watching."

Daniel frowned when he realised that Cam was glancing at Sam and then back at him repeatedly. Daniel then appeared chastised when he realised further that Sam was glaring at him in annoyance. Cam laughed, remarking,

"Boy, two-zero to karma." He looked around at his team. "Come on, band, let's get this show on the road. If you're doing not anything, y'all are welcome to ours for a little SG-shindig."

Daniel quietly brooded as he occasionally glanced at Sam. Teal'c returned the archaeologist's glasses. Sam said with a smile, "We'd love to."

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about... again."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Vala quite liked being a fully-fledged member of SG-1. It had a lot of perks, including perks which she wouldn't have considered perks a long time ago. Also, being married to one of the senior officers on the team also added to the perks. She was quite close to having the SFs around the base eating out of her hand.

She cleared her throat as she left Daniel's office, as though embarrassed by some thought. Refraining from blatantly stealing things had also helped her image on-base. Of course, she still stole now and then, but it was necessary to keep her skills fresh. She had worked hard to get to where she had been before she had come to Earth; it would be a waste to lose those unique talents of hers.

Vala made her way to one of the base armouries. There was the _perfect_ travelling accessory she had spotted there not long ago. A nice big gun that Earth had had on permanent loan from the Tok'ra. You could never be too sure with the Goa'uld. It wasn't likely that Ba'al wouldn't go down without a fight, and she planned on being ready for it. He wasn't going to drag her back to hell again. She had worked hard to redeem herself for all those terrible years, and to start a new life... she couldn't relive it all again; her nightmares were bad enough.

She stopped in front of the door of the armoury. Between her and her insurance policy was a very heavy door and a security lock. Vala clicked her fingers and grinned impishly. She wasn't sure how or why Cameron underestimated her after all this time. She tapped in a code that she had seen him enter many times before. Despite her knowing the code, it was still a scary enterprise – sooner or later, Cameron would realise that she wasn't in Daniel's office any more and he would track her down. She had to get the gun into the gateroom – he wouldn't be likely to take it from her then.

She appeared cautious as the door unlocked and she peered inside. She then quickly crept into the room, her eyes everywhere. She became convinced once again that taking the weapon would be instrumental to Ba'al's extraction ceremony; as though the whole of time and space depended on it.

Vala frowned as she stood alone in the metal vault. _Must be the hormones_, she thought. However, she couldn't shake the feeling that something big was about to happen.


	5. Chapter 5

Reunited with their former team lead, SG-1 stood in a chamber on the Tok'ra home world. They stood in the order which Cam had suggested, and the six of them periodically yawned and discreetly stretched as they fought to stay awake and/or alert during the proceedings. A group of Tok'ra officials wearing hooded robes were singing – they had been for so long that the hours seemed to merge into one another and seem like an endless blur of boredom for the team.

Around the room were Tok'ra, and in the space above the planet were many Jaffa and Tok'ra vessels who were standing guard over the planet. Even the Tok'ra in the chamber were armed, and SG-1 suspected that the choir of officials were heavily armed too. At the other end of the chamber was Ba'al in a stasis chamber. The former System Lord had been officially handed over to the Tok'ra by Jack earlier, who had brought Ba'al, under heavy guard, from the Alpha site.

Despite the significance of the ceremony, the team were beginning to regret coming. When Jack had exclaimed his displeasure for the countless time within just as many hours, Daniel was finally able to say something helpful. He said,

"It's almost over."

When they all looked at him questioningly, Daniel wondered quietly how no-one had learned more than rudimentary Goa'uld during their time on SG-1. He had been fully aware of what was happening in the ceremony, which was almost as painful as not knowing. Someone as old as Ba'al, who had done the things he had done, had crimes going back millennia, and of course, he thought, the Tok'ra felt the need to recite each and every one.

Ba'al was in stasis – it wasn't as though he was going to hear them. Even if he could, it wasn't likely that he'd feel any remorse. He, or rather _it_ was a Goa'uld after all.

Daniel looked at the friends of his that stood to his right. He was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home with his fiancée. He said, "The crimes they're listing are starting to sound familiar."

Jack exclaimed wearily, "_Crimes_? That's what they've been crooning about for the last three hours? God, you know... if you have these guys for your wedding, I'm not coming."

Daniel regarded him blankly as Sam hid a smile. Vala remarked aloud, "Wouldn't that mean you not turning up to your own wedding?"

Jack shot her a look as Teal'c smirked for the briefest of moments. Cam cleared his throat, and said, "Quite the ditty, ain't it?"

Vala sighed as her gaze moved back to where Ba'al was being held in stasis at the other end of the chamber from them. Once again, she felt a pang of guilt. She knew more than most that it was the creature inside him that was to blame for everything that he had done. _He_, like she had been while host to Qetesh, had been forced to watch helplessly as Ba'al committed the long list of crimes that the Tok'ra were singing about, and those that they didn't know about. Now the host was forced to listen to all the accusations and he wasn't able to vindicate himself. What would happen to the man when they removed the symbiote? Perhaps Cameron would let her stay behind to help him.

A troubled Vala said, "It's not at all fair to the host, anyway."

Daniel frowned a little as he remembered Apophis. He turned to her and replied, "Vala, you don't really think there's any hope for the…" He paused, realising just why she was feeling sorry for Ba'al's host. "I mean, you were host to Qetesh for a relatively short period of time. Ba'al's been inhabiting this guy for over two thousand years!"

Vala didn't answer. Instead, she watched Ba'al's host, knowing just how he was going to feel when he was freed. Hopefully this time, the Tok'ra would take him in and support him, and not leave him to be on the run like she had been.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It had happened so quickly. One minute, Ba'al had been taunting them in his usual way before he was about to undergo the extraction, and then all hell had broken loose. No-one had suspected anything when Vala had disappeared. Cam had pretty much expected her to get upset and he was about to go after her. But then Teal'c had disappeared right in front of them. _That_ definitely wasn't a trip to the bathroom.

All around the room, Tok'ra began to disappear, quite literally into thin air as everyone else looked on in shock. They had to get out of there. O'Neill rushed at Ba'al, knowing that the former System Lord had had something to do with it. People didn't tend to disappear into thin air like that.

And then it happened. As more people disappeared, Cam watched it happen in slow motion. Ba'al freed himself from his bindings. He then grabbed the needle used for the extraction process, and stabbed O'Neill straight into the heart. Cam had raised his P-90 without even realising he had done it, and then next thing he knew, O'Neill was lying on the floor in really bad shape. Ba'al was lying nearby riddled with bullets.

They had to leave – they had little time if they were going to get out of there in one piece. Cam forced his growing panic down as his military training took over and he took charge of the situation. Jackson and Sam were kneeling at O'Neill's side, looking helpless. It was clear the old guy wasn't going to make it, but the time for mourning wasn't now. When O'Neill weakly ordered them to go to the Stargate, Cam did the previously unthinkable – he left someone behind.

He hauled Jackson to his feet, and shouted at Sam to get up. When she didn't respond, he grabbed her. They had to get out before they shared the same fate as their team-mates and the Tok'ra. They had to get help.

Soon, the remaining members of SG-1 were sprinting to the Stargate. Cam stumbled on the way, briefly feeling a very strange feeling as though he himself was disappearing. He shook it off when Sam and Jackson grabbed him, and they continued to run. As they ran, buildings vanished around them.

When they reached the Stargate, buildings were still disappearing. Cam kept watch as Jackson dialled the 'gate. The buildings continued to vanish, leaving a barren and desolate landscape. If they weren't quick enough, the Stargate could disappear too. He yelled,

"Jackson!"

Jackson had finished dialling the 'gate, and Cam yelled, "Move!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

They had expected to see General Landry and Stargate Command. Instead, they found themselves in what appeared to be a storage freezer of some kind. A very big and poorly regulated storage freezer. When the 'gate shut down, all fell into darkness, and Sam found herself dwelling on what had just happened. Somehow, she switched on the light on her P-90 at roughly the same time as Cam did. The little flashlights illuminated their icy surroundings.

All she was aware of was that it was quite cold and that they weren't where they were supposed to be. She tried not to cry. What would she tell Sara if they got home? How would she and Daniel go ahead with the wedding while Sara wore mourning clothes instead of her wedding gown? They couldn't; they just couldn't. The double wedding had been Jack's idea. How could they do it without him?

Sam knew that Cam and Daniel were speaking but she didn't process their words. All she could see in her mind's eye was Jack dying on the floor of the Tok'ra chamber. She sniffed. He was gone. She had thought that it would be a while yet before members of her team died permanently; she hadn't expected it to happen so soon; not now.

She had been standing next to him. She should have grabbed him. She should have stopped him from rushing at Ba'al. It wasn't like the old days; he had something to live for now. She should have reminded him of that.

Her mind was racked with so many different feelings: guilt, grief, shock. She had just witnessed the death of her first commanding officer on SG-1.

Just as she was about to fall over the edge, she slowly became aware of Cam speaking to her. She wasn't sure what he said, but she could hazard a guess. She murmured, "I don't know."

She became increasingly aware that he was walking towards her. However, she found herself unable to move or to react to his presence. Her mind had gone blank – what the hell was she supposed to be doing?

Cam said, "Look, I know what happened back there, but we need you in the here and now. Wherever or whenever that is."

If she had been in a better state of mind, she would have thrown a biting retort back at him. He had effectively implied that she had let herself get emotionally compromised while on a mission. That had always been a big no-no; it had always been way beyond just 'no-no'. But it brought her out of her thoughts. They were in trouble and Cam and Daniel needed her to tell them what was what.

For a moment, Sam regretted once again that she had been reassigned back to SG-1. She didn't need to be reminded of her friends' recklessness in the face of adversity. She wanted to make sure that Daniel was all right, but then she had already allowed her emotions to take control once.

She sighed, realising just how cold it was and how cold it seemed to be getting. She pulled out a device from her combat vest and almost froze again on seeing the readings. Sam said, "Okay. Looks like the active gate warmed things up for a bit."

Daniel sounded incredulous as he said, "Warmed things up?"

She felt an overwhelming surge of relief. He was okay. He had to be if he was being sarcastic. She glanced at him, and said, "Yeah, because the temperature's falling again. It's just gone past minus 20."

She let out a long breath when she heard Cam speak. He said, "Okay, that's chilly. Let's, uh, not just stand around."

As they began to explore the area, she wondered how Cam could be so calm. She still had Daniel and she was a mess. Cam, on the other hand, had lost his pregnant wife. They had also lost Jack and Teal'c. How was he being so professional?

_Because being in charge is the one thing keeping him sane._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The remaining members of SG-1 came sliding down a patch of ice as they escaped from the ship. Each of them were dressed in fur-lined brown coats, trousers and boots which they had found. They slid down one-by-one. Because of the treacherous weather conditions, there was no time for the person before to move out of the way. This resulted in Sam slamming right into Cam. Luckily, because of the conditions, they didn't feel much pain. They both got up to await Daniel, both of them perturbed that he hadn't slammed into Sam already, although a small part of her was relieved as she gradually felt sore from impacting into Cam previously.

In the howling Arctic winds, they tried to climb up to get him. Perhaps he was stuck.

Suddenly there was a shout, and Daniel came sliding down towards them. It soon became apparent that there was something wrong. However, the three of them watched as the ship they had just been on, appeared to break into two before sinking into the freezing ocean. Daniel felt a pang of regret as he looked back at his team-mates, and then he remembered why he had taken so long to get out of the ship.

He grimaced in pain and at the biting cold. He shouted over the howling wind, "The ship was warmer!"

Mitchell retorted, "You want to go back?"

There was a thought. At least they would have been out of the wind, if only considerably wet... and there was a choice of either dying of hypothermia or drowning, or both. Out here, there was only one choice. A predictable death wasn't something that Daniel had been hoping for; not after all the things he had done in his life.

Daniel replied, "No, I'm good."

Right now his leg was laying him out. Perhaps if he stayed quiet, the other two wouldn't notice. They all had enough to deal with without having to worry about the only civilian at the SGC to have had injuries and abductions rivalling those of even the military members, in frequency as well as severity. He didn't want to even think about the times his friends suspected that he might be dead but didn't want to give up for old time's sake.

Daniel's hopes vanished when Sam realised that there was something wrong with him. For a brief moment, he wished that he hadn't fallen for someone so observant. Well, at least he could rub his leg without worrying about arousing suspicion – Mitchell and Sam were both staring at him now.

He felt guilty again. He had taken his glasses off so they wouldn't get damaged on the fall down. But he didn't need them to know that Sam was upset and that Mitchell was barely holding onto the situation. Sam definitely sounded upset when she shouted his name. Daniel tried to be reassuring as he explained what had happened.

"I know. Back on the ship, my foot went through the deck where... where water was coming in. It froze the laces on my boots. I couldn't get it off."

He could hear the strain and disappointment in Mitchell's voice. This was already a mess without him getting injured and slowing them down. Mitchell said, "Jackson, what'd you want to go and do that for?"

Sam tried to help him up, but he knew that it was no use. He would just slow them down. Daniel groaned as the pain became too much to bear. He said,

"No, I can't feel a thing below my knee. I don't think I'm going anywhere."

They still wouldn't leave him. He was a firm believer in not leaving people behind, but it was important here that they went on alone. They were stranded in the middle of nowhere. It may as well have been an ice planet for all he cared.

He said, "Look, I'm being selfish here. Our only chance is for you guys to get within radio range of some kind of help. The sooner you go, the sooner you can send help back for me."

They were still reluctant to leave him. They knew the odds of them returning in time just as much as he did. He still felt the need to be reassuring though – to spur them on. That's what Jack would have done. He shouted,

"Go! Don't waste time! Once that sun rises, it's gonna warm right up."

Who was he kidding? He would be lucky if he lasted for the next hour. His leg felt as though it was severing itself. So much for numbness; he was in agony.

It seemed to be a good enough for Cam; he handed Daniel a torch. Sam stared at Daniel desolately. She couldn't bear to leave him – not in his condition, but her rationality kicked in and she knew that it was necessary. It didn't make it hurt any less. She might never see him again. She said his name and was willing herself to walk away without letting herself getting even more emotionally compromised.

She frowned suddenly when she felt Cam nudging her. She looked at her fellow Colonel to see that he was inclining his head towards where Daniel was. Cam said, "Hug him."

The unsaid 'you might never see him again' was loud and clear. He had lost Vala and she could quite possibly lose Daniel. Sam crouched by Daniel's side, trying to be strong for him. He looked at her and she looked right back at him. She held his face in her hands as she slowly stroked his cheeks with her thumbs. Even through her gloves she could feel that his skin was very cold.

She then hugged him tightly, and whispered in his ear, "I love you."

Sam quickly got to her feet; she would cry if she stayed there longer. She stared at Daniel sadly, trying to make as many memories as possible. He stared back at her with as much sadness, and he nodded.

He then said, "Bye."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam and Sam trudged across the endless whiteness, countless units of time dragging on as much as the ice was. The sun was slowly rising behind them, which warmed things up a tiny amount; nowhere near enough for them to feel the need to shed layers. Neither of them would have minded having more layers.

They had run out of conversation, and it had become quite clear that Cam expected her to undo this. Undo what, precisely? They didn't even know how far Ba'al had got – what he had done since apparently shifting the timeline. Despite the pain in his leg from his titanium pin, and despite everything that had happened, Cam was still up. He was still trying to keep her spirits up. She cringed a little as she recalled him singing for a while.

Sam glanced at him. She said, "How are you still going on?"

Cam glanced back at her. He stared ahead, and said, "What, so because I lost my wife and some of my friends, I've got to be a bawling wreck right now?" He glanced at her again and his expression softened. "Carter, I can be all that and more if you want. Right now, however, this is still a mission. I have to keep going."

"No you don't."

"That's quitter talk... again." He slowed his pace a little when Sam appeared to be struggling. He said, "Look, I keep going then I believe I can help them. If I just sit down and give up, then I might as well be dead." He looked at her. "I worked hard to get onto SG-1 – to work with you guys. If I hadn't, I'd probably be in a wheelchair right about now, Irishing everything up."

Sam shuddered as she recalled meeting his counterpart in an alternate universe. Cam would never know just how close to the truth he was just then, and she would never tell him. She coughed, and said, "But it's okay to grieve. We never trained for this."

"Grieving means acceptance. I can't accept that Vala's gone. I can't accept that T and O'Neill are gone... and I sure as hell am not accepting that we won't go back for Jackson." His expression became hard again; almost harsh as he tried not to think about the pain in his leg. Cam said, "You see, you gotta think of the positive."

Sam almost choked. She said, "_Positive_? Cam, you may not have noticed but..."

Cam turned to look at her sharply. He said, "Hey, we're still alive. Something must have gone wrong with Ba'al's plan. Wherever T and Vala are, we're their only hope. We're also Jackson's only hope. We have a responsibility to them to carry on. Been plenty of times when the odds have been stacked up against us and we've come out on top."

"I wish I could be as positive as you." Sam sighed. "We're freezing cold in the Arctic and we might never be rescued... and yet you still think we have a chance."

He looked out across the ice for the countless time. As had become painfully usual, he didn't see anything. He said, "It's all I have, Sam. Plus, the further we get, the more likely it is we'll come into range of _something_..."


	6. Chapter 6

Daniel had expected to be lost in his thoughts while hypothermia set in. However, not long after Sam and Mitchell had gone to get help, there was a loud cracking noise. He thought that perhaps the ship was still sinking or that the ice beneath him was giving way. He tried in vain to scramble to safety, and then he loudly swore at his frostbitten leg for being so uncooperative.

He then took a deep breath as the cracking noise continued. Maybe he was hallucinating. Hallucinating or not, he wasn't going to get out of there alive, so there was no point in trying to move. He sat back, his heart still pounding in his chest, as he watched something huge and black emerge through the ice not far from him. The ice around him shook with increasing frequency and he had to shield himself from some loose ice which promptly fell down over him.

That was some hallucination.

He wondered what would happen if he shined his torch in that direction. Maybe the big black blurry thing would disappear. He slowly reached for his torch to test his theory when something moved. There were people coming out of the big black thing. It must be a submarine. He tried to shout but his voice, like his leg, failed him. He coughed and then tried again.

"Hello! Over here!"

That seemed to do the trick. The people came running towards him. Well, if he was going to hallucinate, then at least he would be having company.

The next thing that he knew, he was being stretchered towards the submarine. Inside the submarine it was very warm, compared to the conditions he had been for who-knows-however-long. So warm that he soon became sleepy. He tried to stay awake when the submarine's doctor proceeded to examine him.

During a particularly lucid moment, Daniel wondered why he was surrounded by members of the US Navy. That was the last thing he clearly remembered for a while.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Jack was still alive. Granted, he had referred to her as a 'dead astronaut', and he hadn't appeared to recognise Cam... but it was so good to see him again. For some reason, Sam felt giddy. Just minutes previously, she had been ready to give up. There had been no hope and she couldn't believe just how positive Cam had remained.

Well, whatever this universe or timeline, it was always nice to be not on the brink of death for once. She glanced around herself shyly as she and Cam were escorted somewhere by a navy officer. She recognised the sub – it had been used by the SGC on many occasions for training exercises for new recruits.

She looked at Cam. He recognised it too but he didn't say anything. For the first time since leaving Daniel behind, he looked as though as he was lost. She sighed silently. She was tired and she hoped that they could rest somewhere. She soon felt a great sadness. Daniel was still out there. What were the chances of him being found? The batteries in her scanning device had long been depleted; she couldn't remember the co-ordinates.

He wouldn't have lasted long in those conditions. Her calm façade was about to crumble when she felt a hand hold hers. She looked up at Cam who looked at her meaningfully, and she nodded as she once more looked at where they were headed. She couldn't give up hope; not after all these years. If worst came to the worst, they could hijack the sub and go back for him. These people didn't really know who they were.

The two air force officers shed the foul weather gear that they had donned back on the ship. They were then escorted into a ward room. Sam wondered briefly why Cam very briefly hesitated before walking in. She soon found out why. She thought she was hallucinating. It couldn't be.

But Cam had seen him too.

Sam exclaimed in relief, "Daniel!"

She wanted to hug him but there was a navy doctor present as well as what appeared to be security, and she knew it wouldn't be appropriate. They were still technically on a mission, even if the mission had featured a huge change of timeline. As it was, she felt mildly guilty for touching his arm when she and Cam got to the other side of his bed. A small part of her reminded her that she was still only human.

It was only then that she realised that he was hooked up to an IV and appeared to have been doped. He wasn't sure whether what he was seeing was real, and she was sharply reminded of his stories of when he had been invisible so many years ago and was only visible to his grandfather. She was also reminded of when he had been doped up aboard the Odyssey when they had acquired the Ark.

She couldn't believe he was in front of her. He was alive... and typically, he was more concerned about her and Cam than he was about himself.

Her chest ached when he casually told them that he could lose his frostbitten leg. It was as though he didn't really care. The Daniel she knew would care to some extent about his own wellbeing, even if he did then deliberately jump into harm's way soon afterwards.

Once again she was full of regrets. She should have watched out for him instead of being distracted by her personal feelings. If only she had noticed that he had got his foot wet on the ship, then she would have been able to do something. She could at least have scolded him heavily – that would have been something rather than the nothing that she could do now.

But he was right in a way. At least he was still alive. She would rather have him with one leg than not at all. To be honest, she would rather that he had both his legs. Perhaps he too would agree when the drugs left his system. Whatever they had used seemed stronger than whatever the medical teams at the SGC and aboard the Odyssey used.

She was contemplating just leaning over to kiss him on the forehead, to show him that she really did care. Being in the military and being married to a civilian, she was always very conscious about she came across to him, and in recent years, she had actively tried to soften that tough military image she had built up over the course of her career. He was understanding – more understanding than she could have ever hoped for, even from another soldier, but there were times where he needed comfort and she had felt unable to give it to him or was forced to delay it because of the protocol she felt herself bound by.

Just as she was about to turn thought into action, Jack came strolling in. She cleared her throat in a discreet signal to Daniel that there was someone else other than Cam and the security personnel present in case he forgot himself. Daniel followed her gaze and then stared in surprise as he looked up at the man whom he had watch die.

It was great to see him alive, even if things were different; even if he didn't seem to know any of them. It would be particularly hard for Daniel, she knew. The friendship that Daniel had with Jack often left Sam feeling envy at their deep-rooted bond. Sometimes, it was as though Jack had a part of Daniel which she could never have; a shared suffering. Of course, had General West let her go on the first Stargate mission all those years previously, perhaps she would be party to that unique bond shared by two of the most important men in her life.

Jack had been there for Daniel during times where Sam couldn't even begin to know how to support him. They had been there for each other and Sam, and by extension Cam, were keenly aware that even if Daniel wouldn't be visibly upset, he would be hurting inside. If only they had had the opportunity to tell him beforehand; to give him some warning of what was to come.

But truth be told, their whereabouts hadn't entirely sunk in.

So it was quite a surprise, to Sam at least, when Jack didn't recognise what was in the satellite picture that he was now demanding an explanation for. She had known him for twelve years; he had been her commanding officer for around eight of those years. While he did have a tendency to mispronounce things – mostly for comedic effect – she had a sneaking suspicion in recent years that he did actually understand the things she told him, to some extent at least.

When she expressed her disbelief at Jack not knowing that he had seen a top-view of the unstable energy vortex of an establishing wormhole, he insisted that since she was 'the astronaut', she should explain what it was. She didn't have to wait long for Daniel to look shocked – he hadn't been with them earlier when Jack had called her a 'dead astronaut'. Evidently, the drugs must be wearing off. She only hoped he wouldn't be in too much pain.

The idea of where they were being an alternate timeline really set in when Jack allowed her to finish an explanation. This wasn't her Jack, or _their_ Jack, for that matter.

Jack expressed disbelief though, but then he turned on Daniel when the archaeologist stuck up for her. It reminded of her of the stories Daniel had reluctantly told her of how Jack had been towards him during that first mission to Abydos. There were a great many times when the two of them argued, but they had always been able to resolve it somehow or give each other space, and then go out for steaks with the rest of the team or just themselves.

But with no precedence for friendship or a shared experiences or secrets, Jack was just a bully. In a way, it was understandable considering the circumstances, but it hurt nonetheless. Both she and Cam could only imagine what Daniel must have been feeling.

Daniel had almost had Jack slightly convinced, until he mentioned Charlie's death. Jack then lost his cool again and yelled at them. Sam caught Daniel's eye briefly – Charlie was still alive in this timeline. Even if the Stargate programme still existed, Jack would never have gone on that first mission had his son been alive. He wouldn't have had the suicidal tendencies that General West had seen as advantageous had that mission gone bust.

Jack stormed out, leaving the three members of SG-1 to exchange troubled looks. Cam remarked tiredly, "Yeah, that went well."

Daniel appeared dejected as he looked down at his hands. He glanced up at the IV and then back again. He said, "Yeah." He removed his glasses and then looked up at his team-mates. "So, I'm guessing then that this isn't Kansas?"

Sam bit her lip and shook her head. She glanced at Cam, and said, "We think this may be part of Ba'al's plan."

Daniel blinked and said, "We're alive."

Cam retorted coldly, "Yeah, we're thinking it went wrong."

"Obviously. So... what now?"

Sam sighed. She said, "Well, they don't believe us." She shrugged. "They'll probably interrogate us when we get back to the States. I mean, in a way, it's understandable; it's what we would have done back home."

Cam found a chair and sat down heavily. He said, "Doesn't mean it sucks any less." Seeing that Sam was still standing by Daniel's bedside, Cam leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Okay, I'm gonna take a li'l old nap here. If you're gonna make out, then at least keep the noise down."

Sam frowned, the astrophysicist mildly embarrassed. She said, "You don't have to do that, Cam."

"Hell, I don't have to do a lot of things, apparently."

She turned back to Daniel who was looking at her as though he had only just seen her. Before she could stop him, he moved up and then patted a spot on the bed, indicating for her to sit. As she sat down, her weariness caught up with her. She had forgotten how long they had been on the ice for. She was about to turn back to him when he shushed her and told her not to move. She appeared confused. However, confusion soon turned to concern when he put his arms around her and rested his head against her back.

Sam eventually persuaded him to let go and then she hugged him. She kissed his hair, and said, "I'm sorry."

Daniel looked at her dog tags, playing with them and her engagement ring occasionally. He glanced up at her in surprise, and said, "Why? You didn't do anything. From what you've said, it's Ba'al's fault."

She shook her head. "I should've been looking out for you on the Achilles."

Cam interjected, "That name still sounds familiar."

They glanced back at him to see that his eyes were still closed. Sam looked back at Daniel again and smoothed his hair. Appearing regretful, she continued, "If I hadn't been emotionally compromised by watching the General die... I would have realised there was something wrong and I could have done something."

He reached up to touch her cheek as he looked into her eyes. He said, "Not your fault. I should have said something. We were all pretty messed up." He gently pushed some of her hair back. He said, "So where do you think we're going?"

Sam replied with a shrug, "Well, seeing as Jack's still in the air force, then probably Elmendorf base in Alaska." She sighed. "I don't think there's an SGC here... or if there is, Jack doesn't know about it."

He looked past her at Cam who appeared to be asleep but who more than likely wasn't. Daniel's gaze dropped as he realised a few things. Noticing the downturn in his mood, Sam asked, "Daniel?"

He shook his head and said, "It's just hit me... Teal'c and Vala either don't exist or they never came to Earth." He looked at Cam again, concerned for his friend's wellbeing. "Mitchell..."

Cam kept his eyes closed as he said quietly, "Don't, Jackson. Don't say anything. We just have to stick it out 'til your gal finds a way to undo this."

Sam looked at Cam dejectedly. She said, "Cam, I wish you'd stop saying that. I don't know how to undo this." She turned away from Daniel, not wanting him to see her upset as she tried to keep a hold of her emotions. She said, "I can't do this. The last time we were in it _this_ deep, Teal'c tells me it took me fifty years to solve the problem."

Cam shrugged. "Well, you're just gonna have to get some help from someone. It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings... and I'm not hearing a fat lady, ergo we've still got a chance."

Daniel gently nudged her. He said, concerned, "We'll find a way, Sam. You're not on your own."

Sam fought with her emotions as she silently brooded. She wiped away a few stray tears when she felt Daniel's arms around her, as though he was grounding her during the ensuing storm. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes when she felt his fingers in her hair.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In the waiting room of a military hospital, Sam and Cam waited anxiously. The former remained standing albeit dejectedly as she leaned against a wall. The latter, however, paced the floor nervously, occasionally glancing at the door, waiting for a doctor to report back and tell them when they could see Jackson again.

He soon regretted his nervous pacing when he felt dizzy from the extra air he had breathed in to steady his rapidly fraying nerves. He looked at Sam, seeing that she was lost in her thoughts. She was probably still blaming herself. He had known her long enough to know that there was nothing he could do or say to cheer her up. To be honest, he didn't feel like cheering anyone up – half his band – including his wife – was missing, one of his band was having his leg removed, and they were stranded in some awful place.

He didn't think Sam could undo all of it. He had said it in some vain attempt to give her strength, and perhaps if he said it often enough, he might believe it too. He was adamant that this wasn't going to be SG-1's last adventure but he knew that it was only a matter of time. But he had to keep the faith – Vala would have, and Teal'c most definitely would have had their roles been reversed.

That thought gave him some comfort as he began to tell himself that they were going to change things back to how they were supposed to be. After all, this was still a mission, and as the official albeit unnecessary team leader, it was his responsibility to ensure that his team delivered, like they had countless times in the past.

He sighed as he dropped down into a seat. If this was a movie, he and Carter could break in and get Jackson out. But they were outgunned and outmanned with nowhere to go, and Jackson really did need the surgery. It had taken some convincing from Sam that Jackson wasn't being taken away for experimentation.

It was just as well they hadn't done a blood test on Sam, otherwise he and Jackson would most definitely have had to hatch a Star Trek-esque escape plan.

It was just one long nightmare that Cam hoped he would wake up from. He rubbed his head with his hands and looked at Sam. She must have been standing there for at least an hour. He said, "Sit down, Carter."

She appeared to give herself a shake when she heard his voice. She looked at him in confusion at first, but then she sat down. She said, worried, "I keep thinking how this is going to affect him. He's been through enough in his life."

"Haven't we all..." He picked up a magazine and then put it down again without reading it. He said, "Well, my grandma always said, 'Ain't no use crying over spilled milk' You've just got to mop it up and move on with your life."

"If we were back home, Vala could have used the healing device on him."

"Well..." Cam leaned back in his chair as he considered going to sleep again. He looked ahead coldly before looking at her. He said, "If we were back home, we wouldn't have been in the Arctic and Jackson wouldn't have got a leg-ful of frostbite."

Sam sighed as she watched him close his eyes and pretend to be asleep. He had come off much worse out of all of them – at least she knew where Daniel was. She asked hesitantly, "Have you thought about...?" She paused, unsure of how say what she was going to say without causing him even more pain than he must have been feeling. "Never mind."

Cam opened his eyes and looked at her. He leaned for so that his elbows were resting on his thighs, his hands underneath his chin. He said, "Sam, you might as well come out and say it. I have noticed that my wife's not here."

She appeared awkward, still not wanting to say it. Finally, she spoke again. "Have you thought about where she might be; what she might be doing right now?"

He looked straight ahead and spoke calmly, much to Sam's initial surprise and then worry. He said, "Yeah, I thought about it. She'd probably still be stealing things." He glanced at Sam. "Okay, she doesn't know that I know, but she still does steal things. I notice little things go missing suddenly, and then they reappear again." He sighed. "Sometimes I wonder whether she misses that time of her life and she's worried that she'll lose those skills she learned."

Sam quietly noticed that he had referred to Vala in the present tense. '_It's as though some part of him is determined that she's not out of reach. If only I could be as optimistic as he is_,' she thought.

Cam continued, "Damn, you know..." He looked at Sam again. "... she really got into reading. This past year she's been sneaking into Jackson's office. First off, I thought she was stealing from him." He smiled briefly as he looked away again. "The thought's crossed all our mind's at some point. I can see why she gets a kick out of annoying him. It's fun."

She laughed a little, and said, "God, try going home to someone who's been annoyed by you guys."

He laughed too, and then he sighed. "Yeah, I guess we're kinda childish, huh?" He smirked. "Well, you got the boy eating out of your hand – he doesn't get annoyed at you. You haven't learned how fun it is."

She looked at him meaningfully. "Oh, he's been pretty pissed at me sometimes. Try catching him on a day when he's worried about someone or something, or he's in a really bad mood. He holes himself up in his office at work or our bedroom and he won't speak to me for hours on end. If I'm lucky, he'll just throw sarcasm at me for ten minutes. There are times when I just want to knock him out."

He appeared surprised as he sat back in his chair again. He said, "Wow, you must have pissed him off something big. I piss the guy off, he throws his razor sharp wit at me. A lot more entertaining that pissing Teal'c off... lot less painful too."

Sam smiled a little as she looked down at the floor. Cam felt the need to change the subject, knowing that if they dwelled any more on their situation, they would, in all likelihood, go mad. He said brightly, "So anyway, Vala sneaks into Jackson's office. I sometimes have to drag her out. She loves his books."

Sam smiled again, this time with much more warmth and amusement. She glanced away from him briefly before replying, "He knows. That's why he's been keeping his office unlocked. He didn't want to say anything unless she got embarrassed and started acting out just to tick him off. He's also been sneaking in books from home. I made him promise not to give up the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood... I'd never forgive him if he'd lost that."

Cam appeared incredulous. He said, "What is it with you and the Ya-Ya's?"

She shrugged and smiled shyly. She said, "It's one of my favourite books. It's become even more of a favourite since Daniel and I got together because Connor McGill – the big love interest – reminds me of him."

He snorted but then tried to keep a straight face when she shot him a look. He said, "Didn't they turn it into a movie?"

She nodded. "Daniel got the DVD of it for my birthday a couple of years ago. I think it helped reading the book first 'cos even though the movie was different in many ways, it brought the book alive."

He was about to say something but stopped when he saw a doctor standing in the doorway, wearing surgical scrubs. Sam followed his gaze and she was on her feet and at the door before he could even stand up. They looked at the doctor anxiously, and he said,

"Mr Mitchell and Miss Carter, he's in post-op now. You can see him."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Sir, please don't do this."

It had gone from bad to worse. They were all lucky to have made it this far, and he considered himself lucky to be alive at all. There wasn't time to mourn the loss of his limb; something which had worked just fine for all of forty-three years. There just wasn't time. There was pressure – plenty of it, but time had fled from them.

They had each requested to talk to General Landry. Maybe he'd understand; maybe he'd be the General Landry that they knew. What Daniel forgot – and what his friends did too – was that even their General Landry wasn't a saint. Without the Stargate programme, the man was grumpy and unwilling to listen.

But as Mitchell had said, man had a point. What right had they to seek to change everything back? Would they have helped if someone had come to their own timeline to say that it wasn't how it was supposed to be? Of course not; not until something really bad happened.

Daniel only began to mourn the loss of his leg when he watched Sam close to tears, imploring the General not to separate them. He couldn't get up to comfort her and he hated that. He remembered long ago when Sam had confided in him how restricted she felt while working with him sometimes; how he could get away with doing things she could only dream of.

This just wasn't feasible. How could they be separated? Sam and Mitchell were all he had in this world. Mitchell seemed to be coping in that way of his, as though he had already foreseen it and had got himself ready for it. Perhaps it made it a little easier since they had lost Vala and Teal'c. He still seemed down after their encounter with Landry; Daniel knew that Mitchell respected the man quite a lot.

Sam appeared lost, as though she had been slapped in the face by something she had looked up to for all of her adult life. He hated seeing her so upset. It was worse when they were supposed to be professional and he could see how much effort she was putting in just so she wouldn't cry. She needed him.

Daniel wheeled his chair over to her, feeling awkward as he was still getting used to manoeuvring it. He moved it so that his back was towards the table that they were seated around. He looked up at Sam, and said, "Sam, it's okay to be upset – you're only human."

She shook her head as she refused to meet his gaze, knowing that she would cry if she looked at him again. She had already left him for another galaxy for a year – she couldn't be apart from him like that any more.

Cam looked at her in guarded concern as though he too was struggling to deal with his emotions. He said, "You know, we could have just gone all out and said we're in a three-way. He wouldn't know."

Sam looked down at the table but her eyes appeared to be looking straight through it. She said quietly, "It wouldn't have made a difference." She glanced up at Daniel and felt her composure crack as she quickly looked away again. She said, "He wouldn't listen when we said that we're engaged. Let's face it, we're screwed."

Cam didn't know what to say. He couldn't attempt to comfort her any more because he didn't believe in the slightest that anything could be done now. She was right – they were screwed. There was nothing they could do. How had it come to this; the great SG-1 being split up and thrown about on their own home planet, in their own country? He wasn't in it for the glory or the kudos, but he expected at least a little gratitude from the people who now looked on them as whackjobs that they needed to keep under the radar.

He nodded at Jackson, knowing the man could get away with a lot more than either of them could. He said, "Jackson, just hug your damn fiancée already."

The 'you might never see her again' was unsaid yet loud and clear. He looked away when Sam began to cry in Daniel's arms. In a way, he was slightly relieved that he didn't know where Vala or Teal'c were. Sometimes he thought that he was better off not knowing.

It was bad enough being a grandfather paradox. To distract himself from their impending separation, he thought about what Ba'al must have done. He must have gated to the Achilles and killed the crew; including his grandfather. If his grandfather didn't come home after the war, then it would mean that his grandma never gave birth to Cam's father, and by extension, Cam shouldn't exist either.

His professional career seemed to include quite a few miracles just lately. This one had to be the biggest though. He didn't want to see a miracle bigger than him still being alive in a world where his grandfather hadn't sired his father.


	7. Chapter 7

Daniel emerged from the taxi into his new life. If it was indeed 'life', he thought, then he begged to differ with the accepted definition. With his bag slung over his shoulder, he made his way to the apartment building on crutches; now almost getting used to the idea of just having the one leg. He was sad that he had had to get used to it, although he was far sadder about the circumstances that he and his friends were in.

This was it. If the navy got the Stargate up and running, then maybe he would see his friends again, _if_ they were employed as consultants. They would never be allowed near the Stargate. They would never be allowed to set things right.

_Right_. What was right? General Landry had been right – what was right was subjective. Did they have that right to change everything? Could they? He sighed, there was no point in trying when their every move was being monitored; their phones and internet connections bugged. He had worked with the military long enough in his own timeline to know that there was always someone watching.

Lost in his thoughts, Daniel was surprised when he found himself at the door of his designated apartment. He frowned and checked the piece of paper he held just to make sure. He then fumbled in his pocket for keys as he leaned one of his crutches against the adjacent wall. He hated being a cripple – it was bad enough being a discredited whackjob.

He paused when he opened the door and caught sight of what was to be his home from now on. It was minimally decorated, with just some bare essentials. He sighed almost despairingly – he had to be on his own again. He had been on his own many times in his life, but in recent years, he had been used to having someone around. He missed his friends; he missed his home; but most of all, he missed Sam.

He entered the apartment and slammed the door shut behind him with a whack of one of his crutches. He was alone. He dropped his bag on the floor, not caring where it went. He then slowly ventured around his new home, hoping to find somewhere to sleep. Hopefully they had remembered to give him a bed – there was no television, which, he thought, was a blessing. He didn't want to see any more of this world than he had to.

For the first time since being brought to the States, he found himself smiling when he found his bedroom. He was tired and it looked so comfortable. Perhaps in sleep he would forget his pain for at least a little while. He cast aside his crutches and sat down on the soft inviting bed. He closed his eyes as he was soon beset with tears.

_He's just woken. He sits up, wondering whether he can face another day. He closes eyes when he feels her arms around him, and he knows that he can. He can do anything. He turns to look into her clear grey eyes. He sees the love she has for him, and he's thankful, just like every day, that she chose him. This feeling is strengthened when she kisses him, and then he wonders why he should leave his bed and the warm embrace of his fiancée. So he turns back and proceeds to make love to the woman who saved his soul._

Daniel opened his eyes, as though spooked by the vividness of his memories. It had almost been as though she had been there. How he longed for her in this hell. He had truly been to hell many years ago, but this seemed worse. It definitely was. At least then, he had his friends – he had Sam, even if she hadn't known then how he had felt about her, even then.

Tears ran his down cheeks as he looked down and was reminded of how much he had lost. He had lost everything – his whole world. He removed his glasses and then struggled to move himself so that he was on the bed properly. He then lie down, hoping that sleep would soon take him. Perhaps it would have been easier, he thought, if the bed hadn't been so big. When he had spent the previous year in Egypt, he had slept in a futon, even when he had been staying at the hotel. He had got so used to sleeping with Sam that he felt incomplete sleeping in such a large bed by himself. Nonetheless, he closed his eyes.

_She's watering the plants in the kitchen. He loves watching her when she doesn't think he's looking. He's reminded time and time again just why he fell in love with her. She looks so peaceful; so free. Of course, he knows that she knows he's watching. She isn't talking to her plants out loud. He had only seen her do that once before, and she had been very embarrassed when she had seen him. Trying not to grin, he creeps up behind her and doesn't bat an eyelid when she isn't surprised as he embraces her. He moves her long hair back over her shoulder and kisses her tenderly. _

If he kept his eyes closed, maybe he could believe that he was back home again. Yes. He was back in his bed and Sam had got up to get the mail. It was a cold comfort but a comfort nonetheless. Maybe in time, they would let him see her. He couldn't imagine not being able to lay eyes on her again. It killed him inside each time he thought of that prospect.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam flicked through a newspaper as she sat alone in a quiet coffee shop. She had had to wear her glasses again, for the first time in a long time. The last time she had had to do that was when she had misplaced her contact lenses. And then, she hadn't liked it. She had been self-conscious about how she looked in them and kept taking them off whenever her friends looked at her. Of course, that was around the same time when she had walked straight into a wall off-world.

This time, she hadn't misplaced her contact lenses. The black-rimmed glasses were her part of her disguise: her counterpart of this timeline had been a well-known astronaut who had died trying to save her crew aboard the space shuttle Intrepid. Well, she thought, it was some consolation that at least one of the Samantha Carters out there had done something great and been recognised for it. Even in her own timeline, the recognition was lacking. The scientist within her had long stopped craving it... but being in this timeline brought some of it back again.

She had tried contacting her friends. The last time, she had been visibly followed all around the city for at least a week and her laptop had disappeared for that same time. Even now, she was aware of being watched. The powers that be knew that she had the technological expertise to locate her friends, and they were trying to intimidate her. She knew that she had to be careful – not just for herself, but for Daniel and Cam in case they were harmed as a result of her attempts to find them.

She had figured out that they must be relatively nearby. The costs of actually separating them and monitoring each of them would be too much to justify. Perhaps they were even in the same state as her. Hope filled her each time she thought of that, but she soon became disappointed. She didn't know the precise extent of their monitoring of her. But she was angry – she had tried doing it legitimately. She had tried requesting to be able to contact them but they kept giving her vague answers.

They were holding her hostage to the power they had over her; over all of them.

So this was it, until the navy wanted their help. Then they would just be confined to whatever base the navy had housed the 'gate in. There would be no way that they would be allowed to use the 'gate, and it was understandable in a way. Still, it filled her with despair. They wouldn't listen. They wouldn't even listen to her requests to find out if her friends were okay; how Daniel was doing. She wondered whether he had been given a prosthetic leg yet. Was Cam getting all antsy and doing things so that he was doing something rather than sitting around?

She wondered, like she had many times since being settled in this place, how that other Samantha Carter's life had been. She had done great things, and Sam was happy in a way that somewhere, she had managed to fulfil her ambition of getting into NASA; even if her own timeline, she had shot soared right past that. Sam wondered whether she had been loved. She tried looking her counterpart up on this timeline's popular online encyclopaedia but her laptop had crashed each time she had tried.

The same had happened when she had tried to look up the Daniel Jackson of this timeline. Perhaps he was in Egypt. Her Daniel had told her that had he not met Catherine Langford, he would have gone back there and stayed there, possibly for the rest of his life. She remembered how her Daniel had been when she had first met him. Perhaps this one was as shy and as insecure. She was tempted to find him to tell him... but each time, she didn't know what to say. She had seen a picture of him and he appeared to very different from the man she had known for more than a decade.

Sam glanced around the coffee shop inconspicuously. She realised why she had gravitated towards this one. It was the place she used to go with Jack whenever she had had to go to D.C. for official meetings. She had been brave up until then. Her chest began to ache at the memories of her former commanding officer. They had talked so much at that table near the window – _their_ table.

She glanced over it and looked back at her paper as she pretended to be casual. Whenever the whole team were there, or even if it was just Daniel with her, they would always sit somewhere near the middle of the shop. But whenever it was just Jack, they would sit at that table. It was like their own little secret. She remembered what he had said to her once.

_'You see, Carter... I'm not as blind as you think I am. You were looking at him like he was a chocolate bar.' He paused for whatever effect he had in mind. 'I'm not gonna say fat kid in a candy shop because that is just wrong on so many levels. Also, Hank got offended when I cracked that one at him over something.'_

_She stirs her coffee, feeling shy under his scrutiny. She knows he doesn't miss a thing. He shrugs, and says, 'So, you happy?'_

_She's surprised at the question. She quickly gathers her wits, and says, 'Yes. Yes, I am.'_

_'Well, you look it.' He gestured vaguely with his spoon. 'That whole lovey glow.'_

_She blinks. Sometimes his turns of phrase puzzled her. She says, 'Lovey glow?'_

_He glances out of the window. 'Yeah. You know what I mean. It's all that improved blood circulation from Daniel being let out of the bag after a long time.' He looks at her meaningfully. 'A **long** time.'_

_She rolls her eyes and looks away as he finally smiles. She looks back at him. 'With all due respect, Sir. Shut up.'_

_'That's my Carter.' He then looks at her seriously. He nods at her. 'You're doing the right thing. I know things have been shit for you – for both of you over the years... but I know a good thing when I see it.'_

_She smiles and feels her cheeks heating up. She glances downwards, and says, 'So do I, Sir. I don't think I've ever been more certain of anything in my life.'_

_'Well, there you go. I'm surprised you didn't see it coming.' He glances at his watch. 'Anywho, former 2IC, let's go catch a show before you go back to Springs. I'm off to Miami tonight.' He pauses when he realises that Sam's trying not to laugh. 'It's work-related.'_

_She inadvertently lets out a snigger. She says, 'Sure, Sir.' _

Back in the present, Sam closed her eyes as more memories tormented her; tormented her with images, sounds and sensations of a place she might never see again; people she might never see again. She folded her paper and left some money on the table. She then got up as tears burned her eyes. She couldn't cry in public; she couldn't draw any more attention to herself. She was already getting odd looks around town.

She caught sight of her engagement ring as she left the coffee shop. She blinked back more tears as she neared her car. When she had got in, tears ran down her cheeks as she punched the steering wheel angrily. There was nothing she could do. She was all alone in a place that looked upon her as an inconvenience.

She looked at her left hand again. After a moment's hesitation, she removed her engagement ring and pocketed it. There was no use being tormented by that day and night until goodness-knows-when. She looked in the rear-view mirror with the intention of drying her tears but ended up crying all over again.

_They're in the gateroom with most of the people they have worked with or alongside for a decade. There's Cassie, General Hammond, Jack, General Landry, the rest of SG-1. She looks around in confusion. What are they all doing here? Her eyes fall on Daniel, who comes out from in between Jack and Cam. He holds her hands and talks to her, but she can barely process his words. What is going on? She's flattered that he's being affectionate, but they are at work and there are people watching them._

_Before she can work it out, he has dropped onto one knee, and her chest aches. She even forgets to breathe as he looks up at her. They are surrounded by their friends, and the place they have worked in for so long. She's aware of the Stargate looming in her peripheral vision. _

_'... Colonel-Doctor Samantha Carter, will you marry me?'_

_Her chest feels like it's about to collapse. She wants to cry, but her superior officers, her team, and various other SG-teams and colleagues are watching her. She looks into his eyes, into those pools of cerulean. She realises that he will never fully know how she feels about him – what she feels for him. She smiles through her oncoming tears. She had already said to herself that he would be the last person she would ever be with for the rest of her life. Now came the chance to tell him that without scaring him off._

_She smiles at him. She's going to spend the rest of her life showing him just what he means to her. The answer's so obvious; not as difficult as it had been with Jonas and Pete. She breaks out into a grin, and says,_

_'Yes!'_

_This time she's certain. This time the man who asks her to marry him is the only person she can ever imagine being with. He is her whole world, and she grins, knowing that she's his too. He can barely slide the ring onto her finger. He must have been so worked up about it; he seems like he can't believe she had agreed to marry him. He hugs her tightly as everyone cheers, and the tears finally come. He is everything to her and after so long – including the years she had spent hiding how she felt about him – they were going to get married. She can barely believe it. _

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam slid out from underneath his car. He wiped his hands on a greasy looking rag and then loosened his shirt. It had been getting rather warm lately. He gave the car a pat as though thanking it for not falling on him, as unlikely as that would have been. At least it would have been some excitement in his life. He had taken to fiddling with his car and going for insanely long runs.

The less time he spent at the house he had been given, the better. It just seemed so empty without someone there. He sat on the driveway next to the car as he got lost in his thoughts. He patted his shirt pocket, feeling his wedding band. It was amazing just how one small piece of gold could make a grown man cry.

He had spent months phoning the contact numbers he had been given. No-one would tell him where his friends were – what they were doing. He didn't know where they were. He didn't know how to find them. He also knew that he was under surveillance. There was the occasional black car that would park opposite the house for an hour or so at a time once every so often, and goodness knows what else.

Perhaps the navy would call him in, but what for? Maybe they had already got Sam. She was the one with the relevant expertise. He was just a soldier, and they were never going to let him go through an event horizon. He wondered from time-to-time whether at least Sam and Jackson had been allowed to see one another by now.

Despite everything, he still didn't believe it was over. There must be something to do; something that could be done. He just had to wait. Life had taught him so far that even if things looked decisively against him, it was far from over. They would find a way; even if it would took fifty years.

He finally got to his feet and climbed into the car. He started up the engine, and his chest began to ache for the countless time since they had been stranded here. He was lonely. He had been keeping busy so he wouldn't have to think of the things he had lost – the people. His wife and unborn child were gone; Teal'c was gone... and he might never see his friends again.

He missed Vala. She drove him up the wall most of the time, but she understood him; and he liked to think that he understood her to an extent. They had gone through hell and back for one another. He had stood by her side when she tried to help Adria, and then afterwards, when she mourned her.

_He's at a table with most of his team. Teal'c is smirking at him as Jackson and Sam make another joke at his expense. He glares at his team. He loves them dearly – he really does – that's why he feels the need to glare at them when they get like this. If he doesn't, they might never take him seriously... some of the time. _

_Aw, hell, they respected him. They just like treating him like the newbie. Truth be told, he feels like the newbie sometimes. These guys have been doing his job and more for a decade. He's only been here a couple of years. There were things that those three had gone through together that had bonded them forever. _

_He looks up on hearing someone, and he sees Vala. He smiles at her. Finally, someone to back him up, to be on his side. He says, _

_'Hey, baby.'_

_He forgets to glare at the rest of the team when they all start laughing. But Vala likes the attention. That's the difference between him and her – he gets all shy when they start cracking jokes, but she takes them all in her stride. Speaking of which, she promptly sits on his lap and kisses him. He wants to get embarrassed, but his very beautiful wife is kissing him. Screw his team. He kisses her, noticing the shocked silence around the table. _

_Now he has an inkling of why Vala loves doing this._

_The outside soon fades away as he focuses on her. He barely hears Jackson say, 'Get a room...'_

_When they stop kissing, Vala looks down at him. She's pulling that cheeky expression again, but he can see it in her eyes – she loves him; she's in love with him. He reaches up to stroke her cheek gently, and he asks, 'You feelin' okay?'_

_She kisses his forehead, and replies, 'Yeah.' She then shoots a look behind her at their friends. 'What are **you** looking at?'_

_She playfully grabs his nose before leaping off his lap. He feels rather dazed. How does she always know how to make him feel as though he's floating? She then hovers behind his chair and wraps her arms around him, her head resting against his. _

_He finally looks at his friends, to see them trying not to laugh as they look back at him. He glares back at them, slowly becoming aware that he's feeling quite hot, and he's possibly quite red too. This is confirmed when Sam feels pity for him as the others continue to smirk. She says,_

_'You're really red.' _

_He shrugs and shoots back, 'Hey, at least we didn't get caught making out at work.'_

_Oh yeah, now it's just Teal'c smirking. _

Back in the present, Cam sighed as he switched the engine off and got out of the car. He looked up at the clear blue sky. Vala had kept pushing him to take her to Florida. She had really wanted to go to Disneyworld. There was never time... now there was all the time in the world as he was tortured by more memories and regrets.

He looked behind him on hearing a car pulling up. He watched as one of his neighbours parked her car on her driveway. He leaned against his own car and waved at her. She waved back at him and stopped the car. She rolled down the window, and Cam said,

"Hey Mrs McAdams."

She gave him a reproving look, and then smiled. She said, "I keep telling you..."

He nodded self-depreciatingly. He said, "I know. I'm sorry... Heather." She wound up the window and got out of the car. He pushed himself off his own car and walked towards her as he opened the boot. He said, "Here, let me give you a hand with that shopping."


	8. Chapter 8

As the weeks turned into months, Sam gradually felt dead inside. This was the rest of her life – shopping and paying bills. It hadn't been so dull before things had gone pear-shaped. It had been a novelty then to be able to find the time to do such things around work. Now she was stuck in a place where there was nothing else to do because she wasn't allowed to find work in her own fields of expertise.

She didn't need money – the Air Force had given her an allowance to live on. But it wasn't about the money. It was about her being left to live a life she wasn't supposed to be living: alone and under very restrictive rules.

She left the store, and carried two large brown paper bags of groceries to her car. She sighed as she stopped behind the car to open the boot. When she and Daniel would go shopping, he would always open the boot for her and help her load the car. Now she had to balance a bag on the boot while she unlocked it, before grabbing the first bag and trying not to drop either bag as she tried prying the boot open.

She offered up a silent prayer to whomever might be listening, that for once, she wouldn't drop a bag. She closed her eyes in despair when she felt the bag slipping from her grip. It wasn't even worth trying to stop it from falling now. She opened her eyes suddenly when the bag didn't fall. Instead, she felt someone grabbing it.

Surprised, she found herself looking straight into the eyes of Major Paul Davis. Despite the other counterparts she had already met or encountered, this had to be one of the weirdest. When she found her voice, she said,

"M-Major Davis?"

Davis looked at her oddly and then he looked at the bag he now held. He then said, "Miss Carter, I presume?" He opened the boot of her car and put both bags in. He closed the boot and looked up at her. "Get in the car."

She reminded herself that he wasn't _her_ Major Davis. He wasn't the man who had been an invaluable ally over the years to SG-1 and to the Stargate program as a whole. This was someone else. She folded her arms across her chest and she eyed him suspiciously. She said after a pause, "No."

He looked at her calmly, as though expecting this reaction from her. He said, "Miss Carter, _please_ get in the car."

She looked as though she wasn't going to comply. However, after a moment, she relented and got into the driving seat. A few seconds later, Davis got into the passenger side. Without asking, Sam started up the engine and drove out of the car park. She kept her eyes on the road, wondering to herself why she trusted this man not to have her killed. After all, she and her friends were a nuisance to the government of this timeline. It sadly wasn't unheard of in her own timeline.

She drove around, unsure of where she was going. After a couple of minutes, she said, "Well, Major, if you're going to kill me, at least do the honourable thing and tell me."

Davis glanced at her, finding himself more curious about the woman next to him and her friends. He mentally shook himself and kept his mind on what he was supposed to be doing. He watched her as she religiously kept her eyes on the road. He said,

"Miss Carter, rest assured that I'm not here to kill you. Far from it."

He glanced at the steering wheel, and he noticed just how tightly she was holding onto it. He felt sorry for her. Even if her story looked crazy, he hadn't liked the fact that she had been separated from her friends – not least her fiancé – but it wasn't his call. As usual, he just followed orders. It made for a much easier and safer professional life.

He said, "My superiors have asked that you cease your attempts in contacting them."

He noticed that her grip tightened even more on the steering wheel. He wondered just what the breaking point was for her already very white knuckles, or for the steering wheel for that matter. It might have been a Japanese car, but it was an American steering wheel. He noticed too that her jaw clenched as though she was restraining herself from saying something untoward to him.

He continued, "They're willing to offer you a gesture of goodwill for complying with the conditions of your agreement."

Sam still didn't look at him. She said tightly, "I didn't have a choice but to comply." She finally glanced at him and he didn't miss the fury in her eyes. She continued, "You're holding my fiancé and my best friend to ransom. What choice did I have? I've been followed all around this place each time I tried to contact them. My laptop was wiped when I tried hacking into the Pentagon to get their contact details. Hell, my laptop was taken just for trying to find out about the Samantha Carter of this timeline." She shrugged. "I might even wake up dead tomorrow for talking to you."

He sighed silently. There were parts of his job he didn't like, but orders were orders. He said, "Look, I'm sorry about your circumstances. There's nothing more that I can say about that." He paused momentarily. He then said, "But I can tell you something."

He glanced out of the window, noticing that they were near her home address. He said, "Stop the car."

He was surprised when she immediately complied. He had expected more of a fight from her, especially considering the combat experience and skills listed in her file. She looked straight ahead despite having parked up outside of her apartment building. It was all she could do to prevent herself from crying. It wasn't fair. She just wanted to be left alone.

Davis looked at her and said, "Miss Carter... a car will pick you up at nineteen hundred hours this evening. Pack an overnight bag."

Before Sam could even react, he had secured his hat upon his head and had opened the door. He was gone before she could speak. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the steering wheel in despair. They were going to torture and kill her, and no-one would know she was gone.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam had rarely been in his bedroom during daylight hours. For the first time in however-many months, he found himself not going out for his morning run. Naked from the waist up, he stood next to the window as he looked out at nothing in particular. There wasn't really much point in keeping up the charade any more. While he spent hours running or fixing cars, he could forget, or at least fool himself for that relatively short period of time into thinking that everything was okay.

Returning to the house each day left him feeling dead inside. Why they had given him an entire house, he didn't know. He was just one man – one broken man – left holding the shattered pieces of a life he had once loved. He hadn't felt this down since he had almost lost everything; since before SG-1 gave him the motivation and zeal to want to live again.

He closed his eyes as he tried to remember the times he had had with his friends. The camping trips with just Vala, or with Jackson, Sam and Teal'c in tow, seemed like another life; another time. It was as though SG-1 had been a figment of his imagination. The tattoo on the base of his spine – the one with Vala's name in cursive script – and his wedding ring said otherwise. She had been real, and they had all been real, along with the adventures of the past couple of years.

What he wouldn't give to see them all again. What he wouldn't give to see _her_ again.

Despite the ever present ache for the way things should have been, he found himself increasingly numb. He wanted to feel more. He wanted to run out into the rain and tear at his chest in fury as he screamed at the heavens. For once, he wanted to do all the things heartbroken heroes in Vala's romance novels seemed to do when separated from their beloveds. He had good reason too as well – his friends were gone; his wife was gone; his unborn child was gone; his whole world was gone.

But he couldn't even cry. It was as though he was still Colonel Cameron Mitchell. It was though he and SG-1 were still on a mission. Ever the professional, it was as though he was seeing it through to the end. It was as though a part of him was certain that this couldn't last; as though someone would work out that they had been right all along.

Perhaps, in time, they'd let him see Jackson and Sam again. They were all he had left in this wretched place and he hadn't seen them in a long time. He couldn't bear thinking about what the rest of the galaxy must be like without eleven years of SG-1 saving the day. He knew all too well that his team – his band – had been vital to furthering Earth's understanding of different sciences, and of Earth history and cultures. He didn't know the specifics, but he did know that the development made with the Stargate would have taken decades or even centuries without one. It was fundamentally important to discovering Earth's, and humankind's place in the galaxy and the wider universe.

What these people were doing was ridiculous, even if he could rationalise it after a fashion. They needed to be out there, or at least they needed to be able to advise the Navy of the dangers, of the risks involved.

But what was the point? The government had already made up their mind. They were just a bunch of quiet embarrassments.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel lie in his darkened room, his prosthetic leg propped up against his bed. He had had trouble sleeping for a long while, and had taken to sleeping through much of the day because of his nocturnal troubles. It was just so hard getting used to being alone again. He looked up towards the window which had been covered by a heavy curtain; it had been so since the first night he had spent in the place. He just couldn't bear to look at the world that wasn't his; at the people going about their lives in a place that was all wrong.

He didn't know how long he could live in isolation from the world. He had already given away the television that the Air Force had given him. He had no use for learning about this bastard world; it shouldn't even exist.

He had got past the urge to undo everything. It was clear that they didn't want his or his friends' help. A bitterness now befell him.

Screw them, he thought. Screw them all. They had brought this upon themselves.

He preferred being alone and isolated like this; alone with his thoughts. He could think back over the good times; over the times in a world that should exist in this one's place. He wasn't sure of how the science of it worked out – that had always been more of Sam's speciality than his – but it felt wrong. It felt beyond wrong, but he had accepted, albeit bitterly, that it was out of his hands now.

He missed everything. He missed the nights he would lie awake with Sam, talking out their issues, or just talking over a mission or their day in general. He missed the times when she and he would dance together in the living room when they couldn't sleep. He missed the easy banter with her, and with his team-mates. He missed the mountains of work in his office. He missed bringing in books for Vala's secret perusal. He missed going through the Stargate and discovering new things, or recovering old things. He missed the people and the allies they had met and made.

He missed his leg.

Hell, he even missed Jack.

For once, why couldn't things have gone back to the way they had been? For once, why couldn't it all have been a dream? Why did life or the universe, or whatever, take pleasure in ruining things for him when he found the least bit of happiness or contentment in his life? What had he done to deserve the repeated ass-kickings? When would he finally catch a break?

Perhaps it was time to finally explore this place, he thought ruefully. After all, if he was going to be stuck there, he might as well. It was getting rather tedious and suffocating being a shut-in, only emerging for basic supplies.

He turned over, feeling uncomfortable lying in one position for so long. He had thought that after all the time that had past, the urge to hold Sam when he turned over in bed, would fade. He had thought he would forget, but it was just as strong as ever. A part of him expected her to be there – _all _of him wanted her to be there.

His Air Force contact had long since stopped answering his calls. He wanted to know when he could see his friends. After all of the time that had passed, they couldn't still be seen as a threat, could they? What could they do – what could _he_ do? It wasn't as though his prosthetic leg was a decent enough weapon to get them anywhere.

He was about to turn over again, feeling a little itchy at lying so still and not being able to sleep. However, there was a knock at the door. He looked up from under his covers. He then settled back down again. It was probably that nosy neighbour trying to borrow anything from him which would then lead into an unending conversation that forced him to be rude so he could get away.

That didn't work. There was the knocking again. It sounded quite sharp and efficient; as though the knocker meant business. Somehow, it sounded oddly familiar.

He sighed wearily. He hadn't done anything. He had long since stopped trying to track his friends down. What did they want from him now; and at this hour?

He hazily groped for his crutches instead of his cane, knowing that it would take too long to attach his prosthetic leg. Whoever it was deserved the shock of seeing him with one leg. Hell, he had had to learn to live it.

That someone knocked again, and he found himself thinking that he had heard that certain knock somewhere before. This time, he called, sounded none too happy, "Just a minute!"

It had been a while since he had used his crutches. He didn't have his glasses on, so it took a while to navigate his dark apartment. After narrowly avoiding some quite heavy furniture, he made it to the living area where he hit a light switch with one of his crutches. Now squinting because of all the light, he propped up a crutch against the wall and unlocked the door.

As he opened the door, he said grumpily, "Look, this better be important. It's late and I'm far from being in the best of moods..."

He then stared at the person out in the hall when he realised just who had been knocking. Why was his mind torturing him? If only he had picked up his glasses on the way. A few moments later, he realised that he wasn't hallucinating. He hadn't seen her in such a long time. He couldn't even speak. He just slowly hopped backwards so that he held the door open for her.

He watched her. She was quiet, and it looked as though she had been crying. She was wearing the glasses that he knew that she owned but seldom wore. She looked different. He didn't know how long it had been since he had seen her last; since she had cried in his arms in that hangar, but it had been a long time – too long.

His clouded, shocked thoughts soon turned to deep worry. What if she was going to get into trouble for seeing him? He would rather she had stayed away. He wasn't worth the trouble. He managed to find the words to be able to speak as he closed the door and turned back to her. She was watching him, and he became keenly aware that she was looking at his half a leg.

He wouldn't blame her if she wanted to end things between them. He didn't want to be a burden on her.

He said, frowning in concern, "Sam? Do they...?"

Sam appeared surprised that he had spoken; as though she hadn't been aware that he was really there. She met his gaze and nodded after a moment's hesitation. She dropped the bag that she carried, and she said, "Yeah, they know. They drove me here."

"What about Mitchell?"

She shook her head sadly. She said, "This is as far as they're willing to go for now. That guy needs us – his head is going to be a mess right now."

He glanced down at his feet, or rather his _foot_. He said, "Yeah, I don't blame him." He looked at her, so much of what was unsaid between them in his eyes. He couldn't even begin to say the things he wanted to; the things he needed to say. Just looking at her, his longing for her intensified. He said, "Well, it's good to see you, Sam."

She broke down in tears suddenly, as though unable to contain herself. He felt rotten. She shouldn't have had to worry about him. If only he hadn't got frostbite back in the Arctic. He wouldn't be as useless as he felt. She said,

"It's good to see you too, Daniel." She took her glasses off and put them in her jacket pocket. She looked up at the ceiling, as though forcing herself into a state of composure. She then looked at him again. She said, "I tried so hard to find you guys, but they stopped me at every turn. Even this is only temporary. One day. They're picking me up tomorrow evening."

The ache in his chest worsened. One day wasn't enough. There were so many things he wanted to tell her. But it was better than the hell he had experienced over the past few months. Anything would be better than that. He even wouldn't have minded returning to Ne'tu. At least that had fitted the description in the brochure.

He wanted to hug her, to never let go, but he felt awkward. How could she love a man with only one and a half legs?

Sensing his unease, Sam smiled at him through her tears. She then wiped her tears away and looked around at the apartment. She said, "It's a nice place you got here." She didn't give him chance to speak as she picked up her bag. She looked at him in concern. "Okay, get yourself to bed. If they'd given me a key, I would have let myself in. You shouldn't be up this late in your condition."

He was puzzled as she then turned on her heel, as though looking for something. She then found his kitchen. She turned to him with a faint smile as she lifted a familiar box out of her bag, and she said, "I brought you your favourite. Froot Loops." She frowned a little as she looked at the box. "Um, not exactly the same brand we have at home, but I guess it's the same thing." She then looked at him sadly as though a fear had been confirmed. "Go on, Daniel. I'm just gonna put some stuff away. I figured you'd be a recluse."

He wanted to answer her, to say that he had been looking after himself. He knew how protective she was of him. Perhaps if they had been back home, he would have found the words. But now he just found himself lost for words. Instead of complying, however, he watched her put various groceries away, and he wondered just how she could know him so well. They were all going through hell and she had thought to stock his cupboards.

Typical.

That thought gave him cause to smile for a little while. He watched as she finished what she was doing, and then as she held onto the front of a worktop as though she was steadying herself emotionally. He wanted to reach out, to help her, but he felt inadequate; as though he wasn't enough – as though he wasn't half the man that he once had been.

He was about to put his crutches to one side and find his way to her when she turned around. She dried her tears, and looked at him in bemusement. She was trying to be mad at him but she just couldn't. Ordinarily, that would have made him smile, and it would have given him an opportunity to tease her.

But he just couldn't. She was broken, and for once, he couldn't find all the pieces to put her together again.

She said, "Daniel, come on, it's late."

He gazed at her wistfully. He remarked dryly, "Well, I haven't seen you in a while; figured I'd hang around."

She smiled somewhat as she looked at the ground. She looked at him and pushed herself from the worktops. She picked her bag up, and she slid her other arm around his waist as he used a single crutch to support himself. As they made their way to his bedroom, she asked, worried,

"Haven't you been given a prosthetic limb yet? I know you probably don't go out much, but..."

Daniel switched on the lights as they entered his room. Sam stopped talking when she saw his prosthetic leg propped up against the side of his bed. He glanced at her, as though self-conscious of her seeing such a thing. He said,

"Yeah, I take it off when I go to bed. It hurts lying on it."

He sat down on the bed and she put his crutches away. His gaze fell to his left leg – to the stub that was left of it. He felt white-hot shame burn him. She shouldn't have seen him like this. He couldn't bear to look at himself like this, never mind letting anyone else see him. He glanced out of the corner of his eye, noticing that she was changing out of her clothes.

That sight alone cooled his shame. He remembered the times when he had come home injured, and he would just spend his recovery time watching her. She certainly had been, and was, a sight for sore eyes. When she had finished changing, she sat down next to him, and he remembered so much more than his dreams had made him remember. It brought his dreams alive. He was aware of every little detail – her shoulder against his, her arm brushing against his, her scent, the way she sat quietly as though waiting for him.

He couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say. What could he say? They had been thrust into a situation far beyond their field of expertise or control. There was no way out. How then would they lead their lives if he wasn't allowed to see her as often as he would like? How could they continue being together if their very relationship had been reduced to being at someone else's discretion?

He would rather that he never saw her again than to just see her so briefly. It wasn't enough, but then again, life overall wasn't enough. He had finally found the one with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life, and the universe was doing all that it could to take her away from him. Dammit, he wasn't going to let it happen again.

He still didn't know what to say. Instead, he just rested his head against her shoulder and he closed his eyes. For one brief shining moment, he was home; he was finally home. He had felt empty for so long now that feeling complete again was a shock to the system. He began to tremble as though scared of what he was feeling. He felt her arms around him, anchoring him in the tumultuous uncertainty.

What grounded him, however, was when she kissed him. It made him feel human again. He hadn't had much human contact since being separated from his friends. It felt good to be close to someone; it felt good to be close to her again. He opened his eyes and gazed at her. He liked looking at her at such close quarters. He didn't need his glasses to see her face, to see every emotion therein; even the ones she tried to hide from him.

He caressed her cheek, his hand slowly sliding to her neck. He did it slower than he usually did, as though he was learning her body all over again. Whatever doubts he had about his leg vanished when he looked into her eyes and saw the love that he had seen before. His chest began to ache, albeit in a good way. She loved him. She loved him regardless.

He kissed her softly, gently reminding her just how much he had missed her. When he pulled away, he realised that she had been crying. He kissed her tears away, willing his own tears to abate. When he stopped, she gazed at him as she held his face in her hands, her thumbs caressing his cheeks. She appeared to be struggling with her emotions.

She then managed to compose herself. It usually scared him when she did it so quickly, especially on a mission, because he saw it as unhealthy to hide one's pain. When she got like this, it would be a long time before she would open up to him; as though she was being professional for his sake. She said brightly, "Come on, you need to lay down."

Not waiting for an answer, she carefully helped him to lie down on the bed. She covered him up with the soft coverings. She seemed to hesitate as she did so, and he noticed that she was feeling the material between her fingers. She looked at him curiously, and said, "Did you buy these covers?"

He shook his head, and said wryly, "Nope, it's what I get for being an embarrassment to the government of this timeline _and_ a cripple." He frowned as he watched her, his doubts rising again. "Aren't you put off by my leg?"

She sat next to him but she wasn't shocked. She gently rubbed the remains of his left leg, as though she was expecting doubts from him. She had known him long enough. She shook her head, and said, bemused,

"Daniel, you don't stop being the man I love just because of an accident." She looked at his leg hesitantly. "I'll admit it's kinda weird... I mean, I'm used to you having two legs, but..." She shrugged as she looked at him reassuringly. "... this is you now, and..." She sighed. "... the whole 'in sickness and in health' thing has been a given for a long time without being your fiancée."

She finally lie down next to him, feeling some kind of contentment. There was also guilt as both he and she were keenly aware that while they did have each other, even when separated, Cam didn't have Vala. Vala and Teal'c were out there somewhere – they had to be – but what were the odds of seeing them again?

Sam watched him as she usually did back home when she couldn't sleep. She watched the rise and fall of his chest. She watched him struggle to find the words to make things okay, if only for a little while. For once, she had lost everything _but_ Daniel, rather than the other way around as it usually seemed so. It didn't hurt any less, but at least he was okay. At least now she knew where he was.

She rested her head against his as she draped her arm across his stomach. If she closed her eyes, she could imagine they were home again. Perhaps. It was hard after so long of being in this place.

Suddenly, she was aware of him speaking. She hadn't expected him to for at least a few more minutes. She opened her eyes and looked at him. He turned so that he was on his left shoulder. He gently rubbed her hip, and asked,

"Did you find out more about the 'you' of this timeline?"

Her gaze fell from his as she recalled the trouble she had had with pretty much anything she had tried to do. She shook her head. She looked at him when she felt his fingers on her cheek. She said, annoyed, "No. My laptop crashed each time I tried... and then it went missing for a week."

He frowned in worry as he looked at her. He said, "What?"

She shook her head again, knowing just how worried he was. She said, "They haven't done that in a while now... figured I might as well play ball in case they hold you or Cam as ransom."

"But it means that despite all the crap they've put us through, they're still trampling over your basic freedoms."

She sighed. Daniel could be so naïve sometimes. She said, "Daniel, we're military prisoners. No-one knows who we are or that we're even here. We have no freedoms left to trample over. Who the hell are we going to complain to?"

He stroked her cheek tenderly, a deep worry in his eyes. He said, "Be careful, okay? I don't want them to find an excuse to harm you." He paused. "They haven't touched you, have they?"

"Of course not." She sighed again. "You know, maybe they'll go easy on us in time." Her hand slowly moved up and down his waist. "Maybe they'll let us see Cam. It's not like we have the means to do anything."

"We're still dangerous. We're still a threat to these people. People fear what they don't understand; the military even more so."

She glanced away from him. After all this time, he still didn't completely understand the infrastructure within which she had spent her entire adult life. He still had a deep mistrust of it. But then, he was in a position where he could freely criticise the military, whereas she was obliged to uphold its principles and protocols. Even so, a part of him still believed that the military equated to shooting first and asking questions later.

She shrugged, and said, "Wait and see what they say first." She kissed him on the cheek and then appeared worried. She said, "How have you been, Daniel?"

He casually retorted, "Oh, so-so. Lost a leg, you know..." He sighed quietly when he realised that she was looking at him meaningfully. That was usually a signal for him that she wasn't in the mood for his sarcasm. He then replied candidly, "I haven't been out much. I don't even have a television. I just can't stand this place. It feels wrong."

Her fingers moved up to his head, and he closed his eyes as he felt things he hadn't in a long time. She said, "What about your 'you' here? Have they stopped you from finding out more about him?"

Daniel opened his eyes and looked at her, as though surprised for the briefest of moments. It hadn't really occurred to him to find out about himself – he knew himself already, didn't he? He shook his head, and said, "No. I didn't see the point."

She appeared bemused at this. The Daniel she knew was eternally curious; more curious than the metaphorical dead cat. Surely he'd want to know about how his life could have been; what he could have done had the Stargate programme not existed? She knew that she was interested in what she could have done.

Her curiosity at this soon faded when she realised that she had always had many options, whereas the SGC was the only thing giving Daniel credibility for his work. His lack of curiosity led her to believe that he just didn't believe in himself as much as he used to; that he wasn't secure enough in himself to be curious even about himself.

She caressed his brow as he passively watched her. She said with a smile, "Wouldn't it be great if you could talk to yourself, to reassure him that at least someone believes in his work?"

He looked at her in disbelief. "Yeah, right, and while I'm at it, why don't I tell him about the Asgard?"

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. He could be so stubborn sometimes. She said, "Look, I know I didn't get to know you until after your theories had been proven to be fact... but I know you. Hell, you're the most insecure man I know..." Her hopeful expression faltered. "Without the SGC, without that credence and acceptance... without Catherine recruiting you, I think you would have run away and slowly stopped believing in your work and in yourself."

She continued to stroke his cheek. She said, "You shouldn't be a discredited whackjob..." She smiled. "You're a whackjob, alright, but a credited one."

He remarked sarcastically, "Yeah, thanks... that fills me up with all sorts of positive emotions." He gently kissed the tip of her nose and then glanced away from her. "I guess I should try at least." He looked at her again. "You're right. I don't know how you always seem to know me so well, but... you're right." He smiled as he kissed her. "... as always."

She smiled shyly. "Don't... it'll go to my head." She gazed at him, feeling a little lighter than she had in a long while. She hugged him, holding him close to her. She wanted to close her eyes, to lose herself in the feeling of his body against hers, the way it seemed to mould against hers as though she and he were meant to be together.

She caressed his hair and said, "Come on, Daniel. You need to sleep and I've just used a commercial airline."

She rested his head against his, smiling again when he whispered the things he usually did when they were alone together. She was about to put her arms around him when he did it first. She had been strong for him up until now, but her resolve crumbled when she felt his arm around her. She had missed this so much – she had missed everything.

She didn't want to keep him awake any longer, but she couldn't help it. She started crying again.


	9. Chapter 9

_Lyrics featured are Everytime, by A1_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Alone again, Sam couldn't bear it. It had been almost unbearable before, but now, it was somehow worse. She had seen him; she had touched him; she had spent time with him... and, once more, there was the strong possibility that she might never see him again. It hurt now; it physically hurt her to consider it. A part of her would rather that _they_ hadn't let her see him again. Seeing him, seeing his condition, had made it just that much harder for her to leave him again.

"_Lately I'm not who I used to be  
Someone's come and taken me  
Where I don't wanna go  
If I knew exactly what I have to do  
In order to be there for you  
When you were feeling low..._"

She lie in a foetal position in the middle of her bed, her eyes red-rimmed. The drapes had been clumsily drawn shut, leaving her in a melancholy darkness to cry herself to an uneasy sleep. She released a shuddering sob as she clutched a box of Froot Loops to her stomach. She couldn't do it again. As much as it hurt that she might never see him again, she felt, in her present emotional state, that she should refuse any more visits to Daniel. It had killed her inside to leave him like that. He needed her, and she needed him.

"... _And all the things we ever wanted  
Were once yours and mine  
Now, I know we can revive it  
All the love we left..._"

She was then racked with guilt for feeling the way that she did. At least she had seen him; at least she had had some time with him. Cam had had neither with Vala. She didn't know a lot of things: chiefly, where he was was, what he was doing, and how he was coping. She knew, however, that it wasn't likely that he would be coping well. It just wasn't something he did well in times of personal crises.

"... _Everytime I kiss I feel your lips and  
Everytime I cry I see your smile and  
Everytime I close my eyes I realise that  
Everytime I hold your hand in mine  
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find  
And I have never felt this way  
Since the day I gave your love away..._"

She continued to cry, feeling dead and empty; as though she hadn't a friend at all in the world. From here on out, there was no-one. There couldn't be. It just hurt too much; far too much.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel felt empty now that Sam had left him once again. He had enjoyed the company. He had been too lonely without her. It hurt to be apart from her, but he tried to rationalise it. At least he had had that time with her. He hadn't expected it, so it was a bonus; a bonus beyond his wildest dreams. His broken heart had started to reassemble. At least she was still out there; at least she was okay. One of the worst things about their separation had been the not knowing.

Even in that short time, she had changed him. It had almost been like old times, back before everything had gone to hell. She had given him the confidence – the inspiration – to do something that he hadn't even thought of doing. Not only had she inspired him, she had also made him believe that it was the right thing to do. Sometimes, he wondered, just how she had come to know him far better than even he did.

"... Save me, I've fallen from my destiny  
You and I were meant to be  
I've thrown it all away  
Now you're gone  
It's time for me to carry on  
But baby I just can't go on  
Without you by my side..."

That time with her – brief as it had been – had also inspired him to begin exploring the world that was now home. He was aware that exploration meant accepting his fate, but he had been in the dark for too long. He wanted to feel the sunshine on his face again. He wanted to breathe the air outside; he wanted to see people too. Perhaps he wouldn't feel so alone any more.

With the help of a cane, he stepped out into the world beyond his apartment. His first thought was that he should go back inside and maybe try to sleep. However, he was determined to walk somewhere. He had to. He owed her that much. She knew him too well, and she had made him promise that he would go out. Even if he might never see her again, he could never break a promise; not least one made to her.

He felt self-conscious walking down the street. He noticed the way people acted around him – as though there was something wrong with him; as though he wasn't a part of mainstream society on account of his cane. If only they knew that he was missing half a leg – there wasn't a moment where he didn't forget; he couldn't.

He wondered where he should go in this bustling city; what he should do. The city, or at least the one he had known in his own timeline, had been full of memories. He had spent different times of his life there; he had studied for his linguistics PhD. That had been a very long time ago now; something which he tried not to think about.

"... And all the things we ever wanted  
Were once yours and mine  
Now, I know we can revive it  
All the love we left..."

He found himself near a bookshop he vaguely recognised. Perhaps his exploration of this world could start with reading. As he did so, it occurred to him that some of the greatest literary works that he had read and studied in his life, may have changed in the new timeline. Were the 'lost' plays of Shakespeare not lost in this timeline? Had prominent authors such as William Thackeray and Marcel Proust published their respective works?

The former prospect excited him – that perhaps he could finally read Shakespeare's lost plays. He had so little good left in his life that he decided to remain in a state of hopeful excitement rather than to despair at whether this world had any good left in it. After all, life was short.

He was mildly surprised in his excitement as he entered the book shop. It didn't look as odd as he thought that it might to him. The titles, authors... everything looked like the type of things one would find in such an establishment. A part of him was disappointed; he had been looking forward to some kind of shock – some opportunity to silently lambast this world for yet another reason – but perhaps, he thought, the shock of his life being taken from him was enough to last him a lifetime.

He walked through the shop, relishing the familiar dusty smell and confined atmosphere of places that had never let him down. Throughout his life, he had lost everything at different times, but books had been the one thing he hadn't lost nor had he been hurt by them in any way. He didn't even pick any books up for once – he just liked being there; surrounded by so many purveyors of culture. To him, books were alive. They carried culture, ideas, and language to progressive generations, long after their authors had passed on.

He had often thought that as long as humankind had books, then no matter their condition, all wasn't lost.

Daniel was just content walking through, losing himself in everything. However, his heart began to beat faster on noticing something. He had published a book... or rather, the _he_ of this timeline, as he had to repeatedly remind himself. He slowly grinned as he picked the book up and looked at it. At least somewhere, he thought, he had managed to find the time to write the book he had always wanted to write.

Admittedly, the copy he held in his hand wasn't written by someone who had had his work completely proven – and them some – over the past decade, but it was brilliant nonetheless. He couldn't stop smiling. The man may be insecure as Sam had surmised, but he was free to write whatever he wanted to write without fear of sanctions, charges, or of even tarnishing any kind of professional reputation.

That was one thing about his life before the Stargate that he missed. He had had plenty of freedom within the confines of the Stargate programme... but outside of that, he was nothing. He was just a joke; a long forgotten failure.

As he paid for the book, he realised that Sam had been right. If there had been no Stargate programme; no first mission through the Stargate, then his theories would just have been theories. He may have returned to Egypt after that disastrous lecture and never returned, or at least not returned for a long while. Perhaps he would have eventually given up archaeology and linguistics.

It was hard for him to think sometimes just how insecure and unsure of himself as a person he had been back then. It seemed like another lifetime; another time – perhaps even another person. He had been a different person. The past decade had been a whirl of unimaginable adventures, discoveries, emotional landslides, and explosions. For him now to have a quiet life again was just disheartening and incredibly depressing.

He eventually made it back home and went straight to his room. He detached his leg and rubbed his stump, wincing at the soreness. He then lie back on his with a sigh. The covers were a cool comfort to his weary body and he closed his eyes. It felt both like lifetime ago, and a short time ago, that she was there next to him. He was past tears now. What was left was a sharp ache that he knew from experience would slightly dull over time.

"..._ Everytime I kiss I feel your lips and  
Everytime I cry I see your smile and  
Everytime I close my eyes I realise that  
__Everytime I hold your hand in mine  
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find  
And I have never felt this way  
Since the day I gave your love away_..."

His thoughts turned once again to how the Samantha Carter of this timeline had been. Had she known or ever come into contact with his counterpart? He knew that it wasn't likely. He was well aware that the relationships he had had over the past decade or so – platonic, professional, and romantic – had been mostly possible due to where he worked and the nature of his work. It had already been plaintively clear that he would never have been such good friends with Jack O'Neill without the Stargate.

Daniel lifted the book to his chest and read a couple of pages. Looking at it objectively, he was amazed by the fluid writing style, and how the theories weren't just shots in the dark. Admittedly, the proof used was a little shaky, but so was the proof on which the best of theories were made. Theories after all were facts that hadn't been proved yet.

He suddenly smiled again. He had an idea. What if he were to contact his other self? The government of this timeline seemed more concerned with keeping Sam from finding out about a dead woman, but they weren't going to pay attention to a 'discredited whackjob living on the fringes of society'. Nobody paid attention to whackjobs. He had spent half his adult life being ignored.

He reached for his phone and dialled a number, hoping that he had guessed his location correctly.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam needed to go home; even if it wasn't home any more. He needed to be there – to feel like he belonged somewhere in his hell-hole. If he didn't belong at home, then he was nothing. He was already nothing – he had lost everything – but the kicker would be not having a home any more. He had long since worked out that since his grandfather had been killed somehow by Baal's troops, then his father wouldn't exist, which of course explained there being no version of him in this timeline.

But he still had to know what happened. Perhaps his mother still existed. Maybe she moved to Kansas for a different reason if she hadn't met his father in this timeline. As much as it hurt to think that his own mother wouldn't know him, he still wanted to see her. He hadn't seen a familiar face in so long.

As he tightened something off in the engine of the car he was working on, he felt increasingly glum. He was the leader of SG-1 – even if it was in name only – and he should have saved his team somehow. He could have done something instead of hedging all of his bets on Sam's expertise. No-one's field of expertise could have given them the knowledge to deal with such a situation as being stuck in a bastardised version of everything they knew.

"... _We can survive it  
All the pain we feel inside  
You relied on me and now I've let you down  
Now, I promise you forever  
I will be the best I can  
Now, I know we can revive it  
All the love we left_..."

He should have been able to do something about Vala. He should have stood next to her in the Tok'ra chamber. Perhaps then he would have been able to stop her from disappearing. With his forearm, he wiped away sweat from his brow, and at the same time, tears.

Hell, Jack O'Neill would have got all of his team out and sacrificed himself in their stead. That was what a true leader did. He sighed quietly. He felt inadequate from time-to-time as a part of SG-1. He had been assigned to lead the team, but how could he lead a bunch of people who had been doing their jobs for far longer than he had?

"... _Everytime I kiss I feel your lips and  
Everytime I cry I see your smile and  
Everytime I close my eyes I realise that  
Everytime I hold your hand in mine  
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find  
And I have never felt this way  
Since I gave your love away_..."

Well, there was no point worrying over that, he thought. It was too late. He had lost everything: his friends, his wife, his family, his home – even himself. Now wasn't the time to go over old worries he had shared with Vala during sleepless nights when he repeatedly questioned his own command decisions when it resulted in a member of his team being injured or going missing.

His neighbour – Heather – came over with her son to check whether he had fixed her car – the one which he was working on. She left again when he promised her that maybe she could have the car back after he had taken it on a road trip test-drive. She had smiled at him and spoken to him in such a way that unsettled him.

He wasn't blind – or at least not as blind as Daniel Jackson could be, he thought to himself. He knew that she was attracted to him. If he was honest with himself, he was attracted to her too, and she might have been his type before he married Vala. But he was married, even if it didn't count in this timeline, and he loved Vala too much to cheat on her, even if he didn't know where she was.

Trouble, he thought. It's just trouble.

"... _Everytime I kiss I feel your lips and  
Everytime I cry I see your smile and  
Everytime I close my eyes I realise that  
Everytime I hold your hand in mine  
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find  
And I have never felt this way  
Since the day I gave your love away_..."


	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks to Marcus S. Lazarus for suggesting a scene. :o)_

_Also, apologies for the shortness of this chapter. It's just a little filler before they meet Hayes._

_Some months later..._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel had no time to feel warm or pleased. Being of either state of mind was far from his thoughts as the aftermath of Sam's phone call left him feeling horrified; beyond horrified. Despite his feelings about this world – this timeline – the Goa'uld showing up _anywhere_ was always bad: Ba'al even more so now. He wanted to leave them to it; he really did, but his friends were out there, and he had to be with them.

No sooner had he hung up when he heard a sound from his living room. Instinctively, he reached for his cane and waited. He dropped his cane in shock, however, when someone rather familiar strolled into his bedroom.

He gaped in surprise. He said, "Major Davis?"

Davis looked at him oddly, wondering if the remaining member of this team with strange stories recognised him too. He wondered yet again – since meeting Colonel Carter – what he had been to these people; how much of a friend he had been. Not _he_, he repeatedly reminded himself. They knew some other man. However, he felt a small amount of regret, as though he would have liked to have known them had circumstances been different – had it all been different.

Daniel sighed softly as he realised that it wasn't the same man that he knew; the man with whom he had regularly played chess with, and who had taught him how to ski.

Davis cleared his throat as though embarrassed for some reason. He then said, "Doctor Jackson, you have to come with me. My superiors have requested your presence."

Daniel groaned wearily as he went about attaching his prosthetic limb, refusing any help from the major. The archaeologist said, "Well, it's not like I can run away from you now, is it..."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

So, they finally needed her. Despite the potential direness of the situation, Sam couldn't help feeling a sense of smugness. They had put her through hell, and now they wanted her. The rational part of her questioned what they could use her for, considering that they weren't likely to trust her all that soon.

Where were her friends? Had the government of this place taken just her, and held her friends as ransom to ensure her co-operation? It wouldn't be surprising. In fact, she expected it. Feeling dead inside, she was escorted into and out of various nondescript rooms and corridors. Finally, at long last, she, and the soldiers escorting her, finally came to a stop. Without a word, they left the room, and she went to the door, only to have it slammed in her face.

She placed her fists on the door, as though giving up on pounding at the door. She closed her eyes and turned away from the door. She sighed, and said quietly, "Yeah."

She walked away from the door and looked around the holding room reluctantly. Her spirits rose on sighting a laptop, but they soon dropped when she discovered that it was password-protected and wasn't accepting the typical passwords used by the Air Force in her own timeline. She sighed angrily and slammed the laptop shut. She briefly considered throwing it across the room but decided against it.

She slowly turned on hearing the door open, expecting a soldier or some government representative. She stopped in her tracks, however, on spotting Cam. He seemed a bit rough around the edges – his hair was shaggier and he seemed to have lost some weight, but it was still him. She grinned after a moment's hesitation.

Seeing him, she felt the same things she did when she went to visit Mark after a long time, but without the underlying tension caused by their different perspectives of their father and their parents' rocky relationship.

Since returning to SG-1, Sam had never felt as bad not being able to visit Mark as often. Cam was like the little brother she had never had, plus he knew what she did for a living, because he did more or less the same thing. Or at least he had done.

The next thing she knew, she was hugging him tightly. He grimaced a little as he struggled to breathe but he didn't protest because he hadn't seen her in such a long time. He didn't care. In months – in a year – she was the only person from his own life whom he had seen. But it brought it all back; not that it ever went away.

Vala was still gone... and so was Teal'c.

It felt worse than a kick in the gut... which was why Sam hugging the life out of him didn't bother him all that much.

She let him go and he noticed that she was acting the way she usually did during tough moments in missions when he was certain she was going to cry but she never did. He, however, realised that his own cheeks were wet, and he wiped them, embarrassed that he had been that vulnerable in front of her. He loved her like a sister, but sometimes it felt as though he didn't belong on SG-1 and that he needed to constantly prove himself.

Crying wasn't a way to prove oneself as a capable leader or co-command of Earth's supposedly forefront planetary defence team.

But, hell, SG-1 didn't exist any more.

He was glad, however, that he had managed to wipe his tears away... especially when he laid eyes on Jackson. Man, that man had it bad; at least he himself had both his legs.

He was about to hug him when Sam practically threw herself at him. He suddenly felt a pang of longing as he watched Sam finally cry in Jackson's arms. At least they had one another, and at least he had them.

But there wasn't time for this. Ba'al was likely to take over the world. As stupid as he thought that world to be, he still felt that he couldn't let it happen. It just wasn't right.

His friends seemed to think the same thing too as they let go of one another and dried their tears. Within seconds, they were part of the old team that he had known before: professional, resourceful, and full of ideas. He could almost believe that things were back to normal; that Vala was waiting for him at home; that Teal'c was waiting for him in the gym... if he hadn't looked at Jackson's leg again.

That was like seeing Sam again after so long. It reminded him of what he had lost; what they had all lost.

Jackson looked tired. He said, "We should just leave them to it. We warned them and they separated us and made us into prisoners in our own country." He looked around at Sam and at Mitchell. "I have no problem with that. I probably should, but I don't. For once, I'm putting my foot down."

Cam looked at him meaningfully, although not as meaningfully as he would have liked. He understood Jackson's fatigue. He shared it too. But they couldn't just leave these people to it. It was still home even if it wasn't really Kansas any more. He wasn't sure how it all worked, but he remembered SG-1, or at least Sam and Kvasir, helping twenty or so different SG-1's to get home.

Cam sighed. "Jackson, our standing orders are to find technology to defeat the enemies of Earth. Okay, so we're screwed as far as finding anything goes, but..."

Daniel retorted angrily, "Oh, what makes you think we'll even be allowed to go through the Stargate to make things right?" He shook off Sam's hands as she tried to calm him down. He eyed her momentarily before looking back at Cam. "Even if we could, it wouldn't be like how it was – not for decades at least. The Asgard are probably dead here too. The Goa'uld more than likely still have that stranglehold on the galaxy that they had when we started out. We won't have the huge leg-up that we did. In short, it's all a mess out there."

Sam watched him sadly, knowing how accurate his words were. Nevertheless, she hated it when he got himself riled up, and for once, there was nothing she could do. The door opened and a man in a dark grey suit entered. He said quickly,

"You're here. Please follow me."

SG-1 exchanged a series of confused glances. They then shrugged and did as they were told. Noticing that Sam and Daniel were walking side-by-side, Cam cleared his throat. He glanced at the grey-suited man before looking at his team. He said quietly,

"Okay, standing order. You're standing either side of me." When Daniel shot him a rude look, Cam glared back. He said, "No fussin', Jackson. This is serious."


	11. Chapter 11

Sam was seated on a bench in the base's changing room. She was already dressed in an olive green flight suit, and she watched as Daniel slowly dressed himself. Cam had already finished and had walked out without a word to anyone, which had worried her but she had said nothing. She fought an urge to get up to help Daniel, knowing that he would get angry again. He was more defensive than he usually was when it came to injuries, but she couldn't blame him. If she had been in his position, she imagined that she wouldn't have taken it quite as well.

She glanced at him and then looked away when he struggled. She then appeared insecure as she thought of their mission. She said, "So you think it's doable?"

He looked at her in surprise; the surprise fading a little when he realised that she was trying not to help him. He sighed silently. He then said dryly, "What... what happened to that can-do attitude? You almost had me convinced."

She turned to look at him sharply, and said, "It was _your_ idea."

"Well, it was either that or have you and your new boyfriend glare at me."

She looked at him with a frown. She said, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

He retorted, "Standing order, my foot. He doesn't have Vala so he's..."

She looked at him reprovingly as she folded her arms across her chest. She then got up and helped him finish dressing despite his reluctance.

She said, "If you want a fight, you're going to have to try a lot harder than claiming what I think you're claiming." She zipped up his suit and looked at him meaningfully. "Look, I know it's hard... we're all feeling it, but we've got to go in as a team despite the consequences. We might not come back from this – any one of us might not come back, but this is what we do; this is what we've always done."

Daniel looked away from her, feeling a burning sense of loss. He looked at her when he felt her fingers on his cheek, and his harsh expression instantly melted. He needed her, and it seemed, time and time again, that fate was determined to keep him away from her somehow. He slowly moved to kiss her, taking some pleasure in the slight smile she always seemed to have whenever he did that and the way she closed her eyes.

He gently kissed her, his fingertips slowly caressing her jaw as she slung one of her arms around his neck. There was so much unsaid; so much undone, and he might never see her again. Mitchell had already emphasised that he would be with him in his F-15, while Sam would fly alone. He wanted to be with her; he wanted to go with her if the worst happened. He didn't want to be in a world again without her; she was everything to him.

Time. There was no time. They had to go. A knocking on the door – presumably from Mitchell – signalled that. Daniel reluctantly pulled back, wanting to tell her so many things but knowing, with regret, that he would never be able to tell her, even if things had been normal. It made it all the more harrowing during a time of crisis.

Sam felt the same way too. She turned away to wipe away an errant tear. They had a world to save. She tried to smile reassuringly but it fell short of reaching her eyes. She then kneeled down to tie his bootlaces, while he remained too emotionally wounded to get annoyed at her.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam walked ahead of them as they were escorted outside to the fighters. He had nothing to lose in a world that had gone half-crazy. What these people had failed to see, or realise, was that there was nothing more dangerous in a critical situation than a man with nothing left. Sure, he had his friends, but if he went, they would always have each other.

As they silently walked across the noisy air field, he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a photo and looked at it. There she was, just as he remembered her. It had been taken in Jackson and Sam's back yard, presumably by Jackson. Vala was seated in a lawn chair and Cam was crouched at her side, an arm around her and his head resting against hers.

He quickly put the photo away – just looking at it brought all the pain back again. He had a job to do. Maybe they could make it all okay again – maybe Sam would think of something; she always seemed to do crazy things like that.

Deep down, however; deep down, he knew the odds that they were up against. They had been brought in as a last resort because the government and the military had finally admitted that they didn't know what they were up against. He should be angry – in an ideal situation, he would have backed Jackson up in refusing to help – but the responsibility seemed heavier on his shoulders. There were times where he wished he could say what he wanted without fear getting into a lot of trouble. He could usually trust Jackson to say what everyone was thinking, and damn, that boy could use his civilian status to his advantage.

He lost his train of thought when he spotted the F-15's that he and Sam were to fly: it felt like the old days again. How he longed for those days when everything seemed brighter and full of life, compared to the gloomy days he had experienced in this world.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"So..."

Cam frowned a little as he focussed on keeping the F-15 airborne while being keenly aware that his fuel wasn't going to last for long. It had been a bad day. They had seen Washington D.C. being bombed by Goa'uld weapons fire. McMurdo base in Antarctica had been blown up. The pilot of their refuelling tanker had lost his life when the tanker got caught in the fire. Now they were on their way to Russia. Cam continued to frown as he realised that Jackson was trying to say something but was hesitating – that wasn't like the man.

Finally, impatient, Cam said, "Spit it out, Jackson."

Daniel shrugged nonchalantly. He said, "You know what I'm going to ask."

Cam resumed focussing on the task in hand. He said sharply, "And you know what I'm gonna answer. We're on a mission and I'm not going to emotionally compromise myself."

"It would help if you talked about it."

"Oh, no it wouldn't." Cam continued to frown. Sometimes the man didn't know when to leave well alone – that was his trouble.

Daniel paused momentarily, and said, "Come on, you've got to wonder where she is."

Cam retorted drily, "If I don't wonder and speculate, I don't start having psychotic episodes. All part of the deal so I don't crash this thing. Sam would find my burnt carcass and yell at me. You know what she's like when it's you in danger. You'd think she forgets sometimes that there's more than just you in SG-1."

Daniel sighed, and said, "Sometimes you forget too. We're a team – we work together; we cover each other's asses." He hesitated and then said, "If it helps, I miss her too. I miss Teal'c. At least I kinda knew that you and Sam were okay, or at least out there. I kinda have an inkling where Vala could be right now."

Cam's face immediately froze as his nightmares of the past year threatened to rise to the surface. He said coldly, "Don't, Jackson." He took a cleansing breath and said, his voice strained, "What happened to you having a sleep back there? It's gonna be a quiet ride."

Daniel rolled his eyes, and retorted, "Yeah, it's been so quiet so far."

"Don't make me come back there."

"I'd like to see you try." Daniel watched Cam in worry. He said quietly, "Mitchell, I've got to know you these past couple of years..."

Cam frowned again and said, "Hey, you're getting married to Sam – not me."

Daniel made a face, but then continued seriously, "I know you don't deal with emotional stuff very well..."

Cam snapped, "How am I supposed to deal with losing my wife and unborn child?" He resisted the urge to turn around to glare at his friend. "Tell me, Jackson. You seem to be the fucking authority there."

Daniel suddenly felt incredibly depressed as Cam's words sank in. He looked out of the window pensively, wondering if Cam had intended to hurt him. Cam, meanwhile, seemed to hesitate as he realised what he had said. He exhaled slowly and then mentally kicked himself for not thinking before he spoke.

Cam said, sounding guilty, "Aw, shoot, Jackson, man... you know that's not what I meant. I have a problem with not thinking stuff through when I'm pissed."

Daniel looked forward and nodded. He said calmly, "I know. It's not your fault. I just realised that I haven't really taken time out to think about Sha're in a long time."

Cam said, "Wanna talk about it? I got nothing to do for a while."

Daniel sighed quietly. "There's nothing to talk about. It was a long time ago, and I'm sure you've heard it all from Sam and Teal'c by now." Daniel's gaze moved to the window again. "I feel guilty... it's like I'm not allowed to think about her."

"_Not_ allowed to think about her?" Cam found himself frowning again, and he tried to stop as he thought of the wrinkles that he would get if he continued to do it. He said, "Boy, there's no rule that says you can't think about your first wife." Cam snorted with laughter momentarily, and then said, embarrassed, "Uh, okay, maybe at certain times."

Daniel shot Cam another dirty look. He said, "Okay, that's enough. If you're just going to make stupid jokes, I'm not talking to you."

Cam exhaled and retorted, "Yeah, like I'm giving you the radio. I don't want to say 'hi' to my lunch again while you get it on with Sam. I'm Sierra Golf Leader here. That comes with certain responsibilities... like keeping the radio for official transmissions only, and not letting the token archaeologist do whatever he wants."

Cam then smiled slightly as he imagined Daniel fuming in the back seat.


	12. Chapter 12

Somehow, Sam hadn't seen it coming, although she had hazarded a guess regarding Vala's possible fate. Teal'c was a surprise though. After all of the years that he – or at least the Teal'c that she had known – had fought against false gods, it was difficult for her to imagine him being back there again. It was painful too. Admittedly, she wasn't as close to him as Daniel and Jack were to him, or, in Jack's case as she had to grimly remind herself, _had been_. But she could just about imagine what was going through Daniel's head and Cam's too.

But Teal'c was Teal'c – he must still doubt his new master as he had Apophis, even if he was on a mission to avenge his death.

_Vala_. She knew that neither Cam nor Daniel needed that confirmation of the fate of their previously unaccounted team-mate. She herself may have only been very briefly host to a Goa'uld twice in her life, but that had been more than enough. She couldn't imagine it being on a permanent basis – she didn't want to.

She cautiously eyed the tense stand-off between Teal'c and the rest of SG-1. She knew what Teal'c was capable of; knew, perhaps, more than he did. However, his potential for violence was being off-set by both Cam and Daniel surprising him with personal information in order to win him over.

Sometimes, though, men didn't know when to stop. She wondered sometimes why she had been the only woman on SG-1 for so long prior to Vala joining. Perhaps they had needed someone, at some point in time, to stay 'stop' when even Daniel had taken leave of his senses. Perhaps that point in time had finally come now that Daniel was being a lot more defensive than he usually was.

The Russian military base was shaking around them, dust and debris falling from the ceiling as the base had come under attack by Qetesh. They needed to get away before the stand-off came to nothing through their deaths. Sometimes, she liked being in charge; it meant legitimately pushing her boys around when they became too obstinate for their own good. She shouted at them, well aware that the base was only minutes – or even seconds – away from destruction. Being blown up could be far worse than being shot by Teal'c; at least there might be some chance of survival, even if he would only go on to torture them.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Well, some things tended to remain the same despite everything. Cam had long suspected that Teal'c had never actually liked him, and this was further confirmed by this Teal'c pulling a zat on him. He hoped that it was because the Jaffa was being cautious, and not for any particular personal gripe against him. Even if this Teal'c didn't know him, it seemed that the universe had plenty gripes against him which perhaps explained the numerous ass-kickings he had received during his tenure on SG-1 alone.

Or maybe the universe was one sick, twisted bitch-goddess who had a thing for violence.

It was still good to see him, even if they were all up against the clock with Qetesh on their collective tails. He tried not to think about it. It wouldn't be Vala any more – it was just some snake who had taken over her body. Without that, she still wouldn't know who he was. Even so, the confirmation that Vala was indeed out there, even in her subjugated form, was like a kick in the guts. He had hoped that if she had been compromised by a Goa'uld that she might have died somehow. He might not have known Vala for as long as Jackson and Sam had known one another, but he knew that she would have chosen death over being host to Qetesh again.

They were surrounded by a vengeful Teal'c and his fellow Jaffa. He didn't fancy another ass-kicking any time soon. They had work to do and they were going to need Teal'c's co-operation if they were going to complete their mission. After all, even if Teal'c didn't like any of them, they still had a common enemy in Qetesh. He wanted to see her, even knowing that she wouldn't be Vala any more... but he knew that she wouldn't hesitate in killing all of them.

He remembered something from some story that Jackson had told him once, the precise details escaping him for the moment. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'. So, it wasn't exactly true when it came to Qetesh who had reportedly killed Ba'al, but he liked to think that it was true for them and for Teal'c. They had to undo all of this so that everything was back the way it was, with the Goa'uld gone, and all his friends back to the way they had been.

Cam stood with Sam and Jackson in front of the console as projections of stars and galaxies whizzed around above them. They had found Ba'al's time machine – the thing that had caused all of them and perhaps the rest of the galaxy, so much misery. If Sam hadn't been there – along with the possibility of her knowing what to do – he would have blasted the pile of junk to pieces.

The Wonder Twins were working together and, between them, had worked out that the thing was looking for solar flares. He remembered an old mission report from when SG-1 accidentally went back to 1969. In fact, he knew that report more than most as they had repeatedly teased him about that mission, claiming that Jack O'Neill had sired him then. As a result, he had practically memorised it in order to discover whether any of their teasing had been based in fact.

Sam had just worked out how the thing worked when they had company. Cam hoped that _she_ wasn't there. It was already messing with his head – if he actually saw her, he would be useless to his friends and he might as well be killed right there.

Of course, it needed time they didn't have. With a quiet sigh, he handed Jackson a gun. It was almost as though they were SG-1 again as they and Teal'c began firing on the Jaffa who arrived on the ring platform. It was a bloody mess, and it was sure to be a bigger one but there was no time to reflect on that as their mission depended on Sam being able to get the machine working.

He glanced over at Jackson as they took up defensive positions between Sam and the Jaffa. They might never make it, but if Sam could... maybe it wouldn't all be for naught. Maybe they had a chance.

Finally, Sam had the thing working, or at least he hoped. But it would take them back ten years too soon. What they do for ten years? The whole thing was just a stab in the dark.

And then it happened. He had never wanted to see it happen in his career – at least not so early in the day. They had got Jackson. They had killed Jackson – those bastards. Cam closed his eyes briefly – the time for mourning would come when they were through the 'gate. He couldn't bring himself to look in Sam's direction.

Sam, however, stared wide-eyed at Daniel's lifeless body. It lie crumpled behind her and she was expected to carry on working. She wanted to hold him – had he died or was he still hanging on? She quickly resumed working, not wanting to think about what was happening to him. If she could pull this off, they could go back and change things back to the way they had been; the way, in her estimation, that they should have been.

And then it happened. It felt as though something was shoving her quite hard in the lower back. Everything seemed to slow down as she felt a strong burning sensation in that region, and she closed her eyes. She sighed as she crumpled to the ground; at least Cam and Teal'c were there. At least she had dialled the Stargate. It wasn't over even if her own life would be.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_The darkness fades away, and it feels like she's floating towards a bright light. The light grows and grows as she moves closer and closer towards it. It's so bright but she doesn't feel the need to shield her eyes. She suddenly feels at peace, her worries forgotten. She knows she should be worried, but she can't bring herself to do so. She smiles as the light encompasses her, and she feels a warmness that permeates her very being. She has never felt so peaceful. _

_She sees faces of those that have passed away. Her mother. Her father. Jack. Janet. Martouf. Narim. Joe Faxon. Catherine Langford. She even recognises Selmak and Lantash. She looks around herself as the light hovers and then fades softly. They are in a large well-kept garden amongst green rolling fields. She sees and feels sunlight but she sees no sun. Everyone – including herself – is wearing white and they look happy; at peace. _

_They all welcome her warmly and hug her in turn. It feels so good to see each and every one of them. There is someone missing though and, for the first time, she feels fear. However, there is a tap on her shoulder and she turns to see him. He isn't wearing glasses – he doesn't need them – and he too is dressed in white. She grins at him and they hug tightly. _

_They hold each other's hands and then they walk with the others. Jack cracks a joke and they all laugh as they make their way to a white pavilion in the distance. _

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam threw his gun down and ran for the event horizon. He silently prayed that he wouldn't get shot as he did so. He would be more noticeable than Sam had been and, even if staff weapons were designed more to inspire fear than to accurately shoot anything, he recognised a few of the Jaffa, who, in his own timeline, he knew to be good shots.

The mission now rested on his and Teal'c's shoulders. Cam blinked as he reached the Stargate; he had heard staff blasts and a groan, and he feared the worst. He quickly dove into the active event horizon.

He tumbled through and arrived on the other side. It was dark other than the illumination provided by the active event horizon, and it was very hot; sweltering in fact. He didn't get up and he looked up at the event horizon with bated breath; waiting, hoping that the staff blasts he had heard hadn't hit Teal'c.

When at last the event horizon shut down, plunging him into darkness, he collapsed to the ground. He covered his face with his hands as tears surged in his eyes. He had lost everyone. They were all gone. What the hell was he meant to do for the next ten years? He seriously doubted his ability to go it alone. How could he? Being a part of SG-1 had made him believe he could do anything; it had given him the strength and the courage to boldly go and do all sorts of crazy.

He sobbed, not caring whether he could be discovered. He couldn't remember the last time he had ever felt so alone.


	13. Chapter 13

Cam stared out of his tent. In another life, perhaps, he would be amazed at where he was; when he was. But it was hard. He was the last one left. How could they have left him? He had always been confident about his abilities, but now that confidence evaded him. Without his team – his friends and his wife – he was nothing. He wasn't even dust in the wind.

But there was work to be done. He needed to fix things to make sure that they would live again. He had to ensure that he would be aboard the Achilles when Baal came aboard. It wasn't a thorough plan, but it was a plan nonetheless. At least he was on the right continent.

He fanned himself, remembering that he was hot – sweltering, in fact – in the nocturnal heat of the Giza Plateau. He had found work as a security guard, guarding dig sites that Professor Langford and his colleagues were working at. For a brief time, he had even had someone. A wisecracking Minnesotan by the name of Greta Rasmussen who had been visiting her second cousin, Professor Langford, and whose husband had been stationed in Cairo.

But, she had eventually chosen to go back to the States with her husband. Cam missed her from time to time but it was for the best, he felt. He just couldn't give her his whole heart and it hadn't been fair to either of them.

Ten years was a long time, and he wanted someone to spend the rest of the years with. Sure, he would leave them at the allotted time, but for once, he wanted to be selfish. There was a lot at stake and he had to ensure that his grandfather lived so he could go back to the States and father Cam's father.

He often thought about what he would do when he had accomplished his mission. Of course, he had to be careful who he talked to. Suspicions of madness aside, he didn't want to be the grandfather any of his friends. It would be too weird, even if the he of the restored timeline would be none the wiser. He had a fair few years left in him yet and living with that knowledge would be a bit much, even for him. He was already a Grandfather Paradox and a time traveller; he didn't need any more notches on his belt.

Although he might if he gained any more weight. He was now around the age Jackson had been, and he wondered just how the man had managed to keep his weight under control.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It had been a long time; a lonely long time, but he had made it. Professor Langford had agreed that he stow aboard the Achilles with the precious cargo: the Stargate, without the knowledge of the ship's captain. The Stargate was being taken to the United States as a precautionary measure. No-one, except for Cam of course, knew what it actually was but, if it was indeed a weapon, no-one wanted the Nazis to get their hands on it.

It was all on the QT. No-one aboard the ship knew what the cargo was; Langford didn't trust anyone except for Cam. They had got to know one another over the past decade, and Langford had been quite shrewd. Cam neglected the mention that the Captain was in fact his grandfather but it would have taken too long to explain, and he felt that, even if he had been clever enough, it would change the timeline way too much.

All he could now was wait. Cam grimly mused in the darkness that Baal was going to get the shock of his life.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was done. The timeline restored – or at least he hoped it had been – he now had time to feel his age. It had been a very long time, within which he had deliberately lost contact with his grandfather despite the temptation to get to know the man. It had been for the best, in some kind of quantum way, he surmised. Cam had been alone for most of those years. He had effectively lost his life, but at least now, his friends would have theirs again; he would live again. It would all be normal again, or as normal as it usually got for SG-1.

He sighed softly. He would never see home again; he would never see his friends again.

Now that there was some closure, he still, however, didn't feel like he could move on with his own life. He couldn't; how could he after everything that he had seen and done? And so, over the years, he had visited each and every one of them; keeping a quiet watch over them for the rest of his days.

First, there had been Jonathan "Jack" O'Neill: born October 20th, 1952. It had rained in Chicago then. He still remembered it quite clearly. He had given flowers to Mrs O'Neill, having made up some story about buying the wrong kind of flowers for his wife. It may have changed the timeline somewhat, his making acquaintances of the O'Neills, but he felt as though he had some kind of a link to them.

Then there had been Samantha Mary Carter: born May 16th, 1965. He had seen pictures of Jacob Carter before; some from when he worked with SG-1, and others from times of old. Nothing, however, could have prepared him for meeting the man in the flesh. He seemed quite a stern man who eyed him suspiciously. Cam saw Sam's stubbornness in him. The story that his granddaughter hadn't wanted the flowers he had bought, seemed to eventually wash. Who wouldn't believe a sprightly old man with tales of wartime action? Seeing Mrs Carter had been an even bigger shock and made him long for home even more. She had looked exactly like Sam; even down to the dimple when she smiled. He had held the infant Samantha Carter in his arms and he tried not to cry.

The next baby had taken some travelling. At his time of life, it had been an bigger struggle than he had expected, and, after developing heart disease, he had to be careful. But it was worth it. Daniel Alexander Jackson: born July 8th, 1965. Daniel had been born in a clinic in Olympia, Greece, where his parents had been excavating the site of Pheidias' workshop. They were the nicest couple he had met out of the babies he had visited up until then. It had been surreal meeting them – they had each looked like Jackson but in different ways. His mother had reminded Cam of the early photos of Jackson he had seen a long time ago. He smiled a little as he held Daniel in his arms and held a small fist that found its way out of the blankets. The baby had opened his eyes and stared up at him for a long moment, leaving Cam to wonder whether the baby had recognised him.

The last baby was a bit touch and go. He wasn't sure what would happen if he met himself, but he felt the need to make sure that he would still be born; after all, he had saved his grandfather's life. Cam had waited thirty years altogether; twenty of those years were spent wondering whether he had managed to pull it off. If he would be born, then he would finally have closure.

Cameron Francis Mitchell: born June 2nd, 1969. For an old man, the southern heat had been stifling, but it had been so worth it; a millionfold. He hadn't needed to pretend to be someone else too, or somewhat at least. He had introduced himself as a friend of Frank Mitchell's father, Angus MacGyver. After all the time that had passed, he still had trouble keeping a straight face whenever he introduced himself as that. He had held his infant self in his arms, and whispered silently,

"You're going to have one hell of a life, kid. One hell of a life... and you're going to meet some great people and do some crazy stuff."

When he passed the baby back to his mother, Cam finally felt something: a sense of deep peace. His job was done. He stayed by Wendy's side in the hospital until she could go home. Frank had insisted that he stay with them, and the men spent many a night talking about Cameron Mitchell Senior, after whom the infant Cameron had been named. Some nights, old Mrs Mitchell would join them, which made the whole set-up even more surreal to Cam.

On one cold winter's night, Frank was laid up in bed with 'flu, so Wendy came downstairs to help the frail Cam into bed. She softly called his name, well aware that he was recovering from a recent heart attack and was quite jumpy. When he didn't reply, she switched the living room light on and approached his armchair. She saw him slouched in the chair, but when she touched his hand to wake him, she found it very cold. She glanced at his face, noticing the slight smile upon his peaceful countenance.

Her eyes widening in panic, she screamed, and called for her husband.


	14. Chapter 14

_The line of poetry that Cam thinks of is from T.S. Eliot's The Hollow Men (1925)._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Back in the present, reunited with their former team lead, SG-1 stood in a chamber on the Tok'ra home world. They stood in the order which Cam had suggested, and the six of them periodically yawned and discreetly stretched as they fought to stay awake and/or alert during the proceedings. A group of Tok'ra officials wearing hooded robes were singing – they had been for so long that the hours seemed to merge into one another and seem like an endless blur of boredom for the team.

Around the room were Tok'ra, and in the space above the planet were many Jaffa and Tok'ra vessels who were standing guard over the planet. Even the Tok'ra in the chamber were armed, and SG-1 suspected that the choir of officials were heavily armed too. At the other end of the chamber was Ba'al in a stasis chamber. The former System Lord had been officially handed over to the Tok'ra by Jack earlier, who had brought Ba'al, under heavy guard, from the Alpha site.

Despite the significance of the ceremony, the team were beginning to regret coming. When Jack had exclaimed his displeasure for the countless time within just as many hours, Daniel was finally able to say something helpful. He said,

"It's almost over."

When they all looked at him questioningly, Daniel wondered quietly how no-one had learned more than rudimentary Goa'uld during their time on SG-1. He had been fully aware of what was happening in the ceremony, which was almost as painful as not knowing. Someone as old as Ba'al, who had done the things he had done, had crimes going back millennia, and of course, he thought, the Tok'ra felt the need to recite each and every one.

Ba'al was in stasis – it wasn't as though he was going to hear them. Even if he could, it wasn't likely that he'd feel any remorse. He, or rather _it_ was a Goa'uld after all.

Daniel looked at the friends of his that stood to his right. He was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home with his fiancée. He said, "The crimes they're listing are starting to sound familiar."

Jack exclaimed wearily, "_Crimes_? That's what they've been crooning about for the last three hours? God, you know... if you have these guys for your wedding, I'm not going."

Daniel regarded him blankly as Sam hid a smile. Vala remarked aloud, "Wouldn't that mean you not turning up to your own wedding?"

Jack shot her a look as Teal'c smirked for the briefest of moments. Cam cleared his throat, and said, "Quite the ditty, ain't it?"

Vala sighed as her gaze moved back to where Ba'al was being held in stasis at the other end of the chamber from them. Once again, she felt a pang of guilt. She knew more than most that it was the creature inside him that was to blame for everything that he had done. _He_, like she had been while host to Qetesh, had been forced to watch helplessly as Ba'al committed the long list of crimes that the Tok'ra were singing about, and those that they didn't know about. Now the host was forced to listen to all the accusations and he wasn't able to vindicate himself. What would happen to the man when they removed the symbiote? Perhaps Cameron would let her stay behind to help him.

A troubled Vala said, "It's not at all fair to the host, anyway."

Daniel frowned a little as he remembered Apophis. He turned to her and replied, "Vala, you don't really think there's any hope for the…" He paused, realising just why she was feeling sorry for Ba'al's host. "I mean, you were host to Qetesh for a relatively short period of time. Ba'al's been inhabiting this guy for over two thousand years!"

Vala didn't answer. Instead, she watched Ba'al's host, knowing just how he was going to feel when he was freed. Hopefully this time, the Tok'ra would take him in and support him, and not leave him to be on the run like she had been.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam felt as though nothing much had happened. Sure, Ba'al was dead; the last Ba'al clone or otherwise, thus symbolising the end of his reign of terror. But it just reminded him of something Jackson had once had as his email signature: 'This is the way the world ends; Not with a bang but a whimper.'

Everyone – or at least he – had expected big, it had turned out anticlimactic. He felt bemused when his friends shot him odd looks for expressing his thoughts on the matter. Nothing had happened. The Tok'ra had just extracted Ba'al's symbiote and thrown it on the floor where it had died. The way Jackson and O'Neill had gone on, he had partially expected fireworks and a spinning wheel with knives.

He wondered whether the Tok'ra ever had firework displays. He quietly imagined that, not wanting to ask Jackson to confirm some tedious truth; that the Tok'ra were far too responsible and serious to waste their valuable resources on such frivolity.

Well, it had been quite a day. Immense boredom aside, Ba'al was dead, and well, they were all safe. He tried not to worry about Vala more than the others, but he couldn't help it; she was carrying his child.

What a day indeed. O'Neill was offering to buy lunch for all of them. Cam wondered whether the standing up for seemingly aeons had got to the man. As far as he could recall, the General always got Jackson to pay. Cam chuckled to himself; maybe Sara was changing him... or the guy had something up his sleeve.

Still, a free lunch is a free lunch. His optimism faded when he discovered as they were leaving that Vala had chosen to stay. It had wrong-footed him. He didn't know what to do. At best, his knowledge of her life as Qetesh was hazy; both she and Jackson could be emotionally reclusive for Team USA. He glanced at Jackson – he seemed to understand her more than he did half the time. Cam couldn't help but feel a touch grumpy that Vala had asked Jackson instead of him.

One look from Jackson, however, suggested to him that perhaps she didn't want to worry him any more than he already had been. Cam didn't want to leave her but he reasoned with himself that this was one of those things where he had to trust her. Before she could make her way to Ba'al's former host, he jogged after her and called her name.

Vala stopped and turned back to him, expecting an argument. She was surprised, however, when Cam gently kissed her lips. He caressed her jaw as he gazed down at her, and he said, "I'll go on ahead; don't be home too late."

She smiled at him, appreciating that for once he was letting her take the lead. She nodded and said, "Thanks."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"So... I'm MacGyver's grandson."

Cam had long left the table to talk with Vala at another booth at the restaurant. This left Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c looking at Jack oddly. The General looked around at his old friends, and he wondered just how many times he had pulled their legs in the past for them to instantly dismiss whatever he said as a joke.

Jack said with a sigh, "For once, kids, I'm not making this up."

Cam and Vala eventually left their booth and joined the rest of the team. As SG-1 made room for them, Cam looked around at his friends, noticing the scepticism on most of their faces. He said, "What's up?" He looked at Jack. "General talking crap again?"

Daniel raised his eyebrows slowly and took a sip of his water. He said, "Always."

Jack shot Daniel a look. He then said to Cam, "I was just telling them that I'm MacGyver's grandson." When Cam and then Vala proceeded to look at him oddly, he sighed and glared at team. He said, "I always thought my grandfather was from northern Minnesota... but it turns out he ain't my daddy's daddy. Grandma met some guy in Egypt."

Daniel said sceptically, "Egyptian MacGyver?"

Jack shook his head, and said, "Nuh-uh. Angus MacGyver. Apparently he was from North Carolina, and he worked as security guard in Giza; something about guarding shovel bum sites."

Daniel almost choked on his water at his profession being described in such a way. He almost choked again when he realised what Jack had said. He said, "What year was this?"

Jack shrugged and said, "You're the one marrying a scientist; you tell me. He screwed my granny and then she went back to the States with her husband. Funny lady never took her husband's last name either."

Sam looked at Daniel incredulously as though she had just realised something. However, Teal'c beat her to it. Teal'c said with interest, "Then your grandfather may have worked for Catherine Langford's father."

Sam nodded in agreement and then looked at Jack, amazed. "Do you think he ever saw the Stargate?"

Daniel shook his head and said, "It's not likely if he was just security." He looked at Jack. "Are you sure his name's Angus MacGyver?"

Jack nodded. "I'll admit I double-took when I saw it. Some distant cousin or something of mine kept a lot of granny's stuff and sent me some letters she wrote." He nodded at Daniel who suddenly looked highly interested. "You can drop by mine later and drool over them."

Cam suddenly frowned. He said, "Angus MacGyver?"

Everyone looked at him curiously, and he said, "That sounds familiar."

Jack retorted, "That'll be 'cos of the TV guy you all keep comparing me too."

Cam shook his head, ignoring Jack's sarcasm. He said, "No, that's not it. I've heard it before." He looked at Vala and said, "Ring a bell?"

Vala rolled her eyes and said, "For the last time, I'm not your memo pad."

Cam bit back a retort and was then faced with the rest of his team looking at him smirkingly. Cam sighed and said, "Hormones."

They all ended up grinning when he grimaced at a sudden pain in his foot and he glared at Vala sharply; his wife choosing to look innocent for the moment. He turned back to his friends. "As I said..." He paused, glancing at his wife to make sure she wasn't going to do anything to him. "... hormones."

He appeared annoyed when she suddenly had possession of his wallet and proceeded to go through it, giving his money and various cards out to their friends. Jack looked at her admiringly, and then said, "Well, that's lunch settled. Thanks, Mitchell."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam stifled a yawn as she tidied up the kitchen at home. After washing items of crockery and cutlery that had been left out, she proceeded to wipe down the surfaces. Making sure that the back door and the windows were locked, she switched the light off and left. She checked the downstairs before ascending the stairs.

She found Daniel standing in the dark at their bedroom window. The window was open, and he was only wearing his boxers. He seemed contemplative, and she didn't want to disturb him. It had been a long day, and he needed some space to breathe after Ba'al's extraction had given them all some much needed closure with regard to the Goa'uld. She knew that Daniel at least hadn't expected the closure, or felt that he needed it, but it was something he had to deal with by himself.

She stood in the doorway, watching him. She wondered, like she had so many times previously, why she and Daniel had not got together sooner than they had. His voice broke her train of thought.

"You're watching me again."

She appeared embarrassed, as though she had stumbled across something she wasn't supposed to be seeing. She was about to turn away when Daniel turned towards her. He appeared mildly amused, and he said, "So you're going to sleep downstairs now, are you?"

Sam rolled her eyes. He could be incorrigible when he wanted to be. She entered the room and hugged him. With his arms still around her, he went back to look out of the window. She said quietly, "You looked like you were thinking."

"Well, believe it or not, I can think and do other things at the same time."

She shook her head slightly and said, "Daniel, come on, you know that I'm about the only person on whom the sarcasm doesn't actually work." She looked at him, worried. "I know you're hurting. It's only human."

He shook his head as he looked down at her with a peaceful smile. He said softly, "I'm not hurting, Sam. For once, I'm not. I was just thinking of all the things we can do now without the spectre of the Goa'uld hanging over us." His smile widened as he looked down at her. "I don't say this to you as often as you deserve... but, I love you."

She grinned up at him and then kissed him. She said, "I love you too."

He continued to hold her in his arms as he looked out of the window again. He said, "Good. It'll probably make this whole getting married thing easier."

She suddenly appeared concerned as she looked up at him. She said, "You're getting cold feet?"

He shook his head distractedly. He then snapped himself out of whatever daydream he had lost himself in. He looked down at her and said, "I'm just worried that I'm sealing the deal for you. I mean, you probably don't want to spend the rest of your life with just me."

She felt somewhat hurt by his worry. She said, trying not to cry, "Of course I do. What about you?"

He nodded, still looking worried. "Same here." He suddenly appeared happy again and he kissed her. He said, "You're too sane to be lumbered with me for the next however-many years."

She laughed. "That's where your wrong, Danny."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Jack lie in his bed with Sara in his arms. They were both naked, the sheets just about keeping their modesty. He stroked her stomach, the General drowsily nuzzling her neck. Despite being behind her and not being able to see her face, he knew that she was worried about something. He wanted nothing better to sleep but his instinct was flaring up and he knew something had to dealt with there and then.

He let her go and sat up. He switched the bedside light on and waited, his back resting against the headboard. Why she had to screw with his head now was anyone's guess, he thought. He watched as she turned to lie on her back, and she looked up at him. They had come to this arrangement some time ago in an attempt to cut down on their shouting matches. If either of them sensed that the other was worried about something, they would wait for the other to talk.

Sometimes it got quite infuriating for Jack to wait for Sara when she decided to take her sweet old time.

Sara seemed tense, and he wondered why he hadn't spotted it earlier. She said, "You promised you'd tell me what you do."

He instantly froze, his mind hastily thinking back to before he went to the Tok'ra planet. Had he said something to her to get her off his tail? He paused and suddenly remembered something he had said and silently cursed himself. What a time for it to crop up when he needed some shut-eye. He was an old man after all, he thought; it was much harder for him to stay awake.

He sighed softly. She needed to know the truth before they could become Mr and Mrs again - she deserved that much at least. He reached over to stroke her hair, and he said, "Well... there's this thing called a Stargate and..."


	15. Chapter 15

She infuriated him a lot of the time – most of the time – but as time rolled on, he had come to respect and, of course, love her. She was his world – he had finally found that one person who made him think twice before he risked his life off-world or Earth-side. He also would do anything for ever, including risking his own life if need be. He hoped that that wouldn't happen and that he would be with her for the rest of his life.

Vala seemed to need a lot of sleep these days, but he didn't mind. He could only imagine what she was going through. Carrying twins was even more of a big deal. At least, for now, he got a lot more sleep than usual as he kept her company. He was keenly aware that when she came to term, he might never sleep again.

He tenderly stroked her cheek, careful not to wake her. From nowhere, there was a sudden urge to tell her how much he had missed her between the time that they had left her on the Tok'ra homeworld to when she returned, around a couple of hours later. He mentally shook himself – he was just being stupid, he surmised.

As he continued to muse, she opened her eyes and looked right at him. He liked the quiet moments that they shared; she had lately left most of the humiliation and pranks for when they were in the presence of their friends. She had always been an exhibitionist. He smiled at her, his eyes clear as he gazed at her lovingly. His fingers moved to her hair as he played with the long dark strands, seemingly mesmerised by it.

Vala rarely liked to admit it, but she was glad of his presence in her life; the way he was there for her, even when she deliberately drove him crazy. Even when he ended up yelling at her and storming out, she never doubted that he'd return. For the first time, she had allowed herself to completely fall in love with someone, to open her heart to him and to have him do the same. She had chosen him because – well, there were a lot of reasons; _good_ ones as she repeatedly asserted to herself.

As memories returned of her time on the Tok'ra homeworld, her clear gaze soon became clouded. Cam instantly noticed this and he became concerned. He asked, "Vala?"

When she refused to talk; instead, lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling, he sighed wearily but forced himself to be patient. If he considered Jackson to be stubborn, she was far worse than even him.

She sighed exasperatedly and then looked at him. She said, anguished, "The Tok'ra are taking him in."

Realising after a beat that she was talking about Ba'al's host, he looked even more worried. He said, "Hey, surely that's a good thing."

"They're giving him a symbiote to help him through the pain he's going through now."

"Okay, now you know I don't like the whole idea of that, but it sounds like they're helping him. All we would have done is give him shitloads of counselling... none of which would have been adequate for the shit that he must have seen."

Vala looked up at the ceiling once more, the anguish in her eyes increasing. She said, her voice heavy, "When you have a Goa'uld within you, whatever is left of you is forced so far down into the darkness, and you are left to watch helplessly as they control your body and commit unthinkable acts of brutality." She turned to look at him dramatically. "I was only host to Qetesh for a short time. Ba'al had this guy for thousands of years. The things he must have seen..." Suddenly tears surged in her eyes, and she spoke tremblingly. "He couldn't even tell me his name. He was so terrified. All he could say was 'I'm free'."

When she burst into tears, he quickly hugged her, feeling inadequate as an emotional support. He had no idea, having not been directly affected by the Goa'uld. It was times like these when he wished that he had had Jackson's insight, as painful as that must have been for the man to gain. He kissed her hair, the Colonel feeling utterly helpless. What could he possibly do?

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam stood in the doorway of the living room. She couldn't believe just how awkward she felt in her own home. However, she knew that Sara didn't trust her completely even if that whole Jack thing had come to nothing. So Sam watched as an inconsolable Sara stared at nothing as she sat on the sofa with Daniel standing nearby, the archaeologist offering her some quiet words of comfort.

So she knew. Sam tried not to be impatient, but if Sara was like that after only hearing about what they had all been involved in, then how did she imagine SG-1 felt after actually going through it? She watched as Daniel sat down next to Sara and offered her a mug. Sam managed to force down a smile as she thought of how when she had had trouble understanding something that Jack had done, Daniel had always had an explanation; well, almost always. There were things that Jack had said or done that even Daniel couldn't rationalise.

"I... I can't go through with this whole thing. I can't marry him again..."

Sam's heart fell into her shoes, but she surmised that Sara was just being hysterical. It still felt like a let-down, and she couldn't help but send some angry thoughts Jack's way. After all, he had left Daniel to deal with it all when it hit the fan. She watched as Daniel looked at Sara in deep concern, as though he was listening to every word that she was saying and that he was really understanding what she was saying and her point of view. She couldn't help but smile then – that was so Daniel.

She turned away, pretending to glance at something in the hallway. She heard Daniel say, "He's still the same pain-in-ass he always was. It changes nothing."

Sara looked up at Daniel, anguish in her eyes. She spoke in a wobbly voice. She said, "How could he have hidden it from me?"

Daniel replied quietly, "Because, for once, he thought about another person and not just about himself. It would have put you at risk, and hell, Sara, you don't need me to tell you that he thinks the world of you, as obstinate as he is."

Nothing was said for some time as Sara remained in a state of anguished shock; as Daniel kept her company; and as Sam continued to feel awkward. Daniel turned to look up at Sam, and she noticed that something flickered in his eyes; just for a second. He then smiled at her for a moment, and she didn't feel quite as awkward as she had been. He went back to talking to Sara while she remained standing.

Suddenly Sara rubbed her eyes and appeared embarrassed as she looked at Daniel. She said, "God, what the hell must you guys be thinking of me; some old woman going ape on your couch?" She reached for Daniel's hand gratefully. She looked back at Sam, and then at him. She said, "I'm sorry for all this. It's just that..."

As Daniel insisted that it was nothing, Sam took the opportunity to enter the room. She sat down on the other side of Sara from Daniel. Sam said softly, "I can imagine how you must be feeling right now, but he had his reasons." Sam smiled a little as she looked past her at Daniel. Her gaze moved back to Sara as she said, "Now that he's finally told you about what we do, you can hear the stories that we've been saving up to tell you one day."

Sam glanced down at her hands as Sara looked bemused. The colonel said, "Well, some of them aren't at all nice, but, you know, there are some good ones." Sam looked up at Sara again and she gradually smirked. "This one involves cake... and Jack."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel groaned as he sat down on the decking at the back of the house. It had been a long day; too long and too eventful for a man of his age, he felt. Jack and Sara had broken up and reconciled more times than he would have liked to have thought about. Vala had then kept coming over to try to sneak alcohol without Mitchell's knowledge. _That_ had been a tiring period of his life that he would never get back.

He closed his eyes as he listened to the stillness of the night. There were times where he liked being alone with his thoughts, or with nothing but the distant sound of a car alarm sounding. He also liked that when he got like that, Sam seemed to know to avoid him; although, he wouldn't have minded her company. She was the only one whom didn't annoy him when the rest of the world went crazy.

It was as though their future – his and Sam's – kept hanging in the balance. He knew that if Jack and Sara called things off, that he and Sam would have had to postpone out of respect. A double wedding is a double wedding, after all, even if the promise was initially put forward by an inebriated Jack. They each had a lot of history between them.

He looked up at the stars as his thoughts inevitably turned to the years that had passed. Another life; another time. He had long put the pain and guilt into perspective, and had accepted that life took one on twists and turns to make one appreciate the good times that much more.

When he was alone, he allowed himself to think about Sha're – it just felt wrong doing it around Sam. It was the one thing that he couldn't begin to share with her. He silently spoke to her as he often did in such circumstances. He had loved her; he loved her. After all the time that had passed, he was philosophical about what had happened to her. At least she was at peace now. Perhaps in another universe, things had worked out for the better.

He hesitated to think how things might have been. That part of his life was over now; a distant memory as much as he hated to describe that time of his life as. He had been another man; completely different to how he had turned out.

The twists and turns that life had pushed him along had led him to Sam. For the first time since Sha're, he felt ready to be with someone on that level again; to be able to open up and share almost anything. He hadn't even needed to think about it – it just came naturally with Sam.

He thought back to when she had been away in Atlantis. He had been unbelievably lonely then. Now she was back, even if she would eventually go again, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was with him and until the day she would be in charge of a ship, he was never going to let her out of his sight.

Daniel looked up on hearing the back door quietly swing open. He instantly felt happier as Sam sat down next to him and leaned against him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and she sighed happily. There had been too much drama today – even by their own standards – so it felt nice just to be able to breathe. She smiled when wrapped an arm around her, and he kissed her.

She said, concerned, "You okay?"

He kissed her again, a peaceful expression on his face. He said softly, "I'm more than okay, Sam." He gazed down at her lovingly. He said, "What about you?"

"It's been a stupid day, hasn't it?"

He hummed in reply as they both took in the stillness of the night. Neither said anything as the minutes drifted by. Suddenly, Daniel spoke.

He said, "You know... I don't think we should wait for Jack."

Surprised, Sam looked up at him. She said, "Daniel?"

He shook his head and said, "Oh, come on, Sam... it's not fair on Sara, putting her under such pressure. Okay, I know that they've waited for us, but they clearly have issues... and I'm not sure Sara's going to come back so quickly from everything."

She rested her head against his chest again. She said, "Well, you know, the General was so excited about it."

Daniel sighed quietly. He said, "It wasn't just us that he was excited about... he was hoping Teal'c would get married on the same day; then he wouldn't have to wear his dress blues more than necessary. That man is nothing if not far-thinking when it comes to what he's going to wear."

She chuckled in amusement. She then said, "He's going to be annoyed when we tell him."

"He'll understand. After all, he knows as well as the rest of us that things don't always go to plan... especially for us."

"That's saying something." She sighed and then sat up slowly. "Come on... Teal'c's due back soon. Hopefully this time he won't be in a bad mood."

He chuckled in disdain. "Are you kidding? It isn't a good trip to Hak'tyl for him if he doesn't have at least five arguments with Ish'ta."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Teal'c, dressed in his traditional robes, strode down the gateramp, the Jaffa clutching his staff weapon. Home at last, he thought, as he sighted his friends waiting for him at the end of the ramp. He couldn't have been happier, especially after the perceived indignities he had suffered at the hands of the woman he begrudgingly loved.

He didn't feel like smiling despite being happy to see them all. He really wanted to punch something, repeatedly. So instead of greeting his friends happily, he greeted them with a furious silence as he walked right past them and out of the nearest door. He loved his friends – they always knew when to stay clear of him... except DanielJackson, but then there was too much between them in their shared and separate pasts for Teal'c to get too annoyed with him.

But for once, DanielJackson didn't follow him. Perhaps, Teal'c thought with a slight smile, that ColonelCarter had given him too much to live for.

The five remaining members of SG-1 stared at where Teal'c had gone, and then at one another. They all seemed to exchange little shrugs as though half-expecting Teal'c to do such a thing. Cam remarked, troubled,

"You'd think the man would say something at least."

His team-mates shrugged in a sense of jaded helplessness. They had all known Teal'c for too long to get fazed by his quirks and foibles. Vala, who had had her arms around Cam, opened her eyes as though sharply waking from a deep sleep. As Cam paused before turning around suddenly, Jack leapt out of the way as he sighted something on the floor. The old General said, puzzled,

"Holy shit! Monsoon!"

Sam yelled for a medic as Cam tried to make sure that Vala was okay. She held onto him as she took a few deep breaths. Cam tried not to be frantic but he failed. He said,

"Baby, say something. What's wrong?"

A tearful Vala watched as Cam looked down and noticed what had happened. Cam quickly moved to her side as Daniel moved to the other. Sam continued to yell for a medical team while Jack looked on, a little freaked by the situation.

Vala said, pointlessly by this point, "My water's broken."


	16. Chapter 16

Vala was in a bed in the Infirmary, unable to sleep as the minutes turned into hours. After the excitement of earlier, all she could do was wait for the inevitable. She shuddered each time she thought of her previous pregnancy; of the terrible outcome of it. This time, thankfully, she would bear normal children rather than a genetically engineered monster. Still, she often thought of how things could have been had she been successful in saving her daughter from herself.

She looked to her side to see Cam fast asleep in the chair, his head resting next to her left hand. She wondered – not for the first time – how long she had been in labour for. It was quite infuriating to have to wait for so long as her contractions came at regular albeit prolonged intervals.

She looked at Cam again and smiled tiredly. He had stuck by her – for better or worse. He had been there and she hadn't scared him off. She reached over to caress his head, closing her eyes as her fingers travelled through his hair. He had missed his last haircut after she had told him that she liked his hair shaggier than he usually had it; thinking of that made her smile. He would do anything for her.

Soon – or _eventually_ as she thought exasperatedly from time to time – they would be able to hold their children in their arms. Cameron had told her stories for months of all the things he would do with their sons. They would be a _family_ at last rather than just a _couple_, and perhaps Jack would finally stop referring to her as 'Bonnie' after a seemingly perpetually pregnant character in Family Guy.

She was impatient, however. She wanted nothing more than for it to all end, and for her not to be carrying around what felt like a whole bag of bowling balls. She grimaced at a particularly rough contraction and grabbed the gas mask next to her and inhaled the painkiller gas deeply. She was rather squeamish when she knew she was going to feel pain; something she couldn't even bring herself to admit to Cameron.

She had just put the mask down when she suddenly appeared panicked. Before she could alert Cam, she cried out in pain as her contractions intensified, each one feeling like a stab in the gut. The next thing that she was aware of, other than the pain, was of Carolyn and a nurse at her bedside. Vala closed her eyes as her contractions hit her with increasing force and frequency. She felt a hand hold hers; a hand she would know in the dark.

She felt Cam's lips on her forehead, and he whispered to her, "I love you, baby."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"You know, if I wasn't too old... what would we have named our children?"

Daniel had been resting his head against Sam's stomach as they lie sprawled, yet fully-clothed, on their bed in their shared quarters on base. Up until then, he had been staring into the darkness in a sense of inter-crises bliss. He looked up at her, surprised by the question as she continued to absent-mindedly stroke his hair. The very subject of children had never been fully dealt with in their relationship, but he had known all to well just how sensitive she was when it came down to biology.

He suddenly smiled as he thought of something. He said, "Sam..." He turned over to look down at her in the dark. "... we could at least try. You're not too old. You still have your period."

Sam sighed, the sound a sound of longing in the almost-darkness of their room. He didn't know, but he had a large inkling of just how much she wanted a child. She said defeatedly, "What's the point? The kid would be at risk of so many things if I did manage to conceive... and that's if I don't miscarry. Forty-four of all pregnancies after forty end in miscarriage."

Before he could offer her reassurance, she spoke, trying to sound happy. She said, "I'll be fine, Daniel. It's just hard right now knowing that Vala can do something else that I can't."

"But you can... well, you can give it a shot at least instead of giving up so easily. The Samantha Carter I know doesn't give up that easily." He smiled at her teasingly.

Sam smiled a little, amused by the teasing tone in his voice. She continued to smooth his hair. She said quietly, "Well, the gal you know can do most things except for the thing she really wants."

"Let's try at least... then we can say we've done it. If it doesn't work out, there's always IVF or adoption. Come on, Sam, '... _in the Kingdom of Hope, there is no Winter._'"

She laughed despite her growing depression. She gently hit him on the shoulder, and said, "Oh, Daniel, I'm going to start throwing things if you tell me how it's your favourite proverb again." She sighed. "I wonder if it's happened yet."

Daniel paused, somewhat wrong-footed by the change of subject. He said, "Uh, well, there was talk of a phone call or a knock on the door or something like that. We've just got to sit tight; maybe roll by in a little while. Carolyn's only going to get pissed at all of us again."

He once more rested his head on her stomach, a thoughtful expression on his face. He said softly, "You know, if we'd had a girl... I always figured we'd name her after your Mom."

Surprised, she looked down at him. She said, "You did?"

He hummed in acknowledgement. He said, "I could never decide on the name of our hypothetical boy though."

She smiled dreamily as she lost herself in her thoughts. She said, "Michael."

Now it was his turn to be surprised. He said, "Michael?"

"Uh-huh."

"Uh, Sam... what about my last name?"

She smirked and then shrugged. She said, "I never got that far. I just like the name. Archangel Michael. I'm not religious; it's just a mental image I have of a warrior angel with a glowing sword." She smiled self-consciously as she looked down at her hands. "Okay, so I'm nuts, but..."

He smiled in amusement as he looked at her. He said, "In the Jewish Talmud, Archangel Michael told Sarah – Abraham's wife – that she was with child."

Sam continued to caress his hair, the colonel not saying anything as she became once more lost in thoughts and regrets. Silent tears soon ran down her cheeks. Before she knew it, Daniel had got up and was now cradling her in his arms as he rested his cheek against her hair. He kissed her, his own face fraught with emotion.

He said softly, "Samantha... you can't give up hope just yet. If it happens, it happens; if it doesn't, we'll find some other way."

She sniffed in his embrace, her chest hurting with a deep longing. She whispered, "It's so hard."

He closed his eyes as he held her tighter, knowing at least some of her pain. He whispered in reply, "I know... I know."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Teal'c was standing in the observation room overlooking the Infirmary. His earlier fury had vanished when Vala had gone into labour. His friend was now doing the one thing that had given him a life-long respect for women. He doubted whether the hardiest of male Jaffa could endure a mother's pain as she bore warriors of the future. It was times like these that he greatly missed his own mother. His wife too; his wife especially.

He hadn't known Vala for as long as he had known his other friends here, but he respected her just as much as he did them. She and they and everyone had gone through so much together and separately. He was happy for her despite his concern with regard to her wellbeing. Finally, she would be getting a child – a normal child – with ColonelMitchell.

Teal'c couldn't help but smile as he thought of the latter. Cameron Mitchell had indeed come far – so far since he had joined the SGC. Teal'c frequently, albeit silently at first, appreciated ColonelMitchell's initial attempts to befriend him. The man was honest and genuine, and not trying to befriend him because he felt he had to; he had wanted to.

Soon his friend would feel the greatest joy that a man can feel; that of holding his children in his arms for the first time. He was indeed lucky – twins in Jaffa culture were seen as a blessing of the gods in the old days. Even though he knew better now, he still saw it as a blessing; triple-fold now.

Teal'c stepped a little closer to the glass in concern as Vala started crying out in pain. The arrival of her children was imminent; evidently so. He wanted to leave, knowing that it wasn't his place to be there in this culture. However, he remained due to his own culture. Watching a woman give birth was one of the rites of passage for a young Jaffa warrior; to learn of one's origins and the origins of their brother warriors made them respect one another more; their mothers and wives especially. This was the sacrifice that women made, and throughout history – both Jaffa and Earth – women had been sidelined and subjugated. This made no sense, for no man could do what a woman could; no man would.

Teal'c had no memory of ever wincing... but wince he did. Finally, he turned away to give his friends some privacy, but there was a smile upon his face.

Indeed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam breathed a sigh of relief after enduring being screamed at and blamed for everything that Vala could think of. His hand was very sore and he had a feeling that his face might be bleeding or bruised after she had hit him during a series of moments of unbearable pain. He looked at Vala who was lying down, her eyes closed as she caught her breath. It was all over; after nine months of watching, waiting, hoping.

His chest felt weird as though he was having trouble breathing but was too distracted to notice. He loved her so much and hated that she had had to go through it all by herself. He leaned down and kissed her. He sat back and looked at her; watching the woman who had given him everything that he could ever want.

He grabbed her hand and kissed it. He whispered, "I love you. I love you so much."

Not opening her eyes, she blinked nonetheless. She said, annoyed, "Go check on the babies, idiot."

Cam glanced at her in bemusement before staring at Carolyn and the nurse. All he could do was thank them. When he stopped, all he could do was just stare as they gave him his sons. His sons. He was seated in his chair again and he stared down in utter amazement at the two squirming and pink baby boys in his arms.

He began to cry. He couldn't stop and he didn't care that he couldn't. He looked up to see Vala staring at him, tears falling from her own eyes. He looked back down at the babies and he grinned. He laughed and said, happy,

"Well, aren't you two just the bee's eyes?"

He looked up at Vala again to see her looking a little annoyed. He frowned a little and he said, bemused, "Can I at least hold what I've been carrying around for forty weeks and pushing out for the past day?"


	17. Chapter 17

Daniel found himself grinning idiotically but he didn't care. He looked down at the baby in his arms and soon forgot that the rest of the world existed. He watched as the baby yawned and then appeared to wearily snuggle into his blankets as though settling himself in for the long-haul of being stared at and cooed over. Daniel couldn't help but think that this twin was the most like Mitchell.

He looked at Sam next to him, his fiancée holding onto him as she looked down at the baby too. His smile faltered a little as he thought of what they might not have. He forced himself to forget about it for now; they didn't need any rain on their happiness. It wasn't often that he was this happy without Sam's help.

Sam quickly kissed him, a peaceful smile on her face as she resumed leaning on him. He kissed her hair, and they went back to looking at the baby in his arms.

She whispered, "I think we should go home soon." When he glanced back at her distractedly, she smiled shyly. She said, "I'm just sayin'..."

He smiled as he looked back at her. He kissed her and whispered cheekily in reply. He said, "I was just thinkin'..."

"Hey! Cut that out!"

They both looked up sharply, surprised at the exclamation. They saw Cam standing over them, the colonel holding his other son. He looked at them semi-sternly and said, "While my boys are in the room, y'all are not gonna be discussin' or even thinkin' about bumpin' uglies."

Daniel and Sam exchanged an amused look. The former remarked, "Uh, how come he always lays on his accent when he's yelling at us?"

Sam said with a smirk, "Interesting turn of phrase there too."

Cam glared at them as he cradled his son. He retorted, "How come y'all do all you can to piss me off?"

Sam continued to smirk as she looked to Daniel for an appropriate answer. Daniel replied, feigning innocence, "Uh, because it's our job... you're the jock; we're the geeks. We're probably the kind of people you Melvined at school."

Cam looked at the two of them in surprise. He said, dismayed, "Nuh-uh, that's more Jack O'Neill's line of work and you know it. Just 'cos I played football at school and college doesn't mean I dropped geeks in the dumpster for fun." He rolled his eyes. "Okay, so I got into scraps... but never with anyone smaller or weaker."

He pointed out the ridge in between his forehead and nose. He said, "I've had my nose busted so many times, it's a miracle that it ain't plastic."

"Your nose is fine."

They all turned to look at Vala. She was dressed in a hospital gown and seated cross-legged on the Infirmary bed. She was reading a magazine in her lap. She glanced up to see her friends' scrutiny and she rolled her eyes. She looked up at Cam and said,

"You always find some way to bring your nose into the conversation. You're not going to get any pity sex. First of all, Daniel and Samantha are just itching to get away to make babies of their own... and after what those babies of yours did to my vagina, I'm not sure I want your tool anywhere near me."

Sam and Daniel cleared their throats in embarrassment as they tried to look anywhere but at Vala or Cam. Cam spun on his heel and glared at his wife. She had folded her arms across her chest and was now glaring at him challengingly. He tried hard to keep his cool when he next spoke and this much was obvious despite the redness of his face.

He said, "Vala..."

Vala turned away from him, appearing rather annoyed. Daniel and Sam exchanged a worried glance this time. Sam raised her eyebrows at him meaningfully as Vala and Cam proceeded to argue. Daniel eventually managed to tear his eyes away from the escalating fight and he nodded at Sam. He quietly got up and lie the baby down in its cot. Glancing back, both he and Sam left that particular treatment room as Vala looked to be contemplating throwing things at Cam.

Finally out in the corridor, Daniel and Sam stopped. Sam looked at Daniel in worry and then back towards the Infirmary. She said, "That seemed pretty bad."

Daniel said grimly, "_Not_ their worst."

"Still, she's just had two babies."

He whispered, "It's their way of dealing with stress. I wish we could do that."

She rolled her eyes and retorted, "Sure, 'cos you're _never_ childish."

He looked at her despairingly. He then put an arm around to hold her close as he kissed her forehead. He said softly, "Come on, let's go find Teal'c again and then go home." He smirked cheekily. "Don't think I'm going to go easy on you now."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

He had flown straight to Minnesota. It had always been a release from stressful periods of work. He appeared thoughtful as he contemplated the number of times he had hidden there: sometimes alone; sometimes with his friends. This time, he had to be alone; he needed to be. Right now, there wasn't any room in his head for his own brand of hospitality.

He sat by the lake behind the cabin, his fishing rod forgotten beside him on the ground. He couldn't even bring himself to fish like he usually did when he needed to wind down. He sighed as he picked up a bottle of beer and just as tiredly put it back down again. He couldn't bring himself to do anything; so he glumly sat by the still waters as the sun dipped behind the woods.

He looked up at the sky. It was cloudy and he felt that it was too big for him; like there was too much of it all of a sudden. He loved her; of course he did, but he wondered whether waiting to tell her everything was as good as an idea as it had appeared in his head. For once, perhaps he should have listened to Daniel. He made a face; listening to Daniel wasn't an automatic thing for him, or even a Plan B.

Now he had no-one but himself with whom to share the stupid things he usually uttered when he felt at peace with everything, and which he would never say around his closest friends even. He was always worried that they'd laugh at him – or, at least, Teal'c would smirk while Mitchell tried to be polite; and Carter and Daniel would take turns teasing him. Sara, however, never did. She listened patiently and probably stored it away to whack him over the head years down the line, or at least embarrass him at some point.

He couldn't help but blame himself. There were far too many 'should haves', 'would haves', and 'could haves'. Sara didn't want anything to do with him and he couldn't blame her; _he_ didn't want anything to do with himself on most days. It was nice having Sara around to distract himself from himself.

"Well, it must be serious if you can't even nurse a beer."

He looked up sharply, partially expecting the voice to be a figment of his imagination. He felt an almost crushing sense of relief and then a just as crushing sense of remorse and pain as he saw her standing behind him, deckchair in hand.

He remarked hoarsely, "Well, are you gonna stand there all evening?"

She looked at him, something indescribable in her eyes, and not the good kind of indescribable he usually saw. She said sadly, "Why didn't you say anything?"

He folded his arms across his chest defensively as he watched the water. He said gruffly, "I seem to remember saying something to you and you predictably went to cry at Daniel's."

She rolled her eyes and then unfolded her chair. She put it down next to him and sat down. She said, "Oh yeah, Jack O'Neill. When normal people have life-changing revelations, they usually ease the other person into them; whereas you just push people right into it."

She looked at him and he wondered why she was sitting just as close as she usually did. Perhaps there was hope for them. He didn't like to hope. Daniel was the one who hoped for things; who always seemed to have hope. Tough jaded air force generals weren't supposed to do things like that, but said air force generals weren't always fortunate enough to have someone like Sara in their lives, or a whole lot of other stuff that he had.

He leaned back further in his chair as he took to looking up at the sky again. Looked like rain. Ordinarily he wouldn't care, but he thought to himself silently that if Sara caught cold, he'd never forgive himself. But then again, that whole never forgiving himself for things was getting old. There was already too much he still couldn't forgive himself for. The walls around his heart crumbled as he turned to look at her. He didn't know what she was seeing in him during that moment, but he found it comforting to some extent that she hadn't upped sticks and fled.

He looked down at her hand when she reached for his hand. He looked up at her again, and said, "I didn't want to hide from you any more. You know how I always do that." He blinked wearily, pain evident in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Sara frowned in disbelief as he uttered the words she had never ever heard him say, even during their previous marriage. She regarded him sceptically as he looked up at the sky again. She said, "Are you high?"

He regarded her harshly in return, or at least he tried to. He sighed in defeat: the Jack O'Neill of old would never have given up so easily. Well, he thought, the Jack O'Neill of old is now old, if not older. He said, "Look, I understand. You don't even have to say it. It's all too soon. The fact that this is throwing you means that we were rushing it to begin with." He appeared troubled as he contemplated what he had just said. He shrugged, and said, "I can't even begin to tell you all the stories. I want to, believe me, but..."

Jack paused and trailed off, his train of thought lost when she snuggled up to him and leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. He blinked and said, "You know, this cabin does have a bed if you want to get down on this ol' flagpole." When she rolled her eyes and looked at him exasperatingly, he said nonchalantly, "I'm just sayin'... this chair ain't gonna take your weight as well as mine."

He flinched when she whacked his forearm. He then slid an arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer to him. If he tried hard enough, he could almost believe that they hadn't split up all those years before; that everything was still good for them; that Charlie was away at college. He blinked back surging tears as he struggled once again to deal with his emotions. He kissed the top of her head and his fingers idly wandered through her short greying locks.

She looked up at him from his shoulder, and she said quietly, "I still want to marry you, Jack." She cringed a little. "I think I might need some time though. It's all kinda crazy now."

He raised his eyebrows sharply. "Only _k__inda_ crazy? Look, _Bubblebunches_, you wanted me to tell you the truth about what I do and did."

She retorted defensively, "Well, I didn't know it was going to be so freaky!"

"Well, what were you expecting; Top Gun?" Jack sighed. "Hey... if I'd told you before, you'd never have believed me anyway; just some more of Jack's bullshit. As it is, you ran off to Danny."

He looked down at her. He really wanted to be angry at her; to shout at her and to push her away again. However, he realised that he was just angry at himself. He said quietly, "I could have broken it to you better... but, come on, you know; I know; the hypothetical cat knows... I have no tact."

"You didn't need to say that."

"Right back at ya."

He felt as though the darkness had faded from his soul as he sat there, looking up at the sky, his arm around his former-and-hopefully-soon-to-be wife. He felt wrongfooted at first, having previously never felt such peacefulness. He appeared thoughtful as the sky gradually darkened, and he realised what Daniel had meant once a long time ago when he had said that Sam had saved his soul. Sure, the next time he mentioned it, Jack would rib him just the same, but now he knew.

He said roughly, "Let's go in."

He felt her shake her head, and she said quietly, "Let's not."

He smiled a little again as he shifted in his seat. He kissed her and they watched as the day reluctantly gave way to the twilight. Screw the fish, he thought.


	18. Chapter 18

Daniel lie on his side, feeling the usual surge of warmth he felt right after making love. By this point, he would usually be drifting off to sleep while rambling some nonsense to Sam while sometimes also feeling bad that she didn't have the same biological tendency as he did to fall asleep in such circumstances. Despite his tiredness – nay, exhaustion – he couldn't sleep. She was crying. He hated it when that happened, but he also knew that she needed an outlet after spending most of her working day working in an environment that didn't encourage outward shows of emotion.

But it hurt him too. He felt as though it was his fault that she was in so much pain. He couldn't help her. She had been incredibly brave when they had visited Mitchell and Vala earlier. She had been so happy as they took turns holding baby Mitchells. They had put all the darkness to one side to be happy for their friends, but it was hard. It had been hard for him, but he could only imagine how hard it must have been for her.

A silent tear rolled down his cheek as he held her in his arms. He kissed her and found himself unable to say anything that could comfort her. They had talked previously of adopting, but nothing could ease the pain and the deep sense of inadequacy of not being able to make a child of their very own. Each time she did this, it killed him a little inside.

He rubbed her back as her silent tears continued to fall. If she had sobbed, then he could ride in on his white horse and save the day, but she was quiet, and that meant that it was something that he couldn't do anything about. If he said that he hated it when she cried, he hated it infinitely so when she would just stare at nothing as tears continuously fell.

He looked up into the darkness of their room. He said softly, "Sam... come on, let's go to sleep. We can talk tomorrow."

She muttered in a clear yet distant voice, "Yeah."

Sam then promptly turned over and lie on her side of the bed, her back to him. Daniel looked at her, too upset with the whole situation to be angry at her. She silently shrugged off his hand when he touched her shoulder, but he lie behind her, holding her close to him. She eventually gave up resisting and all became still.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

All was dark and still. Suddenly, there was a crying sound... and then it doubled into an intolerable screaming. Well, it seemed that way to Cam at least. He sat bolt upright in bed, the tired colonel looking ready to punch something. Bleary-eyed, he looked over at Vala in the dark, her snores barely audible over the sound of the babies. He nudged her and whispered,

"Vala!"

He nudged her a bit harder this time as the babies continued to scream. She groaned but didn't stir. He said, "Aww, come on, baby. I got work in the morning."

When she didn't budge, his wife muttering something he couldn't understand, he groaned aloud. He rubbed his eyes and got out of bed, leaving the room. When he had gone, Vala turned over in bed, and called out tiredly,

"Mmm, what?"

When she didn't hear anything in reply, she opened her eyes suddenly and appeared worried. She glanced around, hearing what Cam had heard. She grimaced in discomfort as she got out of bed. As she ventured out of the room, she said,

"Great, more screechy Mitchells with a mammary gland obsession. Why oh why didn't I cheat on you?"

She found her sons' room empty and she ventured downstairs on hearing what sounded like Cam singing over the sound of babies crying. She smiled a little at this despite wanting to be back in bed again. She found him in the kitchen warming milk as he held one of their sons over his shoulder, the other being rocked in a car seat by Cam's foot as both babies continued to scream. She watched the scene for a moment, feeling inexplicably out of sorts, as though she walked in on something she wasn't a part of.

Cam looked up on sensing her presence. He said wearily, "Hey, baby. Nice of you to join us. You wanna get your boobs out?"

She shot him a glare before picking up one of the babies. She retorted, just as wearily, "Always boobs... stupid men."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Come on, kiddo. You're not old... at least not _that_ old."

Sam had been leaning over a white picket fence as she watched the ducks. She looked at the tall middle-aged man with greying dark blonde hair who was leaning next to her. She frowned at him as she realised just what he had said. Her mind had been miles away as she watched the pond and had generally avoided saying anything to him.

She closed her eyes briefly in despair at her brother's sense of humour. She jabbed him sharply with her elbow and said, "Mark..."

Mark looked at her for a long moment, reminding her unsettlingly of their late father. He then turned so that his lower back was against the fence. He folded his arms across his chest and said, "Sam-o, I know that look. You've had that same look each time Chrissy came home from the hospital." He shrugged. "Don't know why anyone would want to squeeze a watermelon out of their hidey hole."

Sam looked at him in despair. She then hit him. He retorted, "Hey, behave." He looked at her sympathetically and said, "Sam, stop bringing everyone down. I haven't seen Danny so glum since... well, since that blow-out you had when I went to Colorado last."

She eyed him disdainfully. "You always take his side."

"Because... well, because he's a man I can relate to. Poor fella... stuck all alone with my fruitbasket of a sister. I really feel for him."

She glared at him frustratedly. She said, "I'm not going to even hit you this time."

He smirked smugly. "Good. I hate re-runs."

His smile vanished and he looked at his sister in that same way which usually unsettled her. He said, "If it happens, it happens. You know how long it took for you to get a nephew the first time?" He raised his eyebrows briefly. "I'll save you the details, but it did take some trying. Best and worst thing that ever happened to me."

Mark gently nudged her as he watched just how thoughtful she had grown. He said, "Anywho... please tell me that wedding of yours is still on. Seems like each time I ask, it's been postponed for some super secret mission. I'm beginning to think these super secret missions are just code for you and Danny having a fight."

Sam chuckled softly. She said, "It's still on. We've had everything set for a long time... but it looks as though General O'Neill won't be getting married with us like we'd planned. He and Sara are going through a bad patch at the moment." She shrugged. "Didn't think it right to get married on schedule."

"Oh, you'd better get hitched soon... this diet is only going to last for so long. I'm going to get to a point where I won't care whether I fit in that damn suit."

He looked at her, realising, like he had so many times previously, that she was a grown woman now, and far from the little girl he'd once known who could beat him in a fair fight. She had finally found someone worth holding on to, and he smiled, inwardly feeling quite emotional. It was someone else's job to protect her now, even if it more than likely was the other way around.

Mark grabbed her arm and led her away to a large house that loomed in the near distance. He said, "Anyway, kiddo, that's enough yammering; I'm hungry, and my lady wife has cooked." He paused as Sam let out a laugh. "Yes, I am that hungry. Quiet now."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel quietly made his way upstairs in his future brother-in-law's house amidst the noise of his fiancée's nieces and nephews rowing with one another and then his future sister-in-law yelling at them all to grow up. He winced a little as he then heard Mark arguing with Chrissy, and then Chrissy blaming the behaviour of their teenage children on Mark and his family. Daniel could only wince further as he imagined Sam trying to stay out of the argument.

The archaeologist made his way to the room that he and Sam were sharing. He breathed a sigh of relief as he closed the door behind him, the sounds of the Carter family muffled somewhat. He pulled his boots off and then sat down in the middle of the bed, cross-legged. He looked at the door as he heard someone and then someone else running up the stairs, and then some screaming, before they ran down again, apparently in a chase he had stopped caring about the second after he and Sam had arrived at the house.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, not wanting to risk being overheard by some plucky Carter picking up another phone in the house. He dialled a number and eventually was put through to whom he wanted. Following the customary greetings and answering enquiries as to his stay, he said,

"We'd like your help when we come home." He grimaced to himself a little. "Sam seems to be giving up the idea that it's possible. I just, you know, want to discuss our options." He sighed, listening to the person on the phone. "It should be Sam calling you... but you know how damn stubborn she is. When she has her mind set on something, whether it be that something is possible or impossible, she goes all the way."

He hummed and listened to the person. He nodded, eventually remembering that she couldn't see him. He said, "Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. Tomorrow?" He smiled tightly. "Thanks Carolyn."

He disconnected the phone just as the door opened. Sam looked at him with mild curiosity and asked, "Jack?"

He shook his head as she closed the door behind and joined him on the bed. She sat cross-legged opposite him, and he interlinked his fingers with hers as he held her hands. He said, reluctantly looking at her, "Carolyn."

She appeared confused, and he said, "Just wanted to know what our options are. It's about time we stop worrying like crazy by ourselves and get some help."

When he spotted the initial signs that she was getting annoyed with him, he looked less than impressed. He said, "Look, I love you and I can't watch you get all broken up each time you think how supposedly impossible us having a child is without empirical evidence."

Her emerging anger soon changed to hurt. Tears surged in her eyes and she found herself unable to speak. She looked at him and then dropped her gaze to their hands. She said hoarsely, "Thanks."

He held her in his arms, his cheek resting against her head, his eyes showing his own sadness. But he had hope and he wanted her to feel the same hope that he did, however much in vain that it might end up being. He didn't care. He gently rocked her as, for the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to believe that the one thing she wanted was more possible than she allowed herself to think.

He smiled shakily as he continued to hold her. He kissed her hair and looked down at her, reminding her of just what they had to look forward to. He whispered, "Come on, getting married to me can't be that bad." When she eventually smiled, he looked hopeful for her emotional state. He said, "You never said about who your bridesmaids are going to be."

She chuckled softly. "Yeah. My brother has two daughters; it's a given who two of my bridesmaids are going to be... or we'd be excommunicated from the state of California. As for the others, Cassie, without a doubt, and Vala." She groaned as she buried her face in his chest. "You know, the number of times we've had to reprint those invitations is beyond a joke. Soon, we'll just have to make it a Facebook event to keep us from going broke."

She looked up at him, and asked, "You haven't told the General yet, have you?"

He smiled slightly. "I haven't told Mitchell or Teal'c either. They both think that it's Jack, and Jack thinks... well, no-one knows what Jack thinks."

"That's for sure."

He looked down at her, happy to see her smiling again. He had always liked that look she had whenever she felt that nothing could stand in her way. They both looked towards the door when there was more running, shouting and screaming. They looked at one another, sharing a despairing look between them.

He remarked, "It's hard to believe that those four are the same kids we all took to the zoo all those years ago."

"You're telling me." She made a face as she remembered something. She said, "Mark and Chrissy have filed for adoption too."

He appeared momentarily surprised. He then said, "Figures. Your crazy couldn't be just yours alone." He didn't even bother wincing when she hit his arm. He smirked instead. "You know it's true."


	19. Chapter 19

_Lyrics featured are: Don't Know Much by Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Jack looked on impatiently as Sara adjusted the tie of his dress blues. He uttered a few stinging barbs, instinctively wanting to hurt her. He liked that she gave like for like despite everything and refused to leave his side. That was a start, or at least a continuation. One day he would have to stop trying to push her away – she didn't look as though she wanted to be anywhere else. He also secretly liked being fussed over; it made a big change from all those years he spent without her.

He snapped, "I already look like a prize turkey – don't make it worse."

Sara looked at him steadily, as though she could see through his attitude. This left him feeling quite vulnerable and he swallowed. He walked away from her towards the doorway of the room. He needed to put some space between them. He couldn't explain quite why he felt that but from the casual look on her face, she seemed to.

Jack said roughly, glancing away from her, "I've never had to share 'best man' with two other men. Kinda defeats the purpose. Always figured Daniel was into men..."

Sara didn't say anything for a moment as she watched him. She then turned away from him and sat down on the bed. Jack felt bad but couldn't decide how bad or what kind of bad so he remained immobile. She looked down at her hands and her shoulders slumped as though she had a lot on her mind, which in fact, she had. She glanced back at Jack and said quietly,

"We would have got married today if you hadn't pulled that shit on me."

He blinked and his voice took on a sarcastic tone. He snapped, "Oh, _I _finally tell you about my job and suddenly you don't want to marry me? Look, sweetie, if what I did bothers you that much..."

She shouted in anguish, "Jack! For cryin' out loud!" She threw her hands down and turned to glare at him. She said quietly, "Don't do this to me; not today. You don't know how hard it is for me not to be a wreck right now. Today was supposed to be our day too."

He looked as though he was going to say something nasty; he then looked to reconsider. He slowly approached her and sat on the end of the bed, next to her. He put his arms around her and quietly held her. She closed her eyes as she rested her head against his chest. He said roughly,

"We need to take it slowly; we already rushed once and I screwed up." She looked as though she was going to object but he stopped her. He looked down at her and continued, "I liked how we were before. How about we just get married at some vague undetermined point if at all?"

She nodded reluctantly, not meeting his gaze for fear that he would sense her disappointment. She said, "Yeah, that seems to work." She glanced at a clock on the wall, and she said, trying to smile, "Come on, you're gonna be late for your best friend's wedding."

He snorted in disdain, and he said, "I'm bettin' Space Monkey will be even later."

When she began to fuss over his suit again, he snapped at her. "Will you stop that? I had the damn thing pressed yesterday; it's fine!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam stared at the wedding dress that hung on the outside of her wardrobe door. She could barely remember being fitted for it. It was some time before she had been sent to Atlantis. She had gone with Mark's wife and Vala and all sorts of mischief on Vala's part had ensued.

Sam secretly feared that she had put on too much weight, and she wondered why on earth she hadn't had it refitted before now. Her insecurities aside, she looked at herself in the full-length mirror. She was still in her pyjamas; her hair was still damp from the shower. She smiled. She was getting married. Finally. She had never got this far with Pete even, but there were a vast multitude of reasons for that.

She started crying as she stared at herself in the mirror. Today was finally it; no more distractions – hopefully – no more being sent off on missions or to another galaxy. This was it. It felt so good to be able to be there finally; to be free enough to live her life and to be, well, 'normal'... or at least as normal as she could be, considering. She also felt apprehensive. Did Daniel want the same thing as she did; did he want to spend the rest of his life with her? Did he want her?

She took a deep breath and mentally shook herself. This was Daniel she was thinking about; the most stubborn man in the history of evolution. She could never make him do something that he didn't want to do. He was by herself by choice. That thought made her smile, and she began to feel better again, putting her angst down to stress and being highly strung.

She then began to feel stressed when she realised just how much time she had to get ready in, and she hadn't even started her make-up. She forced her growing panic down as she went about getting ready, treating it as though planning for a military operation; goodness knows it was the only way she was going to get through the day without being a bawling wreck.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel stood at the front of a packed church. He could hear people talking; children screaming; Mitchells screaming. He closed his eyes briefly and wished he had taken an Advil when one of Mitchell's babies refused to stop crying and Mitchell and Vala then proceeded to have to hushed fight. Jack wasn't making matters easier by slowly listing all the reasons that were keeping Sam from being there. It especially didn't make it easier until Daniel was informed that Jack had tampered with his watch.

He had hoped that Teal'c would be helpful, but between arguing with Ish'ta, and joining in with Jack's teasing by adding stories purportedly of old Jaffa customs, there was no room for him to act as a support to Daniel. To say that the archaeologist was nervous would be beyond an understatement. He wasn't even sure she was going to turn up, whether it be by accident or design. He went over the reasons in his head for her not turning up, and he couldn't blame her. He wasn't exactly Brad Pitt. He glanced at Jack, and his heart sank into his stomach; what if she and Jack were still back their old ways? What if she had realised that it was Jack she really wanted?

By the time he heard Vala fleeing to the front of the church, he felt physically sick and really wanted to go home. What the hell was he doing there? As edgy as he was, he jumped in surprise when Jack clapped him on the back as Mitchell, in dress blues, got up to join them and Teal'c. Daniel looked at Jack, and the General said,

"Daniel, I was in your place a long time ago." Jack appeared briefly wistful. "You know how cool I am, but I was as nervous as hell. I got Sara's name wrong... and that was after turning up late because I'd been stuck in the john. Every married man in this joint knows how you feel... 'cos we've all been there too."

Daniel shook his head tensely How could they know? He said nervously, "Jack, I can't go through with this. What if she still has feelings for you? I mean..." He gulped and looked away. "... she never really got a chance to explore that."

In his peripheral vision he saw Mitchell roll his eyes and look away. Jack sighed wearily as he looked up at the ceiling and muttered something in exasperation. Jack then looked at Daniel, annoyed, and said, "Danny, you're pretty; don't make me ruin that with a punch. Carter would kill me. As emotionally obtuse as I am... I know that her heart was always yours, and, well, my heart always belonged to that little lady on the pew behind you."

Jack put an arm around Daniel as did Teal'c. Teal'c said, "DanielJackson, you have nothing to worry about with regard to ColonelCarter's feelings for you. Your doubts are normal."

Cam remarked with a brief smirk, "Come on, Jackson, you were there when I attached to the old ball and chain." When the other men of SG-1 looked at him meaningfully, he rolled his eyes. He said, "Oh, come on, she's not even here right now."

They all tried hard not to smile as they heard a buzzing sound emanating from the Colonel. He hastily patted the pockets of his dress blues. He then pulled out his phone and answered it, looking pretty much like a man on Death Row. He gulped, and said,

"Hey, baby."

He quickly put his phone away again, ignoring all enquiries as to what his wife had said. Just then, he heard the opening bars of a familiar song. Suddenly, Daniel wanted to see her despite his unbearable nervousness and doubts. He slowly turned to as did everyone else to see the procession of bridesmaids.

"_Look at this face  
I know the years are showin'  
Look at this life  
I still don't know where it's goin'..._"

He smiled tightly as Cassie walked down the aisle on the arm of Mark's oldest son. He became nostalgic as he watched the young woman who had blossomed during her time on Earth. She was a medical student and well on her way to an apprenticeship at the SGC. Sadness grew as he considered how much Janet had missed, and how much Cassie had missed without Janet being there. SG-1 was not an adequate substitute for Janet Frasier, but then he considered that neither of them could ever really substitute the family that Cassie had lost. But he was damned sure that they would try.

"_I don't know much  
But I know I love you  
And that may be  
All I need to know_..."

When Cassie reached the end of the aisle, she pulled Daniel into a huge hug, and she kissed him on the cheek. She found herself unable to speak but she smiled, and he seemed to understand. Mark's son, Jake, shook Daniel's hand, and said,

"You better be good to my aunt. She'll wipe the floor with you."

The two of them went to stand on the bride's side as they watched the other bridesmaids and Mark's remaining son proceed down the aisle towards Daniel. He blushed when Vala nudged him and remarked about what would follow.

"_Look at these eyes  
They never seen what mattered  
Look at these dreams  
So beaten and so battered..._"

Daniel hadn't seen Sam since the previous day. He found himself aching for her, more than during their separations in the past. His chest hurt as he held his breath without realising. There she was on the arm of her brother. She was breathtakingly beautiful, and he had a sudden urge to cry. Fortunately, he managed to stop himself; he briefly thought how Jack would never let him forget if he had. __

"_I don't know much  
But I know I love you  
And that may be  
All I need to know_..."

He was aware of camera flashes as each guest got to their feet and broke out into a round of applause. He felt Jack or perhaps Teal'c squeeze his arm, and Daniel smiled as he watched his bride. He couldn't believe, despite their time together, that she had chosen him. He had never thought that he would see this day; there had always been things happening to postpone it. But finally, it had arrived.

"_So many questions  
Still left unanswered  
So much  
I've never broken through_

And when I feel you near me  
Sometimes I see so clearly  
The only truth I've ever known  
Is me and you..."

Sam was finally at his side and he couldn't tear his eyes from her. He was vaguely aware of Mark saying something and then patting him on the shoulder. There she was; a symphony in white, he thought. He was reminded startlingly of just how much he was in love with her, and she him. As the music faded, he took hold of her hands, and kissed her, ignoring the jeers and wolf whistles.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam quietly left the festivities as the dancing and drinking was in full swing. She pulled her veil off and left it somewhere on the side. She sat alone in the darkened cloakroom of the place where they were holding the reception. She pulled a small torch out of a pouch attached to her bouquet. She switched it on and proceeded to read the contents of an envelope that Jack had given her earlier that night.

She hadn't realised that she had been holding her breath until she finished reading the letter she held in trembling hands. She sat there, staring into the surrounding darkness as tears ran down her cheeks. Every time. Every time there had to be something. She wasn't sure she could keep doing this; keep being torn away from him. That year in Atlantis had been hell for her. She didn't want a repeat of that.

She quickly wiped away her tears when she heard the door open, and she switched her torch off, plunging herself into darkness. She hoped that whoever it was, would eventually go away, or at least that she could escape if it was just a young couple sneaking away from the party. However, she heard Daniel's voice.

"Sam?"

She heard him search for the light switch and she hid her face in her knees; partly because of her tears, and also because she didn't want her eyes to hurt in the light. Within what felt like seconds, he was by her side, his arms around her as he held her close. She sniffed, and said,

"It's not fair."

Daniel hated himself for already knowing the contents of the letter; he hated himself for not telling her sooner. He said softly, "It's a compromise, Sam. We've already flouted fraternisation regulations. We can't get a special dispensation now that the reason SG-1 was formed no longer exists... again."

She crumpled up the letter that she still held, and she angrily threw it against the wall opposite. Still not looking at him, she said, "I'll resign."

They both knew that she wasn't serious. He held her close again, and whispered, "Come on, Sam. This isn't as bad as Atlantis. You'll have vacations, and SG-1 might need the Phoenix for whatever reason... We can work it out."

She held onto his arm and tried to look hopeful. She then looked up at him and said, "Daniel?"

He rested his cheek against her hair, and said, "Hmm?"

She held onto his arm tighter and considered shoving him against the wall in an arm lock. She said, still calm, "You already knew, didn't you?"

He hesitated before replying. Daniel then said, "They need you... and that is one thing I can understand." He looked at her. "Sam, I'm sorry... but Jack and General Landry swore me to secrecy. Believe me, I was just as angry as you are right now when I heard why they had brought you back from Atlantis early."

Sam looked at him grimly. "You still could have said."

He looked back at her sadly. "It wouldn't have changed a thing." He gently kissed her, and whispered, "At least we have our honeymoon to look forward to."

She wanted to be angry at him, but found, ultimately, that she couldn't be. She looked up at him and kissed him. There always seemed to be things pulling them apart, but, she knew, she would always come back to him, and he her. She smiled up at him, and said,

"I love you."

He kneaded his forehead against hers, still feeling bad about their impending separation. He kissed her again, and whispered, "I love you too." He looked at her, and said, "Come on, let's go face Jack's dirty jokes. It's not long 'til we're due to leave for the airport anyhow; let him have his fun."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_Epilogue coming up..._


	20. Chapter 20

_Epilogue _

_Some vague SGU spoilers somewhere._

_Lyrics featured are Annie's Song by John Denver. This story has left its musical roots far behind, and I'm not sure whether it's for the better or the worst. I really do hope that you have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Comments, however damning, are very, very welcome. Thank you._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel hadn't been home properly in months. It just didn't feel like anywhere he wanted to be any more. He should have been used to it by now, he thought. Each time, it just seemed worse. At least they had managed to get married. They had barely been back from their honeymoon a week when she went away again. Of course, she had offered to turn down the new command but he would never let her do that. He couldn't do that. He knew just how hard she had worked to get where she was and where she could go.

He was so proud of her, but at the same time, he hated being apart from her. This time, he couldn't face going back to Egypt. This time, he stayed closer to home; occasionally going through the 'gate with his old team for run-of-the-mill things. At the request of General Landry, he had even recorded some training videos for new recruits, explaining the history and operation of the Stargate and the 'gate system. That had been a good distraction from the pain he felt.

Everyone had seemed to need a distraction during that time. General Hammond had passed away during Daniel and Sam's honeymoon. They had only found out when they had come back, and then Sam had been whisked away even though it was a time that everybody naturally wanted to stick together. The Phoenix had duly been renamed in the General's honour, and many members of the SGC had been left with a huge hole in their lives. The man had been a father to most of the old guard. Daniel hadn't remembered ever seeing Jack cry until the day they had laid the old General to rest.

Daniel sat on the bonnet of his car which he had parked on a lonely mountain road. It was nights like these when he was too restless to read or examine things, or to visit his friends, or even tag along on another team's mission. He just wanted to be alone – just him and the night sky. He looked up at the clusters of stars above him. He liked clear nights where it seemed as though the universe was spread before him in all its majestic splendour.

She would be back soon, he thought consolingly. He sighed with some wistfulness as he imagined all of the places he would take her; the things he would show her. He smiled to himself as he imagined her tolerant smile when he got excited over seemingly nothing in front of her. He cringed from time to time when he did things like that, but he liked that she didn't flee or try to shut him up when he made a fool of himself. Sure, she'd tease him afterwards, but sometimes it seemed to him as though she was amazed as he was, even if she did try to hide it.

He shifted his head against the windscreen of his car, and he folded his arms across his chest. All he could hear was the swirl of the breeze and the occasional sound of rustling from the nearest trees. If he concentrated, he could even hear traffic in the distance.

He lifted his hand and looked at his wedding band in the starlight. He remembered the day she had placed it on his finger; the day she had finally become his wife. He closed his eyes, a blissful smile on his face. He had a wife; even if she was half the universe away from him. He sighed long and wistfully, expecting to fall asleep.

However, he frowned and opened one eye on hearing his phone ring. Everyone had learned to not disturb him; everyone had taken great pains not to contact him when he was not at the SGC. It was an unspoken understanding he had with them. This was his time; his time to be alone. He opened his eyes properly and fumbled in his pocket for his phone.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam lie awake in her quarters aboard the USS George Hammond. It had been some months before she had seen home, and she was bristling with excitement at seeing Daniel again; at seeing all of her friends again. Her smile faltered a little as she considered staying on Earth a little while longer than she had been scheduled to... but other things were pressing on her mind. She had someone waiting for her back home – that certainly gave her cause to smile.

She imagined all of the things she would do when she made it back home again. A good week's sleep seemed the most paramount, although with a lonely Daniel, she doubted whether she would get that. She tried to think about what he was doing without her. She thought about Egypt but then quickly nixed the thought; he had seemed adamant at not wanting to go back like he had when she was in Atlantis.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard her radio. Excited, she sat up quickly, and answered it. "Copy that. On my way. Jackson out."

She couldn't help but grin then. She had kept her name while on duty, but from time to time took some pleasure in confusing people by occasionally using her married name. The grin wasn't all about that; they were within communications range of Earth. She couldn't even wait to get there. She had been away from home for a long time; too long.

Sam stood at the door of her quarters for a moment, composing herself. She took a deep breath and fastened her BDU jacket. She then strode out into the corridor, aiming for the bridge. She couldn't get there fast enough so all pretensions of professionalism were soon forgotten and she ran, ignoring the looks from occasional passers-by.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Teal'c stood in the doorway of a wooden house on a world far-flung from the one he had come to call home. He looked up at the vast sky and watched as an eagle alternatively swooped and glided far above the village. It eventually disappeared from sight, and he was left with the wide open sky. It was times like this that his life on Earth seemed to have been a dream. Of course, it hadn't, and he still bore scars – both mental and physical – of the things he had seen and done since leaving his home and everything he had ever known.

His attention was briefly drawn to an argument between a group of girls outside a neighbouring house. Teal'c slowly looked away, not wanting to be drawn into it. He looked up at the sky again, his eyes falling to the tree-line around the settlement. He liked this particular time of year on Hak'tyl. The leaves of the trees were of vibrant shades of red, gold, and brown, and wafts of bread baking and roasting meat occasionally rode the breeze.

He smiled slightly as he sighted Ry'ac coming through the settlement. Ry'ac was carrying an infant boy in his arms, and appeared to be pointing things out to the little boy. Teal'c smiled a little more as he watched his son and his grandson, and his thoughts turned to years that had passed. He felt a sense of peacefulness as he did so. Everything that he wanted to be and everything that he wanted to do was embodied in the younger man walking through the village.

Ry'ac smiled as he neared his father. He kissed his son's head and passed him to his father. Ry'ac clasped his father's arm. The younger Jaffa said, "Father, when did you return?"

Teal'c continued to smile as his grandson tugged on his hair. The elder Jaffa said, "Not long ago."

Ry'ac walked past his father into the house. There was an indeterminable expression upon the younger Jaffa's face. He said, "If you are seeking Ish'ta, she and Kar'yn are hunting with Nesa."

Teal'c turned around, watching his son have a wash at the wash bowl that he had prepared earlier. The elder said, "Of this I have knowledge. I wished to see you."

He watched as Ry'ac straightened up but remained with his back towards him. Teal'c kissed his grandson on the forehead and proceeded to enter the room. The little boy continued to tug at Teal'c's hair, and the elder Jaffa continued to watch his son. Teal'c spoke in a sombre tone of voice as he recalled times passed.

He said, "Ry'ac, I know this is not easy for you... and I am pleased that it is not. Ish'ta will never replace your mother. Drey'auc will always be a part of me."

Ry'ac shook his head and then finally turned to face his father again. Teal'c expected anger; frustration; perhaps a misguided attempt at throwing a spear. But, no. No, he just looked disappointed. Teal'c appeared somewhat perturbed at misjudging his son's feelings but he didn't speak, waiting for Ry'ac to explain.

Ry'ac finally did. He said, "Father, my mother's honour is not at stake. If it was, I would have killed you long ago." Ry'ac sighed quietly as he glanced at his feet. "What is at stake, however, is Ish'ta's honour. Do you know how much she has suffered for you? She stands by you in spite of dissension among her people here. You and she may fight a lot..." Ry'ac smiled briefly as he said that last part. "... but you must not keep her suspended like this. Either marry her or let her be."

Teal'c passed his grandson back to his son. The elder Jaffa looked at his son in mild reprove, and remarked, "So the son who has become a father thinks he has become a father to all?"

Ry'ac retorted chidingly, "You need a father who can run faster than Master Bra'tac."

A snorting sound drew their attention to the doorway where Bra'tac stood. Even though he was shorter and slighter than Teal'c, he filled up the room nonetheless. The old Jaffa teacher drew in a breath, and Teal'c's eyes softened somewhat as he noticed yet again just how old his mentor was getting.

Bra'tac eyed Ry'ac sternly with a little humour off-setting it. Bra'tac said proudly, "So you think you are physically superior to me?" Bra'tac advanced on Ry'ac, and it took all of the latter's willpower not to flinch. "... I could snap you like a twig, boy! I have defeated far stronger and bigger than your father in my time."

Bra'tac stepped back a little and glanced at Teal'c, a twinkle in Bra'tac's eye. "I do indeed feel like a young man of eighty today; perhaps even seventy. What say you, Teal'c?"

Teal'c retorted with a smirk, "You do not appear to be a day older than two hundred."

Bra'tac tried to look at Teal'c sternly but gave up somewhat, while Ry'ac all but laughed. Bra'tac replied, "Wait until you are in my boots. You still have much to learn..." Bra'tac finally smiled at Teal'c. "I am always proud of you. I will be prouder if you wed Ish'ta. It is neither wise nor appropriate to keep a warrior and a woman of her calibre waiting."

Teal'c regarded his mentor moodily. He eventually replied, "I will listen to advice from both of you..." He glanced at Ry'ac. "... when you are betrothed to such a stubborn woman as Ish'ta."

Ry'ac remarked with a laugh, "Oh, father. She is perfect for you."

Bra'tac added, "The boy speaks sense."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cam was seated in the observation room overlooking the SGC Infirmary. He had dimmed the lights and was idly flicking through a magazine. He was in civilian clothes, having been called in an hour previously. He sighed as he glanced down at a curtained-off area of the Infirmary. He didn't have to be called but it was a good way of getting out of the house; away from the madness of being shacked up with a post-natal Vala and screaming babies.

He immediately felt a stab of guilt as he thought that last thought despite the fact that he hadn't slept properly since his sons were born. He had planned on asking Jackson whether he could stay the night at his and Sam's but had soon decided against it, knowing that he couldn't leave his family for a whole night. And besides, it wasn't as though he was going to get any sleep at theirs anyhow.

He glanced up on hearing someone entering the observation room. Cam smiled tiredly and said, "Hey Jackson."

Daniel took a seat next to him, the archaeologist appearing flushed. Cam remarked casually, "Took you long enough. You sure you didn't stop by Egypt on the way?"

Daniel was sat on the edge of his chair, looking every bit on edge as he looked down into the Infirmary. He replied distractedly, "No... I, uh, was in the mountains. Wasn't expecting to be called so late."

Cam looked up from his magazine and noticed that Daniel still looked pretty nervous. The colonel said, "Hey, look, it's just some routine stuff. Everyone's been through it. Now sit on that damn thing properly before I give Carolyn some proper work to do. Ain't nothing like your John Denver impersonations that'll get me started."

Daniel seemed to at least try to relax somewhat. He glanced at the colonel who was back to flicking through the magazine. He glanced at him again, noticing Cam slow down and eventually look up at him. Cam snapped,

"What?"

Daniel shrugged and said, "Nothing. I was just thinking... you look like crap."

Cam remarked gruffly, "I aim to please."

Daniel adjusted his glasses as he spoke. "You're welcome to stay at ours. We have a guest room that'll stay a guest room for a long while yet." He finally took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. He looked at Cam. "Vala seems to be coping a bit better than before."

"Hell, I would too if I got a decent night's sleep." Cam sighed. "Thanks for the offer, buddy, but I'm in this for the long haul. Figure I might as well get used to it without a decent bar in the neighbourhood."

Daniel put his glasses back on as he glanced at the window again. He said, "Well, the offer's still open. You'd do the same for me."

Cam thought a little. He then said, "Yeah, but you'd be a stubborn ass about it."

"Looks like we have much in common."

"Well, as T tends to say... indeed."

Daniel looked back into the Infirmary again. He remarked nervously, "How long have they been in there? Post-mission phys's don't take _this_ long."

Cam sat back in his chair and replied, "I didn't think to kick up a fuss – the peace and quiet has been kinda nice." He glanced at Daniel. "Carolyn's been in and out a few times... it doesn't look all that serious. Don't worry your pretty li'l head about it."

Cam later would swear that Jackson had vanished literally within the blink of an eye. Damn, that boy moved fast. Cam dropped his magazine and stood up to stretch. He might as well be heading home; there didn't look as though there would be time for catching up. He yawned, and then spoke into the microphone,

"Night, y'all."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Daniel wrapped his arms around her tightly and refused to let go. He hated how fate kept trying to keep them apart. Sam didn't appear to be complaining as she held onto him just as tightly. He hadn't expected her back so soon which added to his sense of shock. His wife was back and he wanted nothing more than to take her home and forget about the place that kept taking her away from him. He couldn't speak; tears welled up in his eyes. She was back and he was never ever going to let her go.

Well, he did; or at least he had to when she quietly complained that she couldn't breathe. Embarrassed somewhat, he let her go, his hands, however, lingering on her upper arms. He smiled bashfully and said,

"I'm just happy to see you."

Sam smiled at him, just as eager to see him as he was to see her. She said, "Oh, more than likewise." She reached up to touch his cheek. "How have you been?"

He shrugged casually, remarking, "Oh, the usual. You?"

"Pretty much." She grinned as he stooped to kiss her, and she wrapped an arm around his neck as she returned his kiss.

She kept her arm in place as she looked up at him, and he realised that she was about to cry. He frowned a little as he dried her tears with his thumbs. He said, concerned, "Sam..."

Sam's gaze dropped and she appeared to be suddenly pensive. Daniel became increasingly concerned as he watched her. He gently touched her chin, lifting her face up slowly. Her eyes met his again, and she spoke as though she was unable to believe what she was about to say. She said,

"I'm pregnant."

Daniel froze, unable to process what she had just said. Sam was crying and almost laughing at the same time as she looked at him. She had known him long enough to know that his silence didn't necessarily mean anything bad. He finally seemed to wake up from whatever reverie he had lost himself in, and he said, unsure,

"You're..."

She nodded, and said, "Yes. I didn't know until Carolyn tested me now." She sighed as she rested her head against his shoulder. "I didn't think it was even possible."

They had been trying for some time. They had talked about it so much. They had even approached Doctor Lam for some help. He still didn't think it would ever happen; he had done all that he could to keep Sam's hope alive while his had faded into the darkness some time ago. He finally grinned, not knowing how to react or what to do. This had never happened to him before. He was going to be a father.

Overwhelmed, he said, "That's... that's amazing, Sam. That really is."

There were times that Sam had rendered her husband speechless, and this was just one of those times. At this point in their relationship, she considered it an art, especially when she managed it when he was getting excited over something and wouldn't stop talking. She continued to smile as she looked up at him and she reached up to smooth the hair around his ear. Her smile faltered somewhat as she not only remembered just how hard they had tried but also just how much he had been through throughout the years she had known him and before. Despite that, he had always been her rock; the one whom she could turn to when the world refused to make sense.

He was hugging her again and she closed her eyes. She opened them again upon realising that he was crying as he held her close, his face hidden in her shoulder. She looked up at him and caressed the back of his head as he did his best to try and convince her that he had hay fever. She looked up at him reassuringly and said,

"Daniel... I'm as surprised as you are. I didn't expect it in the slightest... but, yet again..." She smiled. "... you managed to do something seemingly impossible." Tears surged in her eyes as she took his glasses off. "Proud of you."

He turned to look at her and she soon grew sombre. She had forgotten just how clear his eyes were; just how she usually got lost in them when they were alone together. Daniel smiled playfully and remarked,

"I'm proud of you too." He gently kissed her. "We finally did it."

She beamed at him. "We finally did... although..." She feigned seriousness. "... I have to do the carrying."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Jack closed the front door behind him and breathed deeply. He wasn't a young man any more; far, far from it, even if his love life tended to be suited to someone at least thirty years junior. Still, going for a run made him feel as though some of those years had fallen away. As the minutes and miles turned, he could pretend that he still worked out regularly and that he wasn't fighting the Battle of the Bulge; that he didn't have a single chestnut hair on his head; and that he wasn't quite as jaded and as tired as he was.

He was an old man who had lost much, but who had also retained much. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't miss Charlie; that he didn't wonder what he would have done; how he would have looked. Seeing his mini-me the very few times that he had since the clone had been given an identity and a life, had been far too painful for words. Charlie would have looked remarkably similar; Charlie would also have given him as much lip. If only Daniel would stop caring so much and stop keeping in contact with the _thing_. It just wasn't right.

A relatively recent loss had opened it all up again. This time, however, it wasn't his fault but it didn't hurt any less. George Hammond. The man had been everything to him; even more than he could have ever known until he wasn't there any more. There was nobody to talk to: Sara didn't know everything; Daniel was already hurting because Carter was leaving so he retreated from everyone like he usually did; Teal'c was spending more and more time with Ish'ta and the Hak'tyl. That left Cassie, who had known Hammond for almost as long. It was nice, if he said so himself, to have someone to talk to. For the first time in his life, he wanted to talk to someone; to share his burden. It helped somewhat and he found that he had a new appreciation for talking out his problems, much to Sara's annoyance some of the time.

Jack pulled off his sweat-stained sweater as he walked along the hallway. He tossed it in a laundry basket that had been left on the kitchen floor. He wrenched the fridge open and downed a bottle of juice before tossing the bottle into the trash. He turned to see Sara standing in the doorway, watching him. He said gruffly,

"Hey little lady."

Sara tutted as she crossed the kitchen to load the washing machine. She said reprovingly, "You don't have any cartilage left in your knees. Stop overusing them. You're not going out on missions any more."

He rolled his eyes and retorted, "It was a great run, thanks for asking." Jack slammed the fridge door shut. "What the hell's your problem anyhow?"

She slammed the washing machine door shut and straightened up. She didn't appear amused in the slightest. "You'll have an answer to that the day you'll play second fiddle to my friends." Her anger faded, leaving despair in its wake. "Jack, I know you're not the most romantic guy in the world... hell, I knew that when we started this whole thing up again, but you really are as dumb as sh..."

Jack held up a hand and said wearily, "Okay, so what did I forget this time? You had your birthday last week, and we... did things. A lot of things if I remember rightly."

"Listing what you didn't forget would be a less-taxing exercise." She sighed, her shoulders dropping in despair. "I want to see things, Jack. I want to do things. I don't want to live by pond my entire life, watching you blindly grope for fish that aren't always there until you go back to D.C. Or decide you want to mosey on by to Colorado Springs."

Jack hesitated before asking, "Have you been talking to Daniel again?"

She rolled her eyes in frustration, and said, "At least he knows how to treat a girl. If I were twenty years younger, I'd be all over him."

He folded his arms across his chest and regarded her frostily. He said, "You're already all over him. Can the crap." He paused as though remembering something. He took his phone out of his pocket and said, "Hey, did you try to call me? Phone cut out completely. Must have forgotten to charge it."

Sara appeared momentarily confused and then she smiled. She said, "Oh, no, that wouldn't have been me." She raised her eyebrows briefly. "Daniel called."

He turned away, feeling more than a little annoyed. "Big whoop." He turned back to her, his curiosity and concern for his best friend getting the better of him. "What did he say?"

"Carter's back from her ship... and she's pregnant."

Jack stood there, not sure he had heard her correctly. When she repeated it, he raised his eyebrows slowly. He then remarked with a smirk, "Told you he wasn't shooting blanks." He went up to her, his hands on his shoulders. He said calmly, "Sara..."

She feigned annoyance as she avoided his gaze. She eventually looked at him and smiled a little. "I've already packed and booked the flight. We leave tonight."

Jack kissed her, and said proudly, "I knew I married you for a reason."

She shot him a scathing look, and she said, "We didn't get married again, nitwit."

He hesitated as though thinking. He waved his hand and said, "Uh, well, you know, that first time." He looked down at her and sighed silently. He said, "Sara, we can go wherever the hell you want. All you had to do was ask. Hell, you don't even have to say anything; just walk out of the door and I'll follow." He paused and Sara shot him another look. "... because, well, someone has to."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam was home again. She lie in the dark, safe in Daniel's arms once again. She had missed him so very much. She had missed his body; his mind; his soul. Still, she had loved the experience of being in charge of her own ship; knowing exactly how it worked and just what it was capable of gave her an advantage over most ship commanders. Most ship commanders weren't involved in the design and construction of their ships either. She had, of course, missed the hands-on nature of her role on SG-1. There was a reason she had tried to avoid being in command in general. It usually meant having to be the one left behind while others went ahead.

If SG-1 was still a fully-functional team, they probably would have been on Icarus Base. They would mostly definitely have been there. Daniel had been pretty much inconsolable that he hadn't been allowed to go there to work on unlocking the ninth chevron of the Stargate. He had, as he had quite rightly albeit repeatedly pointed out, unlocked the Stargate to begin with, and had also discovered the gate address for Atlantis. All they could now though was wait; hoping, while natural, usually proved futile.

"_You fill up my senses_

_Like a night in the forest_

_Like the mountains in springtime_

_Like a walk in the rain_

_Like a storm in the desert_

_Like a sleepy blue ocean_

_You fill up my senses_

_Come fill me again_..."

Sam rubbed the arm that was around her and she smiled wearily. She was home again. Once again, she was setting out on another adventure; this time a lot closer to home than the others she had embarked upon. She was going to be a mother. She wasn't sure how she would manage it; how they would work things out with work while she was pregnant and after the baby arrived... but right now, while there was a lull, she was excited for what the future could hold.

She looked towards the window, the moon just about visible as its light fell upon the two of them. He wasn't asleep; that much was clear as she listened to his breathing and his occasional mutterings. He rubbed her stomach, and she felt as though that that particular moment was perfect; as though it was something she would carry with her for the rest of her life. Sometimes, she found it hard to believe just how much in love he was with her, let alone how she felt about him.

"_Come let me love you_

_Let me give my life to you_

_Let me drown in your laughter_

_Let me die in your arms_

_Let me lay down beside you_

_Let me always be with you_

_Come let me love you_

_Come love me again_..."

What a wonderful day it had been. They had spent it with their friends, and Teal'c and Jack had stopped by. It had been full of laughter and joy, of recollections and nostalgia. Daniel had seldom left her side, her hand in his. In her lowest moments, when she had thought in despair that she would never have a family of her own, she was reminded that she had always had a family; SG-1 was hers and always had been. Even as they went their separate ways; did their own things, or just adapted their lives, she could count on them being there. She could count on him being there too.

She glumly thought at one point how she might never go back to the ship; perhaps even to active service at all. Somehow, it didn't seem to matter as much as she thought it should. This was a new adventure; one which she was not best prepared for, but one where she had her friends around her; one where Daniel would be there.

"_You fill up my senses_

_Like a night in the forest_

_Like the mountains in springtime_

_Like a walk in the rain..._

_Like a storm in the desert_

_Like a sleepy blue ocean_

_You fill up my senses_

_Come fill me again_..."

She turned her head a little when Daniel kissed her shoulder. She hummed contentedly as he played with her hair. Sam closed her eyes. She had missed that – the way he used to play with her hair when they were alone together or sometimes during casual moments with their friends. It felt an aeon since he had done that last. It felt an aeon since she had felt comfortable enough to have her hair down.

She turned again, this time to kiss him. She looked up at him in the moonlight, admiring just how youthful he looked. For the umpteenth time since, well, ever, she thanked whatever powers that be that had given him to her; that had let her fall in love again without the usual heartbreak. She silently thanked Cam, Vala, and Teal'c for giving them the necessary shove to get things going.

Daniel whispered, "I don't want to go to sleep."

Sam traced his lips with her fingertips. She whispered in reply, "Neither do I."

"It feels like I'm supposed to say something."

She smiled as she met his gaze. She said softly, "You don't have to. It's just nice being here." Her smile faded as her gaze fell. She grimaced a little and said, "It's really hard to believe I'm carrying a baby. It doesn't feel like I imagined. I didn't even know I was pregnant; I just thought it was a chronic case of indigestion. The food on the ship wasn't all that great."

Daniel snorted, remarking, "MRE's usually aren't."

He kissed her neck and didn't speak for a long while. Sam, however, could tell that there was a lot on his mind. They had talked a lot already but she sensed that he was holding back; that there was something he didn't want to say. She frowned slightly in worry and looked up at him once again. She said,

"Daniel... talk to me."

He appeared lost in thought and when she managed to get his attention, he seemed the tiniest bit sad before he tried to cover it up. She became even more worried, and he sighed softly, knowing that he could never hide anything from her for long; also that he was just bad at hiding to begin with. He dropped his gaze as he caressed her stomach, not knowing how to begin.

He eventually looked at her, and said, "It's nothing, really. It's just that I keep worrying that this is all a dream. I think I'll wake up and you won't be here, let alone this miracle that's happening to us." He sighed. "When Sha're came back to me the first time, she was pregnant. I guess I'm kinda scared."

Sam stared up at him in the darkness, wondering how she could have missed that; how she could have not taken his past trauma into account. She held him to her breast as he grew silent and thoughtful, and she tried not to cry. She slowly ran her fingers through his hair and whispered softly,

"It's okay, Daniel. I understand." She looked down at him and kissed the top of his head. "But that isn't going to happen again. That's over."

Nothing was said for a long while, both of them thinking of times passed and how things had changed. Suddenly, Daniel moved and he seemed like a new person, as though he had dealt with something big. She smiled slightly as she looked up at him in the darkness. He kissed her with a longing that almost made her cry. He said,

"I love you, Samantha Jackson."

Recognising a certain glint in his eyes, she flushed with excitement. She remarked, "Careful, cowboy, Cam's in the other room and Jack and Sara are downstairs."

He grinned. "We can deal with them at breakfast."

– **Fin **

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_Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, favouriting, and alerting. Reviews are so very welcome._


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